What do you belong to? Where do you belong?

[IHeartKingThistle]

I'd love some responses on this - I'm writing a collection of poems for my MA and I'm focusing on groups of people and the sense of belonging that you get from being in a group of some kind. Apologies if that sounds pretentious - I'm trying very hard to avoid that!

Please can you tell me what groups you are part of, or have been part of, that make you feel like that, even a bit? Anything at all would be appreciated.

Brass band!
There's nothing like the feeling when you're all playing together.

@RoseyPeas oh my God I'm in a brass band too! I didn't think there was anyone else on MN!

It's the BEST feeling!

Two unions.

A political party.

A professional body.

For me it's synagogue. I rejected religion for many years, but came back to it when I moved back to the UK after years living abroad. Connecting with "my people" has been the last and best step in my growing up.

My church. I've become a Christian in my late twenties but they are all my family. Going into church feels like going home. I also feel the same about the wonderful toddler group I take my daughter to.

I'm a geek. I like sci fi, fantasy, comics and pop culture.
I was told if grow out of it (Hasn't happened and I'm almost 35)

While I don't feel rejected as such in normal society, (I have other interests and can hold full on conversations with most people on "adult" subjects) I feel most at home at events which celebrate geekdom and love of pop culture.

My first comic con was a revelation. Finally I had a group of people who I could have in depth conversations about things I'm passionate about with people who didn't judge me for liking these things.

I also feel at home in old rocker type bars playing hits from the 80s where no one cares what you're wearing.

Bezalelle sh'koyech! Yes, that reconnection is amazing. I have found that I can be an active member of my Jewish community, and still be a secular empiricist.

I belong to my Jewish community, and my Jewish community belongs to me, in a way that I do not feel with my other communities. It is symbiotic.

Running club. I'm rubbish at running, but I feel like I belong there, and I feel like I'm "being me" when I'm there. I think the endorphins help

I’m a member of:

A political party
Humanists U.K.
The National Trust (!)

With no childcare and 2 evenings out in the last 8 years, I haven’t been able to go to a single meeting or “do” for any of them.

So I can’t think I belong anywhere.

Farming community/ sheep breed society We love to moan but at the same time hilariously funny and supportive. No practical problem is too big to solve. The Beast From The East? We'll clear the roads.

No one ever asks what my community is (though they might make assumptions) but if they did I would say ‘people who have listened to The Archers for most of their lives’. And until I came to MN that community was a purely imaginary construct.

At various points I’ve been attached to creative, professional and academic associations - but they always feel ephemeral and lacking in depth.

I know I belong when I step into a bookshop or sit in a theatre auditorium - wherever I am in the world, whatever the language.

OP is your MA a generic Creative Writing thing or something more specific?

I think music is a good one. To me nothing beats the feeling of going to a gig and knowing that you have at least one thing in common with everybody else in the room.

To Wales. I lived away for a long time but always knew I would come back. Not to any specific area, or to be with any particular people, but just to be in Wales. It's in my heart.

Amateur dramatics - great fun and I met DH

Slimming group - all of us in the same boat, supporting each other

Group of friends at work who like the same kind of books, films & TV shows I do. We have a good natter at lunch etc about new stuff we've found.

Watching my favourite football team, everyone feeling the same emotion and I'm with my dad too 😊
I know DH is the same with his team.
Watching DD play her sport and chatting to parents we've known for years and to the girls too now they're older! I went for only the second time this season last week and it was lovely catching up

I write fanfiction and find solace in online communities. There's something so soothing about being together, reading and sharing ideas or giving praise and criticism that my social anxiety prevents me from carrying out in real life. Even if I'm in a writing slump or feel low I find it comforting to sit at my laptop in the quiet with a blank word document - or armed with a paper and pen in the garden listening to the gentle chug of life around me whether that be the birds on the washing line or the children playing in the garden next door - and blocking it out as I put pen to paper and begin fleshing out an idea. The thought of putting an idea out into the world, into 'my' community and letting it blossom in various ways - to listen to criticism or praise, really keeps me going.

If I'm really honest, the sense of community and belonging is a huge reason why I'm a member of my church. Faith ebbs and flows, but the people are really important to me and I know they would never let me down.

My choir is a very close second. There is an amazing sense of unity when we rehearse and perform together. I'm sure the music heightens those feelings.

In fact it occurs to me that the music at church is probably also very significant. Singing together is a powerful unifier.

British society of Dowsers..I found my tribe
Bunch of oddballs just like me...some very clever and talented people I can learn from
The Radionics society..again another tribe I feel at home with
Homeopathic groups....ditto
Static caravan owners

I feel part of books. It felt like a "home" from early age. Reading, writing, listening.

I can’t really think of much, interests-wise.

I love the family my husband and I have created, if that counts. I am a vital part of it which I can’t say I’ve ever felt anywhere else really (other than with my immediate family growing up I guess). I absolutely, 100% belong with my husband and kids and I have never felt such fulfillment.

I’ve never been anyone’s go-to friend really, always friends with everyone but no-one’s Number 1. So never really felt like I belonged in any social group.

I was in a professional choir for a long time and we did some amazing stuff. The feeling when singing together was brilliant but the social side of it I never really got to know anyone, just kind of hugged the walls!

Ooft! I need to find my people!

I'm chuffed to bits with these responses - what a variety!

Probably not what you're looking for, but I don't belong anywhere. I don't fit in with my family or home town, or in the city where I've ended up. I miss living in London, where anonymity was easy. Most people my age are parents with active lives, whereas I have health problems and a domestic situation I can't readily talk about. I've always been socially awkward but my sense of isolation is such that I no longer want to talk to anyone - but to belong to a group and be accepted amd welcomed by others would be wonderful, if only I knew how that works.

Scrabble club. A small group of genteel ladies playing scrabble in the
old town hall - tea and cake in the break.
It's home.

@ToLiveInPeace I'm so sorry that's how it is for you at the moment. Thank you for responding - I don't think I should try and write about belonging without thinking about the flip side of that.

Bellringers at my local church

Aside from ringing we socialise together a lot, also help each other out, go for walks, swap vegetables, have coffee, provide moral support in life etc.