Have you ever received a present so shity saying thank you made you cringe?

[BlueMoonAndRedNose]

I turn 50 at the beg of Sept. A friend asked to meet me for coffee yesterday and gave me a gift, she asked me not to open it there and then, but she didn't mean to wait for my birthday either.
This friend of mine turned 50 2 years ago and I gave her a stunning Becksondergaard scarf which she has worn a lot, I see her in photos wearing it all the time.
Got home, opened the present, it is a plain little milk jug. No tag on it, no label, looks unused but old, has a small chip on the handle.
I am not usually materialistic but I think that this is a thoughtless present and nothing, or a £5. bottle of wine would have been more appropriate.

Years ago my dad (who was divorced from my mum) had told dm he would buy a record player between me and dsis for Christmas. We were unaware, but when other family members asked what to buy us she said record tokens or a record (she did know what we would have liked). Come Christmas morning and he had bought us both pink fluffy dressing gowns! Most of our other prese ts were either record tokens or records, which left me and dsis a bit 😞 so when dad rang to wish us happy Christmas mum spoke to him first and said there was a problem with our present. When he asked what was wrong she told him the fluff from the dressing gowns was stuck on our records!

21st birthday my mother was on her usual annual holiday for at least 4 weeks. She left me a card with a pair of tights.
Since I had been old enough to buy my own clothes I had been wearing jeans or trousers so only wore socks with them.
Both my elder sisters got huge bouquets of flowers for their 40th birthday's I got some of her old tea towels 2 months after.

When I was growing up some old neighbours (used to be next door or thereabouts about 15 years previously) still exchanged Christmas gifts with my family. They were always really cheap and nasty toiletries. My DM and DGM used to make sure they didn't spend much back in return, but did at least used to buy nice things (like similar products but from Boots) in the sales. It always caused much amusement on Christmas morning opening the presents to see what rubbish we'd been given this time. I think DM used to get rid of them by donating to the school tombola! When I got older I managed to press the point that the whole thing was ridiculous and we did eventually stop exchanging gifts - I think my family was too caught up in the 'must say thank you and be polite' to realise how futile the situation was!

The only other time I can think of with weird gift giving was with my BIL and I think he did it deliberately to try and get a rise out of me. He'd actually sent back/made it known he didn't like a couple of presents we'd given him a couple of years before (a leather belt and a wallet - neither of which were cheap!) and had been funny about asking us what we wanted for presents and then not wanting to get us what we said we'd like when we answered 🤷. Anyway, he gave me a copy of 'The Dangerous Book for Boys' (which I wasn't keen on anyway because I hate all that gendered children's stuff) Apart from the fact that I'm not a boy and was late 20s/early 30s at the time, I can't believe he was regifting it so he presumably deliberately bought it. Utterly bizarre. Anyway, if he was after the rise he didn't get it as I graciously accepted it (and then gave it away - not a regift - to the next friend I had who had a small child who would actually use it). Thankfully, after it descended into swapping John Lewis vouchers with him at Christmas, I persuaded my DH that it was ridiculous and we don't do presents anymore - not that we particularly have much of a relationship with him anyway!

A milk jug for your 50th?? Unless there's a backstory (i.e. something that only you as friends would understand) or you collect milk jugs, I am afraid it's a thoughtless present, and that's even without the chip!!!

A pair of black fishnet hold-up stockings from an in-law! She'd asked my late dh if I was a prostitute a couple of months before that, which makes it so, so much worse!

Sorry, your MIL asked your DH if you were a prostitute @SpamChaudFroid?! What? Is there a back story?

Aged 12 a friend went to America and came back with lovely gifts for our friendship group (there were 4 of us in a little gang)- except me. I got the airplane goody bag with earplugs and a toothbrush. Having never been on a plane, I was absolutely delighted with this gift. Now, I look back with sadness that I clearly did not mean as much to my friend as she did to me.

My mil, once gave my toddler daughter an egg cup she had clearly got second hand from the charity shop. It still had egg yolk on it.🤮

@nuxe1984 That's such a lovely idea, but if I received anonymous gifts in the post (particularly if they were very specific to me) I'd be very creeped out, rather than heart-warmed...

MrsSchadenfreude I also got nothing more than once from my ex. He's an ex for many other reasons, but this certainly contributed, especially when I'd always try to give good stuff and often things he'd asked for. I don't think you have anything to lose by talking to your DH about it.

