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Original poster

Please talk some sense into me - Holiday panic

54 replies

IWasNotExpectingThis · 12/08/2019 07:12

Hi all. NC. I really was not expecting to feel like this at all. I will soon turn 50 and as my celebration, we're taking a family road trip to the USA and Canada for 3 weeks. We leave tomorrow. As the date has been approaching, I have been feeling more and more panicky inside. I don't want to tell my DH as he's been working extremely hard to make this happen. Right now I feel like I just want to be in my home and sleep in my bed and feel safe in familiar surroundings.

I have not done any research on the destinations, I have not started packing, and I am really struggling to accept that I won't be in my home for the next three weeks. For some ridiculous reason this makes me feel really vulnerable.

I do realise this is so stupid, it's not like we're going to some third world country, DC are 13 and 16 so not little babies at all!!!

Is this pre-menopause panicking? Anything I can get off the pharmacy today that will help me tomorrow?

OP posts:

dimsum123 · 12/08/2019 07:19

Poor you, I've felt like this in the past when I was the one who booked the holiday!

It sounds like anxiety, do you suffer from this generally?

I'm not sure what to suggest but I think it's worth going to the pharmacy or health food shop to ask if there are any calming things you can take.

Also I would speak to DH, I'm sure he wouldn't want you to feel like this before you're due to go away.

Original poster

IWasNotExpectingThis · 12/08/2019 07:25

No I do not normally suffer from anxiety, that's why I'm puzzled and really not understanding myself at the moment.

It really would not be fair to tell DH right now. He is unbelievably stressed at work and has planned this whole trip single-handedly, which has been a job in itself!

OP posts:

dimsum123 · 12/08/2019 07:52

Is it because it's 3 weeks and not the usual 2?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Menopause Women's health

OtraCosaMariposa · 12/08/2019 07:56

it really does sound like the menopause panic. I totally sympathise. I'm around the same age as you and it's plagued me for the last year or so and it got so bad last winter I ended up on anti-depressants.

It comes as a shock when you've been a secure, together person for most of your life and it hits you like a train.

If it's any consolation, I'm usually fine as soon as I get on the plane. Have a lovely time :-)

RNBrie · 12/08/2019 07:57

Has it been a while since you've been away? I had something similar recently and it really surprised me but when I thought about it, it had been years since I'd been away on a trip like that. Since we have had kids I've barely been on an aeroplane. I've no idea why it made me feel so bad, but u was definitely out of practice.

All I can say is that I just got on with it, I was anxious up until I actually got on the plane and then I relaxed completely and had an amazing time. Honestly, amazing. Keep putting one foot in front of the other and you'll get there. It will be worth it, you trip sounds fabulous.

Original poster

IWasNotExpectingThis · 12/08/2019 07:57

It's everything. Getting to the airport, flying, getting to our first airb&b, getting hire car, setting off, being 100% responsible for making this into a nice holiday for ourselves, realising how expensive everything is... Then I am also winding myself up thinking that we're going to have an accident, we're going to encounter a bear, we're going to be bored, one of us is going to get sick, it's going to rain every day, we'll lose our flight back...
I am not normally a pessimistic person!!

OP posts:

Original poster

IWasNotExpectingThis · 12/08/2019 07:59

Is there anything I can buy over the counter that will help me?

OP posts:

SleepRegression · 12/08/2019 07:59

Maybe looking at the places you are going to visit will help, looking at the places you want to go might help you feel excited about it.

Original poster

IWasNotExpectingThis · 12/08/2019 08:00

We go away every summer but it's always Spain/France, nothing as adventurous.

OP posts:

SleepRegression · 12/08/2019 08:00

Rescue remedy is good for calming

Kam610 · 12/08/2019 08:07

My DH and I recently went on a Canadian road trip for 3 weeks this summer. Before we left I had been working night shift and was unwell. I felt similar. I found it hard to get excited but it was because I was just feeling run down and tired. When we arrived at our first destination after flights etc, I relaxed and we ended up having the most amazing 3 weeks. I would see if you can get anything for anxiety from the pharmacy and ask your family to help with packing so all the stress is not piled on you. Then make sure you have all your paperwork/passports/Visa/ETA etc then you can relax. Will you have time at home when you come back before you return to work? I found that knowing I wasn't back to work straight after arriving home was a big comfort so we could get over the jetlag!

goodgodlemon · 12/08/2019 08:08

I do this alot - think something is a great idea and then have a massive panic just before because I'm totally out of my comfort zone! But it usually turns out fine! You probably haven't done any reading up cos it is too stressful but once you are there I'm sure it will be fine and you will relax! And then you can just read up on places one day at a time. It sounds like it will be an amazing experience and you will be so glad you did it! I'm very jealous!! Hope you have a wonderful time :)

DerelictWreck · 12/08/2019 08:11

Sounds very like anxiety even if caused by something else. Best thing you can do is have a quick google on how to cope. Things like being logical I.e. unpicking each 'fear' really help. Anxious you're going to miss your flight home? Make yourself remember everytime you've caught a flight home easily etc etc.

Otherwise there's not much to do but ride it out. Knowing it's an illogical feeling is the start as that will help you give your brain a shake!

jellybeanteaparty · 12/08/2019 08:15

I think it would be worth looking and doing some research of your own into your destinations and checking that everything has been booked etc and you know the plan. It may be that because you have not booked it yourself and it is unknown that you are feeling more anxious. Sounds like a fab trip by the way.

