Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

How often do you have sex?

67 replies

Notinlalaland · 11/08/2019 21:55

Just that really.

OP posts:
BarbedBloom · 12/08/2019 00:15

5 or 6 times a week, no kids though

RitmoRatmo · 12/08/2019 00:20

Used to be once a year or less in my previous marriage. With my DP it’s every time we see one another (4-6 times times a week). If we lived together full-time we’d just be worn away to husks! Grin

FlamedToACrisp · 12/08/2019 02:08

I think it's healed up tbh

AnnieOnAMapleLeaf · 12/08/2019 02:30

Uhhh...2 or 3 times a year?! Blush

Zoflorabore · 12/08/2019 02:32

This year- once Blush

And that's living with a partner, 11 year relationship. Doesn't help that he sleeps downstairs every night. Relationship is a joke to be honest.

Reading these replies has made it so obvious how bad it is. 41 and 42 years old.

StarlightLady · 12/08/2019 03:33

In my 40s. On average 2-3, sometimes 4 times over a weekend. Very rarely on weekdays, unless on holiday. Too tired from work.

I masturbate once or twice most day though. The needs are so different and less energy required because it’s just me time.

GlamGiraffe · 12/08/2019 05:24

This is probably a MN shocker!

Never!!!

DH and are are one of the closest couples you could get. There's no lack of intimacy but we don't have sex anymore. Wee both very happy with this. I know neither of is having it elsewhere. We live together, work together, he goes yo the gym once a week and sometimes DS goes with him randomly without prior arrangement. If there's ever been an urgent issue and I've needed to call the gym he's been there. Definitely no affairs.
We're very content and after 20 years we're ultra close much closer than we were when we were having sex 7 times a day. It's different. I don't miss it.

Blankiefan · 12/08/2019 06:48

Once a month which is fine for me but DH would like more often. I keep meaning to prioritise increasing it but don't.

Aqueo517 · 12/08/2019 07:03

We’ve been together 20 years. We’re down to about 3 times a month (once a week and then a week off when I’m on my period). It’s good when we do it though, the spark and connection are still there.

The thing we really struggle with is that DS is 11 and we can obviously only do it when he’s in bed asleep which leaves a very small window of opportunity. It’s also the point in the day when we’re both shattered. We’d do it so much more if that kiss in the kitchen could turn into more (as an example).

coffeeaddiction · 12/08/2019 07:09

Pre children 2/3 times per week now it's 1/2 a fortnight

Binforky · 12/08/2019 07:11

Last time I had sex was 3 years ago and as far as I'm concerned happy never to do it again as I've never enjoyed it. I should have been a nun (minus the religion).

Binforky · 12/08/2019 07:13

Oh and before 3 yrs ago every day as my ex wouldn't take no for an answer Sad

stucknoue · 12/08/2019 07:30

Not enough Grin

ShatnersWig · 12/08/2019 08:06

Once a week.

Oh, sorry, I thought the question was "how often does someone ask this question in either Relationships, Chat or AIBU?"

HappyParent2000 · 12/08/2019 10:12

How on Earth so you guys find time for it? With parenting, exercise, cooking, baking, driving, sports, playing games and sleeping I barely have time to eat!

NoSauce · 12/08/2019 10:43

ShatnersWig 😍

hereforasillygoosetime · 12/08/2019 10:44

Very rarely. I'm 36 weeks preg and have had sex twice in the last year. Before being pregnant was about once a month if that. Partner has a low sex drive, never initiates I have to literally throw myself at him to get any action and I stopped doing that a while ago because to be honest it's insulting.

itsabootyhole · 12/08/2019 10:48

Up until 4 weeks ago it was once every couple of months 🙈 I completely lost my sex drive after dd was born, she almost 3 now! Now we're having sex almost every night! I'm not sure what happened it just came back out of no where 😳

RitmoRatmo · 12/08/2019 16:13

How on Earth so you guys find time for it? With parenting, exercise, cooking, baking, driving, sports, playing games and sleeping I barely have time to eat!

Simple: ditch the baking! Grin

buttertoasty · 12/08/2019 16:16

Every day more or less

VanGoghsDog · 12/08/2019 16:30

How on Earth so you guys find time for it? With parenting, exercise, cooking, baking, driving, sports, playing games and sleeping I barely have time to eat!

No kids (his are adults), don't do any exercise really (he plays golf but he's retired), don't bake (hence no need for exercise...), 'driving'?, don't do or watch any sports (he does, football, once a fortnight in winter), don't play games but I do sleep - about 6 hours most nights.

Sex at bedtime, in the morning before I go to work and if we've not got much going on, we'll pop for a session mid afternoon too. Sometimes early evening as well. On holiday straight after breakfast as well.

lisbonholiday · 12/08/2019 16:36

it doesn’t matter how many times you poke a Johnson into a Taco anyone else throw up a little bit in their mouth?

FaerieKiss · 12/08/2019 16:36

For years it used to be every day and twice a day at weekends. Over the last couple of years it's tailed off to a couple of times per week, but we are both 50 so it was bound to happen.

notso · 12/08/2019 19:46

How on Earth so you guys find time for it? With parenting, exercise, cooking, baking, driving, sports, playing games and sleeping I barely have time to eat

SAHP. School age kids, exercise minimal, food prep done early, cant drive, does sport once a week, ditto games, sleep is for the weak. Food and sex are where it's at.

Holidayquestion1 · 12/08/2019 20:00

Never, and though I thought I would mind, I really don’t. Revelation.

The last time I had sex was 3 years ago. For years my then h was hardly interested and we might have managed it once every six weeks or two months. And that was me instigating it every single time.

We are divorced and ex moved out last April. I thought I would mind not being intimate with anyone, but the more time passes, the less I mind. Really the person I had wanted was him and I can’t imagine wanting anyone else.

However I now don’t want ex anymore either, as in many ways he was unkind. I am kind of basking in my singledom / singlehood and it’s great Smile. I have the dc and can’t imagine getting together with anyone, or particularly having anything to offer Confused.

There are lots of younger women than me as well so I can’t see anyone beating a path to my door either?

For a long time I was resentful that ex “stole” my more attractive years. Had I left 10 years ago when I should have, I might have stood more chance of meeting someone else?

However I no longer care, and it’s quite liberating.