What age do DCs go to bed without messing about?

[ThrowThoseCurtainsWide]

It's been about 2hrs since I finished reading stories with the DCs and said goodnight. They're both really really tired, but just being silly, messing about, jumping off the bunk beds, giggling. Just generally being over-silly because they're over tired.

I know part of it is because they have had their own bedrooms for a month and are now back to sharing. And that they are excited to be at my house because they've been staying at their dads whilst I've been poorly and this is the first overnight at mine for a while

But they are 6 and 5 now. Surely they must grow out of this soon? If I go downstairs and leave them to it then it just escalates to the point where they are jumping off the top bunk. If I sit up there they whisper and prat about and try to talk to me, despite me ignoring them.

I can't relax at all until they are settled. It's been over 2 hours now. I'm exhausted and broken. In tears in my own bedroom. I've literally just yelled at them to shut up and they're still making noise.

Please tell me they grow out of this soon

14. Sorry.

Oh jeez. That's a long time away.

I'm an only child. I remember going to bed she 3? Mum would read a story, say goodnight. I would read to myself for a bit and then go to sleep. I was not prepared for how totally different it would be with 2 DCs

I’m hoping 7y 5m and 6y 1m. Mine are 7y 4m and 6y.

My first thought when I saw the title was...about 10

Then I read the rest and 2hours plus of messing around and you being in tears doesn’t sound good. I mean mine mess about as in, one more story, one more hug, I need a wee, I need a drink etc, and coming down after being put to bed because they have suddenly remembered they left a toy in the car they desperately need etc etc and then wake up at the slightest upstairs noise and on and on it goes.

Have you tried story CDs? Always been a staple of bedtime here. Otherwise can you separate them?

Agree 14, 12 if you are lucky. Maybe 10 if they already have their water with them, a gripping story which they can read themselves and they are tired. Actually scrap that he's just come down to update us on what is happening in said book.

I've got an only, and he's just about, mostly, not messing about and going to bed now. He's nearly 12.

Mine are 5 and 2. Was hoping they’d grow out of it soon. The 5 year old used to go to bed nicely till the 2 year old moved out of our room into sisters room. Don’t have enough space for them to have own rooms.

11/12?

12??? Mine are 5 and 7 and go to bed with the usual grumps and so on but once I’ve said right, sleep time now, they damn well stay in bed! Am I hell as like having kids running around doing my head in after bed time.

Not sure about 14, I've been told it's more like 24.

No advice, but happy to share this...

Had laughing and messing about last night until about 1am. They're in their late twenties. On the upside, they brought me a grilled cheese sandwich at midnight.

Eldest is 11 and still pisses about until about 11. 7yo isn't much better.

No, tonight's situation has not been good. But most of that is down to me not being very well. Probably wasn't quite ready to have them here overnight, but I miss them so much.

Circumstances are complicated. We're in temporary accommodation, no chance of ever having more bedrooms. I guess I could put one in my room, but I think that would just cause more arguments.

Messing around getting ready for bed I can handle. Also the 'one more cuddle / story / drink' are fine. It's just the silliness, that only escalates as they get more and more overtired.

And them asking me to tuck them in, but then lying on their back kicking their legs so I can't... I just leave without giving them their cuddle if they do that now. DD still does it occasionally though.

I think they are finally asleep. I'm too tired to even consider the washing up. But too wired to sleep myself after all of the stress of getting them asleep

We got back late from a church social about 30 minutes ago. 9 and 11 went down no messing, 8yr old was over tired and cried when I said she had to go to bed rather than fix the blanket den in her bedroom 6yr old straight down.

That was a late night for them so they were tired but also hyped from friends and eating late so could have gone either way!