For my 40th, people asked what my ex had got me, and I was embarrassed by their looks of pity when I said he'd got me a box of chocolates. I was long gone by the time my 50th rolled round.

I'm not materialistic, I have a tiny little wish list that my teens know about about, all small things and not expensive. It's just that given how shit my ex was generally, a birthday or Xmas gift was a least one way he could have shown some appreciation and didn't. In fact he didn't display any of the "languages of love" because he didn't care as long as his needs and wants were met.

@Mummyoflittledragon so why did you carry on bothering? That’s what I don’t get about lots of people on this thread. If people keep buying you shit gifts (or no gifts) why do you still buy them nice things or expensive things or put any effort in whatsoever? It baffles me.

My niece went to Disneyland a few years ago and promised her cousin, my dc, a Harry Potter wand. When she got home one of niece's friends went to see her, spotted the wand in her bedroom and asked about it. She gave it to her as a gift from her holiday so dc missed out. That was one of those 'resilience' lessons after dc learned the fate of her wand. I don't even think it was the loss of the wand itself iyswim, it was the casual way the promise had been broken.

Yes my mil once bought me a yellow rubber duck with a dick 😳

@gingersausage

The family member was my sibling.

I was brought up to believe I was the inferior child and scapegoat. I did everything to try to appease them. My sil is chillingly frightening and shows psychopathic tendencies. I was just ultra nice to both of them. That included gift giving at the “appropriate time”, ie when we spent Xmas together. Dh was the same. We did everything to try for them to just be nice. It ended in violence against me. We are now nc.

coffee was it a sex toy?

A gift bag half full of skincare samples from the friend who insisted on vouchers for her birthday.

Is pottery the gift for 50?

@madcatladyforever I am so sorry your mother treated you so badly. It must have hurt so much. I hope you realise you are worth more than this and have now found people who value you x

From an exP for my 21st

A grooming kit from the pound shop (you know the ones, nail clippers, tweezers, nail file, nail scissors) in a cracked case and a mixed tape. Also a 'joke' birthday card not even designed for a girlfriend, just one you'd send to a mate.

I no longer owned a cassette player. Had to borrow one from my DGM to listen to it. No romantic heartfelt songs on it with any meaning, just some shit happy hardcore type rave music.

Acted like he'd presented me with the most amazing gifts.

I'm not materialistic but I was so insulted by such thoughtless gifts & card, but it was all presented to me in front of our friends so had to act grateful.

We didn't last long.

Oh Gosh.. She could afford to go for a coffee so I'm sure she could've spent couple of quid.. And as one poster said- a lovely card would've been much better! End of the day she didn't even need to give u a present just yet, she could've even wait til after your birthday if she didn't have money just now

My BIL was a winner for this. He bought my MIL a book on motorbikes (She has no interest in them at all)
My SIL got a pot of anti wrinkle cream (least said the better there ).
And I was the proud recipient of ...a bag of peanuts. Which I couldn't eat as I was pg.

My SIL and I both received the same present from an elderly aunt. It was a Lilliput lane cottage which being pink, cylindrical , having an overhanging roof and about 6"high bore a resemblance to ...well you get the picture.
They got discreetly sent to out of town charity shops.

ArgumentativeAardvaark, not really, she's just the most truly awful woman you could ever meet! She tried to sell me a pair of very slightly used mens shoes the first time we met.

I once got an opened pack of basic, high waist panties, for Christmas from pil. As if that wasn’t bad enough, my mil said that she had tried them on but they didn’t fit her, so thought they should fit me!! I suppose it shows what they thought of me!
My “gift” went straight into the dustbin.
Even more annoyingly I had asked her what she wanted and she asked for a cashmere cardigan from M&S, which wasn’t cheap, and fool that I was I bought it for her!

Another gift they gave me was a box of ferrero roche chocolates (which she knew I hated) and when I opened the parcel she said “I forgot you didn’t like them, but their my favourites, so I might as well just have them back”!!

The In -Laws gave me a carefully wrapped present at Xmas - comprising of a collection of CD discs- collected from 'Free with the Daily Telegraph' - all six of them.The subject was'
'Isambard Kingdom Brunel's great Iron Bridges of the North'
I have no interest in him or his bridges
I was speechless. And still am

@CanoeDoYouThinkYouAre You could set the shuttlecock in jelly in a snaploc box..? Nice and easy to wrap up, won't ooze - and will feel satisfyingly heavy when your brother's trying to figure out what it is...!

@playmytune holy shit the brass neck on that woman! I hope you didn’t give them back!