Have you ever received a present so shity saying thank you made you cringe?

[BlueMoonAndRedNose]

I turn 50 at the beg of Sept. A friend asked to meet me for coffee yesterday and gave me a gift, she asked me not to open it there and then, but she didn't mean to wait for my birthday either.
This friend of mine turned 50 2 years ago and I gave her a stunning Becksondergaard scarf which she has worn a lot, I see her in photos wearing it all the time.
Got home, opened the present, it is a plain little milk jug. No tag on it, no label, looks unused but old, has a small chip on the handle.
I am not usually materialistic but I think that this is a thoughtless present and nothing, or a £5. bottle of wine would have been more appropriate.

This is why I dislike both receiving and giving gifts for Christmas/birthdays etc. One person's thoughtful is another's thoughtless. I find the whole thing fraught with social tension and expectations.

I am early 30s and get fed up of receiving and giving gifts to the extent we do! I am an advocate for everyone having a meal out together or a bottle of fizz or fancy chocs. A chipped milk jug would annoy me soooo much. However, it sounds like a regift which is even more annoying! Send her a thank you note and buy her a chipped sugar bowl for her next birthday.

What's not to get?? A simple google of that brand would show you it's a quality brand with silk scarfs selling for an average cost of £50-£60+

The point is, the scarf was given with her friends taste in mind and she knows her friend liked and enjoyed wearing it.

The same can't be said for receiving the random old chipped jug.

MY DH got me a 4ft2ft picture of our ds. Lovely, except his face was smeared in food. Where on earth was I supposed to put it???*

Why has this made me laugh so much 😂😂😂😂

The size 12 night shirt from Primark my ex mil bought me when she knew I was a size 18.
The crappy fake designer bag my ex mil bought me when I had asked for money to save towards buying a genuine one.
The foot spa ex sil bought me, I had never expressed an interest in having one, never opened it & put it straight on Ebay.

Can you see a pattern? It was always exes family that bought crap presents.

Haha this reminded me of the time my DPs aunt got me a cake spatula for Xmas with “merry Christmas and a happy new year” wrote on it. It was sooo odd, but she is so sweet it was just one of those random things, especially as I’m not someone I’d expect her to give a gift too. Tbh it’s a bloody great spatula and I use it loads.
I was peeved one time at work during secret Santa, someone got me £10 worth of scratch cards. Honestly it couldn’t have said “I don’t give a shit about you” any more than it did. Especially when the rest of the gifts were really thoughtful. I felt like shit, and so annoyed. It wasn’t even like I was new to the team.

My in laws for Christmas gave me a clear packet of toiletries. Might have been ok if
A. They hadn’t been labelled with the name of a college in Cambridge that my FIL had recently attended a conference at and been clearly the free toiletries supplied in the room

B. They hadn’t been Honey based toiletries when I’ve been a strict vegan for the 15 years they’ve known me

C. I ever used toiletries like hand cream. My in laws knew I didn’t

My husband meanwhile got a book on how to make shadow puppets with your hands. We were a bit bemused.

@Tobebythesea that is funny, being offered Time, at 26! With no kids! (?)
The grater is better!

My lovely dmil mainly shopped at garden centres. She once bought me a plastic model of a blue tit. About 4 x life size.

I'm thinking maybe the chipped jug is a clue to some sort of vintage afternoon tea she is taking you to.

Yes I once was gifted a very ordinary alarm clock. I had thought from the size of it that is was jewelry so I was very shocked and disappointed. And I cried about it later in private.

But I was also very young and I think if it happened now I would laugh and ask the giver what they were thinking!

Brilliant @CanoeDoYouThinkYouAre
( Dress it up as a fairy ? )
You could start a thread of ideas !
Might spoil the surprise though.

One if my relatives insists in giving my Dad a puzzle book - sudoku or perhaps the annual Countdown book. I think they think because he's disabled and doesn't leave the house much, that this what is What Disabled People Do All Day. I've never seen ny Dad complete so much as a crossword puzzle.

I've read the whole thread and some have really made me laugh or gasp. Obviously some are just plain awful and PA, whereas others are just a difference in taste.
But the one that stands out the most is @cultwarning - if I was your friend I would be beyond horrified that you'd left yourself without enough money for food to buy me a present. I would much rather a sincere happy birthday greeting & that you could feed yourself. Please don't play the martyr and do that again.

Everyone who seems so concerned about me spending my last £8 before pay day does not understand/ know the context. We had food in the cupboard, my DH could help me out and I didn’t need to drive anywhere. It was just a temporary sticky situation that I was far too ashamed to explain to my friend on her birthday.
Of course I didn’t tell her that’s what I’d done!!!!

Dh got (as did all his relatives) from the same person a plain white box with no writing on it. Inside there was a clear rectangular piece of plastic with a hole in it. Person said "when you open it you'll recognise what it's for".

After a very long discussion they concluded it was probably one of those wine bottle holders that balances with the wine bottle horizontal. Although it wasn't actually strong enough to hold the wine bottle and overbalanced if it actually had wine in.

Said person is the sort of person that hands over poundland presents at the same time as their gift list with nothing less than £50 on so I suppose it wasn't exactly not true to form.

OP I don’t understand why you don’t just tell her it’s chipped and ask her why she gave it to you. You are obviously bothered by it, and I don’t see the point in being wet about it.

From MIL - a pack of three Christmas tea-towels. For my birthday. In October.

Well I had a friend who was on a six figure salary, high flying job and would lavish herself with designer clothing , bags , shoes , trips abroad etc . For my wedding present she bought me a really plain photo album that I saw in the Superdrug bargain basket for 50p . I knew she wasn't broke at the time as she told me the dress she bought for my wedding cost her thousands . I wasn't offended but found it bizarre !!!

Said person is the sort of person that hands over poundland presents at the same time as their gift list with nothing less than £50 on so I suppose it wasn't exactly not true to form

I certainly wouldn't be spending money on them tbh. Gift list indeed!

Something that always makes me feel a bit sad are the posters who think there’s something better on the horizon. The snazzy afternoon tea being planned. The forgotten invitation when someone says they haven’t been invited. The surprise party when someone’s DH has forgotten their birthday.
I don’t think I’ve ever read a thread where this turned out to be the case. Deliberately misleading someone by disappointing them initially is horrible. It’s playing with their expectations and emotions.

I have found this thread so amusing, I am now genuinely delighted I got the chipped milk jug. For those of you who might be wondering, it is definitely not an antique and it is absolutely not an introductory token to another more meaningful present .

I got a cat cruet set from DH for Christmas. Apparently he didn’t know what to get me, so this was a token, and I would get my main present soon. I’m still waiting and I got nothing for my birthday either.

My aunt gave me a bar of soap for my 30th which was a bit of a surprise to say the least!