I would also use story CDs after the bedtime story. However before this - they are old enough to understand that what they are doing is unkind to you. I would give them a "talk". Firm, kind, quiet and the right amount of crossness. A family meeting even! Appeal to their better nature. Tell them that you do jobs for them, you don't have lovely play times like them because you are busy looking after them all day. Night time is when you get to do fun things by yourself eg watching tv. If they don't stay in bed they are being unkind to you and it means that you don't rest, ever. Then explain to them that their bodies only grow taller when they sleep, so by not going to sleep, their bodies won't get chance to rest, repair and grow. Then tell them what you want to happen at bedtimes. One thing mine liked at that age was my tin of rules. I would do several rules lists eg bedtime rules, in the car rules, walking in the street rules. I wouldn't put the word 'don't' all over it, I phrased everything positively. So for example, "We stay inside the bed unless we are hurt or in danger." We would read the rules every now and then. It sounds a bit strange, but my children loved discussing them, and would imagine loads of things that would happen if they didn't follow them. I would also tell them about my naughty brother who didn't follow the rules and one day x happened. So yes, I think they need The Big Chat!

I have an 8 year old who goes to bed fine most of the time (though fairly late compared to her peers) and a 4 year old who pisses about for ages. I think that the main difference is that the 8 year old can read. I don't know how long she reads for, but her bed is full of books. I'm hoping that the 4 year old will pick up reading quickly so that she can read in bed. I think she would wind down better if she was reading.

I told them in no uncertain terms that if they messed about at bedtime then it made me tired etc. They do understand, but they were too tired by that point to properly process it.

I will look into story CDs / some sort of chilled music to play at bedtime. Almost need 10mins of quiet music followed by a kid-friendly mindfulness for sleep exercise. If I'm honest I can only sleep with medication and meditation, so they might need that too (obvs not meds!!)

I have 6yo and 5yo boys so feel your pain! I too have often wondered when the messing will stop....
Some nights they are wired and bouncing around the place but if it's not a school night I just leave them to it sometimes and go down and chill out. I usually let them play for a bit with the lights on but the rule is no noise and no leaving the room. Then I go up and turn off the lights and get them tucked into bed. Usually works!!

Mines 13 and still annoys us lol. Wants food drinks and not to go ti bed. He's still up and I want to go to bed!

12yr old still dicks around until gone 10. It does my head in, I sleep far less than when my dc's were small.

He had such a good routine when he was younger too. It all went downhill around 8/9. He's just stuck his head around my door again for something 😫.

DS(6) isn't that interested in reading yet. There aren't any books that he'd want to ready that are simple enough for him to read. He will love horrible histories, but he's got a long way to go before he's at that level. He prefers maths / running around and causing mayhem.

DD (5) likes "reading" stories to her toys. She's done that ever since she could talk. Most of the time she is still just describing the pictures / re-telling the story in her own words, but that does help her to unwind.

But now they're sharing if he is tired DS will start telling her to be quiet so that he can sleep. If either of them are over-tired then everything falls to pieces. We went upstairs at 6:30 because the film finished and they were both looking really tired. But then getting ready for bed started the silliness and they went beyond tired.

Why is going to the loo (always a poo before bed for some reason), brushing teeth & getting pjs on so utterly hilarious in their minds??!!

I was going to say it’s probably easier with an only child as they haven’t got anyone to mess around with until I read Em’s comment.

Have to say we must have been incredibly lucky (or ultra strict) as our DS never played up at bedtime, straight to bed and lights out at 7pm more or less from the day he came home from hospital. Obviously allowed a later bedtime as he got older.

My 4yo never messes about - we have always been clear about expectations. Are they bouncing off of each other so to speak? If so, can you seperate even temporarily to break the habit or agree a big treat (film night?) If they can go yo sleep nicely for a week

hmm, mine are 9 and 13. 9yo always comes down for a cuddle at 10pm and then goes to sleep. 13 yo is still faffing around upstairs.

TBH in the holidays I leave them to it, but during term time am more strict.

They go up at about 9 and so as long as they are not too noisy, which they never are they can just get on with it themselves.

So OP to answer your question, about 13!

My eldest 2 definitely went to bed easily at 8/9, May have been earlier...