Soontobe60 · 12/08/2019 08:17

OP, you'll have an amazing time. I did this trip for my 50th too! You're not going to some remote, dodgy place full of violent criminals or wild animals waiting to attack you. You won't encounter bears, everyone speaks your language, driving is easy, food will be familiar. The weather will be good. Ask your DH to go through the itinerary tonight over dinner. We always get take away the night before a big holiday, so you don't need to think about cooking. For what to pack, most places you'll be staying have laundry facilities so keep it minimal. The majority of places you will go to are casual, so no need for lots of dressy outfits.
When you get to the airport tomorrow, have a big gin and tonic, and relax.
For the flight, have you got noise cancelling headphones? They are excellent at drowning out sound!
Where are you flying to? Why don't you let us know your itinerary and we can suggest some things to do?

Original poster

IWasNotExpectingThis · 12/08/2019 08:18

Thank you so much everyone, this is helpful.

Kam610 where did you go?

OP posts:

Adversecamber22 · 12/08/2019 08:24

I have visited America about 20 and am off in a week. Great place for a holiday. It’s an unknown place hence the panic and it will be more intense because you haven’t packed anything yet. Wash all clothes now and get a list written and start packing ASAP. I recommend taking tea bags as America ain’t great for tea.

I alway day as long as I have the paperwork and a credit card it’s fine to forget stuff. I hate flying so that’s my only problem with hols.

Have a great time.

KUGA · 12/08/2019 08:25

It`s stress.
Do your packing and have a wonderful 50th Birthday/Holiday
HAPPY 50TH

Kam610 · 12/08/2019 08:25

Iwasnotexpectingthis - we started off in Vancouver and drove to Vancouver Island, Whistler, Kamloops, Jasper, Lake louise, Banff, Calgary and then flew to Manitoba and spent some time with family there. It was an amazing trip! And we didn't encounter anything scary at all. We did see a couple of small brown bears but it was when we were in the Rockies and we weren't on foot, we were on a gondola. I was so worried that because we were stopping at so many places that there bound to be some mess ups with hotel check ins/ car hires etc but it all went so smoothly and without a single hiccup. I'm sure you will be fine 😊

ThisIsMeOrIsIt · 12/08/2019 08:27

As a 25-year-old I drove Route 66 with a 19-year-old male friend. It took us just over 3 weeks. It was brilliant! Even driving on our own through the Mojave Desert was fine. We did lots of interesting stops and stayed in some independent motels. We met no weirdos or bears, nor did we have any car issues.

OP, get some Rescue Remedy and I'm sure you will have a wonderful time. I am quite envious of your adventure!

Original poster

IWasNotExpectingThis · 12/08/2019 08:29

Thanks again

Kam610 we're going to be over on the other side, Toronto & Quebec. I even worry I chose the wrong destination but it meant a slightly shorter flight so went for that.

OP posts:

AFingerofFudge · 12/08/2019 08:32

OP, I could have nearly written your post a couple of months ago just before our road trip holiday to the States and Canada with 3 DCs aged between 19 and 10!
I say nearly because I was on a total knife edge between complete panic (over all the things you mentioned) and forcing myself to look forward to it as an adventure. I kept saying to people "oh we're just winging it while we're there, I don't want to plan too much" - in truth I couldn't plan as I knew I'd fall off the knife edge into a complete panic.
And, like you, it was completely unlike me. I'm the calm chilled type who loves doing something new. I'm convinced that my age has something to do with it (50 later this year)
So, the reality was amazing! It was so well suited for not planning much until we were there. Motels and hotels were easy to come by, they almost all had laundry facilities. I did by a mobile phone package before I left so I could research places along the way. We met so many friendly and helpful people. Everyone stayed well, we loved the driving.
The hard part is getting yourself on that plane. But if you're anything like me, it will give you such a mental boost knowing you did it. I'm still having mini panics about other things (again unusual for me) but knowing i got over that massive hurdle (as it felt) has given me an ability to say to myself "you're ok, you can do this" over other stuff.
Have a great time!

AngelasAshes · 12/08/2019 08:34

Spain/France is more adventurous than US/Canada imho because they speak English in the US/Canada and their culture is more similar.

I agree with others too, start looking up the places you are going and thinking about what you would like to see and do in each place.

Make sure you are not driving in car for hours every day.

Think of a fun activity to try like rafting on a river, or horse back riding in a national forest, or going to a rodeo...etc

Kam610 · 12/08/2019 08:38

Iwasnotexpectingthis - don't worry about choosing the wrong destination! I have never been to Quebec or out of Toronto airport but we absolutely adore Canada and for our next big trip we are planning on seeing the east coast and Toronto! The people are so so friendly that even just interacting with them is a delight.
We actually had a laugh when we were in Banff, we were lost and didn't realise we were standing at a bus stop, so when a bus pulls alongside of us we apologised profusely as we weren't waiting to get on, but the bus driver simply said "that's ok, do you want me to help you find your way?" We looked at each other and laughed. Where we are from we would have probably been sworn at for wasting their time! 😂
Just get yourself organised, make sure you have your visas and relax. You will have the best time!

BananaBooBoo · 12/08/2019 08:39

Hi OP. We are just back from Toronto and loved it so much we were goggling jobs! Went to a blue Jay's baseball game:tickets cheap, Niagara Falls day trip, Escape room at Casa Loma (teens loved this!), Ripley's Aquarium and Cn tower, biked around Toronto islands. Honestly so much to do there. And used Airbnb and it was brilliant. So relax and enjoy yourselves.

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