Multiple children

[WanderingTrolley1]

What do you think of couples who have large families - say 4/5/6+ children?

Er, no. More that nurture is very important. But you'd probably need more than a 5 second google to get the picture!

If they can afford it, then I think it’s a reasonable choice to have made.
I don’t think we could afford 4 or more and still have the standard of living we want, but I would like 3. Some of the happiest families I knew growing up were the big ones.

Yes, possibly but TV psychology isn’t really my sort of thing.

As I said I come from a large family and have had a larger than the norm family myself. I obviously thought about it and think it’s a good way to live/grow. It’s not something I would think of as a negative, though if I’m honest I wouldn’t have wanted to be an only or have just one sibling myself.

On a personal level, I’m glad I’ve only got one sibling

Both my parents came from large families and found it problematic as children and adults

On a wider I think, population and... why do you want to add to the problems, have they thought about DC getting work etc in future.

I also learned from my parents that there’s an awful lot of lying involved in managing a large family, diplomatically.

One reason I think it’s a shame about local libraries closing is that children from larger families are more likely to need a quiet escape place, as well as possible study space.

Why do you think the children from larger families would find it harder to find work?

Lying??? . What a strange idea.

Not much, not especially impressed as others are - a brief looks noisy / hard work if they are

In general though the trend might turn away from it as people consider environmental impact more

I have five I always wanted 6 but my body would never cope with another pregnancy so we're sticking with 5. I love having a big family the house is never quiet.

Eight here, one adopted and now grown up. They were fab, and have always adored each other. Stressful and busy, but there’s a gap between them- 4 in six years, 4 year gap, 4 in 4years (2 sets of twins).
Environmentally, they did endless outdoor activities, we recycled, walked a lot and were endlessly happy. I didn’t work, while DH was away a lot. We have one gorgeous granddaughter already.

5, I don’t think children from larger families find it harder to find work

I just mean, there’s horrendous competition already, and then there’s AI to factor in, so people having several children could they support them or some of them as adults with work decreasing?

I must admit, this was prompted by seeing a man with several children on a documentary about AI. In fairness his kids were older, but it was clear he had not thought at all about the financial future of the humans he brought into the world.

5, re lying

Why is that odd? When you’re a little child you can get away with saying “I hate having so many brothers and sisters ”. But when you’re older, you realise you can’t say it, or have to be very careful to whom you say it.

A pp saying the house was never quiet....that’s partly why some of my aunts and uncles had none, one or two. Obviously I didn’t grow up in a big family but I can see why they found it pretty grim.

I have 4.

They all have 1:1 with each parent.

We can afford them all.

I still go to work as does my husband.

As pp's have said we haven't been on a foreign holiday for 5 years but people I know with less children go every 1/2 years. We recycle, reuse, hand down etc

If you ask the dc they'd tell you they'd love another sibling (they aren't getting one 😂)

My house is frequently quiet and I have four ranging in age from 2 to 10. It was always busy and noisy when they were smaller and there were therefore less of them as the younger one/two hadn't been born yet but not the oldest two are at an age where they go play out with their friends, go to clubs/activities, and drift off to their rooms to play with the toys they have up there it can be quiet. This afternoon the 2yo was napping, 5yo was playing in the back garden with the kids from next door, 8yo was around the corner visiting her friend, and 10yo was in his room listening to music on headphones and building Lego. Aside from the 5yo popping in to show me some cool snails he had found, it was blissfully silent for ages.

Most people don’t insist their children lie to maintain some weird hive mind. If I wanted only one view expressed wouldn’t it be easier to just have one child? Mine are all very different as are my siblings. Some had none and some lots. Some say they won’t have any and some want lots. Nobody has to lie.

At least one of my children will be supported by us (as they are to date) but I’m pretty confident the others will find work, they are very able and have a good work ethic and value that. My house isn’t particularly noisy and we all have bedrooms we can be alone in should we want that. We go on holiday, those that want it have after school activities (though only my youngest is really keen on that sort of thing).

5 “Most people don’t insist their children lie to maintain some weird hive mind”

I didn’t say that at all. I think you are completely unable to see my points - or really, the points my parents made about the problems they found. I’m sure some people love it. But OP asked what people thought, so I shared some thoughts.

I’m sure iPads and headphones have made life much easier in this way, my father would be 80 if he were alive, so a very different time to be a big family.

It’s not just foreign holidays though is it?

You will use more resources with 4 or more children, no matter how much you recycle. More food, water etc. Usually need bigger houses. When they become adults they might each have cars.

They will then have houses etc when they leave home, meaning more resources being used. Then if they have the same number of children the cycle repeats.

Truthfully? I wonder how much each birth costs the NHS.

Gosh I think by your reckoning my oldest three must have bucked the trend seeing as they are all self supporting and living independently. They all had part time jobs from being thirteen when they could do a paper round, then did waiting on or shop work in sixth form. Two of the three have done degrees and Masters and professional qualifications funded by their employer. All worked full time after doing their A levels as none of them fancied university because they wanted to be out in the real world. I'd say they are more independent than some of their peers not through necessity but through choice. None of them will have a big family though, not because they were or are unhappy about being one of five but because they understand how much hard work went into raising them and they want an easier life.

ineed I agree.

Not taking a foreign holiday and recycling the cereal boxes does not cancel out the overall impact of more children.

The whataboutery in regards to recycling doesn't lessen the impact that a larger family is having.

Good goading, OP: you got the thread of judginess and disagreement you wanted.

Those who can afford big families should go ahead and contribute young people who will be sorely needed to look after the planet which previous generations have wrecked.

This is a joke, isn't it?

Not taking a foreign holiday and recycling the cereal boxes does not cancel out the overall impact of more children.

Exactly, the biggest environmental impact of having children is not the years they are children, it's the many more years they are adults. You don't fly as a family and use cloth nappies? Great, but your kids will no doubt grow up and fly places, have their own kids, houses, cars, etc. The resource use is exponential.

The stereotype that childless people are environmental vandals who don’t care about the future of the planet is nearly as bad as the assumption that we all live a hedonistic carefree life filled with luxury holidays and designer handbags.

If the parents can independently afford to have them and have the love and time to give to each child, it doesn't bother me how many kids people have.

I have to say having multiple children wouldn't be my cup of tea, I can't imagine having more than two, but as above, how many children other people have isn't really my business!