What would you say is a nice age gap between children?

[SleepDeprived2018]

Hi 👋🏼
Our first DD is nearly 11 months - i am forever broody - however i thought we would wait and have a 3 year gap - DH would like to try again soon and would prefer a two year gap

Just wondering what age gaps other people have ...

I have an 18 month gap between my 2 boys. We were aiming for about a 2 year gap thinking it would take a few months and were surprised by how quickly ds2 came along.

It has been quite full on. Ds2 is now 7 months. But also really great. We had no jealousy at all, ds1 was so young he just accepted him straight away. He didn’t pay much attention to him for the first few months but is quite sweet with him now.

When I found out I was pregnant again I was a bit apprehensive about a small gap but I really do love it and hope they will be close growing up.

There's 25 months between my ds and dd

15 months. Very hard early on, but now they play together so well. Can't leave them alone as DS1 is too enthusiastic and doesn't know his own strength yet.

I have a 4.5 gap, didn’t intend for it to be quite that long but took a while to get pregnant with dc2. In the end I feel it was pretty good because dc1 was at school so I got to do all the baby groups with dc2 that I’d enjoyed with dc1.
Dc1 was helpful with dc2 loved doing little jobs to help me, getting nappies and wipes.

Sometimes it has been a balancing act to do days out/activities that they both like, but some ages were easier than others. Now they are 12 and 8, dc1 has started doing some activities on her own with friends cinema or shopping so dc2 and I can do what they want during that time.

I have 3 years between each but the way they all argue are the moment I feel like I should have left about a decade between them.

I thought 2 years would be ideal, but had several losses in between. So you can plan for what you think is ideal but maybe don't rely on it. If you want another child, any gap turns out to be a good one ☺️

Myrtle

Totally agree, this thread alone has 11 months to a decade and all work just as well

Also works very well just having one child .

Have loved reading everyones replys - thank you x

P.s would love to have four children 🤞🏼

For me personally i would say 2ys 9mths upwards but probably before dc1 is 3 1/2. I have 2ys 9mths gap between my first and my second and 1y9mths between 2nd and 3rd. It was much harder with the smaller gap as dc2 was still little and still needed my full attention. I wouldn't say it was more difficult due to having 3 children as my eldest was 5 when my 3rd was born and more independent so didn't need me constantly. However I do think gaps are subjective some people are perfectly happy with smaller and others with larger gaps.

We have 16 months between Ds1 and 2.

Very hard for the first few years, a bit of a blur now. Lots of running across parks after a toddler with a baby attached to my chest...!

However, they are now 9 and 10 and I wouldn’t change it at all. They are best friends, like the same things on holiday and sports. Once they got to 3 and 4 it was all a bit easier and I was so thankful to not have to go back to the nappy/baby stage.

I agree, you don’t know how long it will take so it’s difficult to plan. There’s pros and cons to both and I can see the benefit of waiting until the eldest starts school then you can do all the baby stuff alone with the second.

I do think about 2 years is ideal though if you can cope at the time. I think they are more likely to be close and you can do more activities together as a family quicker.

I have 17 months between my girls and it's been a fucking nightmare, but then they're both "high needs" children.

3 years. I have less than 18 months between 1 and 2 and just under 3 years between 2 and 3. But it does depend on the personalities of the children.

18 months and then another 18 months. Absolutely horrendous when they were babies (basically had to have someone with me all the time when had a newborn, an 18 mo and a just-turned 3 yo- because I am not good at this stuff!). But it’s lovely now. All three great friends.

For the kids - as small as possible.
For you and your sanity - as big as you’re happy with.

perhaps another factor is what the gap will mean to finances when they are older as well? Driving lessons, special birthdays, University etc for a 20 year old and an 18 year old versus getting the older one finished at Uni by the time the younger one has finished A levels.

I have a 16 and a 17 year old,and have been a lone parent for 15 years. For me having them close together has meant we had all life events together, the childminder years,primary school,secondary.Yesterday was exam day here in Scotland and they both got their results.
Next off to college and uni, they are close ,generally get on great and its worked for us,but the early years were really hard.

I think it tends to be that smaller gaps are harder for the first year or two, but there are long term benefits. What will be best for you will also depend on how you feel about different stages, e.g. some people love the baby stage and some people endure it, and also the personalities of the children that fate deals you.

I wanted about a 2 year gap because I felt this would suit us best as a family and was lucky enough to be able to plan for that (not everyone realistically can for various reasons). DD is 2 years and 2 months older than DS. Now 4 and 2. First year was a slog but after that it's been getting better and better. They wind each other up a bit but that's part of being a sibling. Usually they're great mates.

I have noticed that most people think the gap they have is perfect, so I suspect it doesn't really matter that much.

15 mins. I've had better days 😳

26 months between my girls. Now they’re 5 and almost 3 it’s a lovely gap and they’re such good mates, but I would say the first year with DD2 was much harder work than I anticipated.

My two are 17 months apart and get on really well