Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

How do you manage living in a noisy/crime area?

57 replies

tiredtrumpet · 07/08/2019 09:49

I apologise in advance for how long this will be, I will try and sum it up!
A few years ago DH and I bought our first home. We completely renovated it, sold it, and used the profit to buy a house we normally couldn't afford in DH hometown. It's beautiful. It's near good schools. It's a stones throw from natural walks. It's near local amenities, everything in walking distance.
Over the last 2 years, it's become a bit of a nightmare. Our car was badly keyed from some local youths. Rubbish is constantly thrown in our garden. The neighbours at the back have been having constantly parties all summer long. You can hear them in my DC bedroom when he is asleep. A faint thudding of music, people screaming, smashing glasses. There's a drummer at the back, who plays a non soundproofed professional drum kit every day from 4pm until 9pm sometimes. Again it's very audible in my dc room when we are putting him to bed at night.
We sit down for dinner as a family to the sound of drums and it sends me mad.

The area is filled with families which we thought would be a good thing, but the people round here don't seem to care about others, their kids are out screaming (seriously, what's with the screaming) till about 11 at night in the summer in their back yards, tearing up and down the street etc.

Next door (attached) moved in this year and it's awful. They bang, slam run about and SCREAM obscenities at each other. In my DC2 room you can hear everything that comes out that vile woman's mouth. She yells telling the kids she hates them and to fucking leave her alone. This is every single morning at least. Quite often it's at dinner as well so as well as sitting down to the sound of drums we are hearing next door slamming doors and screaming. I've considered phoning SS because the content is so bad.

Regular drilling and noisy work at 7am, it's not a massive problem but just shows how little people seem to care around here about others.

There's regular police cars getting smashed only a few streets away, and this week there was a mass brawl at the end of my street with over 100 youths that made the papers.
I was up at 4am today because there was someone outside shouting to be let in to the house across the road, not the resident, someone very dodgy looking.

I think I'm short it's turned out to be the wrong decision, the wrong thing to do for our family, which is a bit hard to swallow.

DH doesn't want to move due to expense, the fact we wouldn't get a house as beautiful as this in a nice area and the upheaval for the DC. He's slowly had enough though.

We can't move for about two years as we are paying off a loan that we got when we moved to this place, and I don't, for my own mental health, know how to cope with all this racket and crime.

Has anyone been through this that has tips on how to cope, or how to pay off debt fast so we can leave?

Is it worth truly spreading ourselves super thin to get a nicer area?

I feel like it's all consuming and I'm just sat waiting for the next party to start or hoping the drummer has broken his arm Sad

OP posts:
ComtesseDeSpair · 07/08/2019 11:56

Where on earth are you?? I’ve lived on some of London’s most notorious estates and they’ve been absolutely nothing like this.

It’s not really something you can manage. It sounds like you need to cut your losses and move, perhaps downsize so that you can use spare money to pay off the loan. Surely hays got to be better than being constantly miserable in your own home?

RosaWaiting · 07/08/2019 12:00

I live in a rough area so I’d thought you’d ask different questions from your title!

But it seems your biggest problem is neighbours and I think a lot of people just don’t give a shit really. Would soundproofing be bette4 than moving?

In terms of the brawl, we’ve had that and some shootings in the last couple of years. Used to be less rough. Police cuts and other factors I guess.

TwattingDog · 07/08/2019 12:05

Old Portsmouth?

MargoLovebutter · 07/08/2019 12:12

I live in a noisy area - not high crime, but lots of traffic and airplane noise and my top tip for ensuring it doesn't disturb my sleep, is to have a fan in the room at night. Each of us has a fan (just a normal desk top one) and we have them running all night long and the white noise prevents us from having our sleep interrupted by sirens, heavy lorries or planes coming in at 4.30am.

Hasn't added in a significant way to our electricity bill. It might help in the short term, while you work out what to do longer term.

tiredtrumpet · 07/08/2019 14:31

@ComtesseDeSpair I'm in the North of the UK. I've been ogling Rightmove for a while now and I've noticed many many more houses in our area going up for sale. It's usually a slow market round here as it's "desirable" but maybe others have had enough I don't know.

@RosaWaiting We looked into soundproofing but it isn't going to eliminate the noise from next door, and it's so so expensive. We already have the best double glazing so not much we can do about outside noise. I think it's the feeling of being helpless that is so horrible. I can't just shut the windows and doors, we hear the outside noise no matter what.

@MargoLovebutter We have a fan in our room already, it's a good little trick isn't it.

OP posts:
Soola · 07/08/2019 14:41

If you can hear the drums then so can everyone else around you so I’m surprised he hasn’t been reported or been paid a visit by the grotty types you’re surrounded by.

Can you rent your property out?

tiredtrumpet · 07/08/2019 14:46

@Soola I was surprised that it's gone on so long, maybe no one else has said anything, I've no idea. I can't imagine everyone being ok with it.

I couldn't rent it out and buy another house unfortunately Sad

OP posts:
Soola · 07/08/2019 15:02

You can report the drummer to environmental health.

The woman next door is going to be tricky as even if you report her anonymously she will know it’s you.

I would save save save until you can move ASAP.

I couldn’t imagine living under those hellish conditions so you have my sympathy.

confusedparent12 · 07/08/2019 15:26

It sounds awful, poor you. Our neighbours are noisy and I use custom made earplugs from an audiologist and also noise cancelling headphones at night when they have parties. We have a small amount of sound proofing but it doesn't really work.

tiredtrumpet · 07/08/2019 15:48

@confusedparent12 that's awful! I just don't get how people don't care about the impact they are having on their neighbours. If someone told me they had specialist ear plugs made because of my noise, I would honestly be mortified

OP posts:
RosaWaiting · 07/08/2019 16:13

Ooh I didn’t know you could get specialist earplugs. I tried the steel in rubber ones but thought they’re probably quite dangerous.

OP re soundproofing being expensive, is there any benefit to a more DIY approach, something temporary, to see how effective it is? I suppose the initial outlay would be a cost though.

In terms of noise, I’m amazed what’s allowed. A friend of a friend is a professional musician living in a flat. When I walk along his road, I can hear him quite far away. People have complained but to no avail.

Otter46 · 07/08/2019 16:29

Can’t you call the noise police (your council should be able to send someone around) to tackle the parties and drummer? Sounds awful.

longearedbat · 07/08/2019 16:44

I would contact the council about the drummer - that sounds horrendous.
As for the rest, with luck it will die down a bit as the weather changes and the nights get darker. But in your position I would move. Even if you have to downsize to pay off your loan. There is no point living in a lovely house in a troublesome area that is affecting all your family.

Greenteandchives · 07/08/2019 16:48

My dd used to live in a beautiful house in a shit area. Now moved to a tiny house in a lovely area and much happier.
Move as soon as you can, OP. Location is everything.

Ilikewinter · 07/08/2019 16:56

I can sympathise, we purchased our 'dream' home a few years ago but the area was awful, we ending up selling and moving to a better area but smaller house....and detached.

If I was in your situation I would do everything I possibly could to move.

Binforky · 07/08/2019 17:31

I live in what's classed as a bad council estate but other than about one party a year it's dead. Yes kids play out during the day and make noise but they all tend to be in by 8.30 at the latest. Maybe its because we can hear each others noise in the flats where I live we tend to be conscious of it.

It's not all great though the neighbours dump their bikes near my front door and drop rubbish everywhere but it's no where near as bad as I thought it would be.

I would cut my losses and move if I was you. I would move from here but no one wants to swap with me.

confusedparent12 · 07/08/2019 18:38

Tiredtrumpet I got the ear plugs originally for work and the sleep ones were an extra but they really are brilliant. The parties are not all the time but when they do happen they are long and loud with no prior warning.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 07/08/2019 19:00

I just put up with it.

I'm saving to buy a house (single mum) which I couldn't afford to do if I lived in a nicer area as rent is a lot higher. So I grit my teeth and hope I'll be out of here soon!

Somebody peed through my letter box not long ago. No idea who. Grim.

RosaWaiting · 07/08/2019 19:15

confused what are they made of please?

JoJoSM2 · 07/08/2019 19:24

Sounds horrible. I’d be out of there ASAP.

Find a good mortgage broker. It should be easy enough to get a mortgage deal based on you paying off the loan with the proceeds from the sale of your current property.

kitk · 07/08/2019 19:25

I don't mind a bit of noise, but having lived next door to junkies who constantly threw their rubbish in my garden, including needles, I couldn't deal with that again. I don't know what you can do though Sad

BigbreastsBiggerbeard · 07/08/2019 20:37

Someone else has mentioned earplugs, and whilst the ones I use are not custom made, they ARE very good. And very cheap. I wear them at night and they block out the worst of the noise and they help me to stay asleep as the noise doesn't get penetrate when I'm asleep.

Using headphones when watching tv or listening to music is something else. If they are noise cancelling ones, they may help you to at least block out the worse of the noise sometimes. Not ideal, but it's a horrible situation you're in and it's just about finding coping strategies right now.

Is there anything at all you can cut back on in your budget to enable you to pay off the loan sooner? I'm sure this is something you've thought about, so you'll have to excuse me if I'm stating the obvious. I really, really feel for you - it must be bloody awful.

RosaWaiting · 07/08/2019 20:39

In summer I have to watch TV with noise cancelling headphones.

IndianaMoleWoman · 07/08/2019 20:46

DO NOT report any noise issues as you’ll have to declare it to the buyers when you sell. I’d throw all of my energy and resources into a move - scouring more appropriate, quiet areas, detached houses preferably.

There’s no point living in a gorgeous house with intolerable noise that’s impacting on your mental health. It’s a gilded cage of sorts. Mental health is just as important as physical health - would you stay somewhere that was making you physically ill?

Ellieboolou27 · 07/08/2019 20:52

@tiredtrumpet I lived in a very "nice" part of north London but the local neighbours and gangs of youths hanging around our flats drove us to move out of London. I couldn't take anymore and although it really stretched us financially it was the best decision we ever made.

We rented out our flat and rented another property, is that something you could consider?

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.