What would you say is a nice age gap between children?

[SleepDeprived2018]

Hi 👋🏼
Our first DD is nearly 11 months - i am forever broody - however i thought we would wait and have a 3 year gap - DH would like to try again soon and would prefer a two year gap

Just wondering what age gaps other people have ...

I think smaller age gaps often means the children are closer to each other. Bigger age gaps means it’s easier on the parents in some respects although can mean going through nappies and all the things having a baby or toddler entails for many years rather than getting it out of the way.

I feel my age gap is too large (5.5 years). Could be different genders or personality too but they don’t get on much of the time, loads of fighting, don’t like the same things. The only good thing was both getting a good crack at 1:1 time when small and me having eldest at sch when little was a baby so it was a bit easier.

I’d choose 3-3-5 years if I went back in time.

I should add that I wouldn’t choose a smaller gap than 3 years as I have kids who hate sleep and I have suspected CFS and struggle with broken sleep. To have two waking at night and all the trials of a toddler and a baby I think I’d be finished off.

@Belfastbird and @Billballbaggins I’m so relieved by your posts. I have a 23 month gap and dd2 is 8 months old. It is almost killing me!

I had almost exactly 2 years betweens DS 1 and DS2, which was hard at first as I had 2 in nappies etc. But, they were such good mates, it was brilliant. I could tell you about dragging the mattresses down the stairs, the time DS2 fell into the pond at the local park trying to save a dog who fell through the ice in winter. But, by 7yo they were both OK.

DS2 had major physical medical issues, so we waited a while, and had DS3 when DS1 was 9yo and DS2 was 7yo (same DH if you wonder lol). He was the the most fun ever, it was like having the time with the first DC, but without the scary stuff. Which, the older DC now say was one of the best times ever.

The 3 of them have a brilliant relationship, talk all the time and are really close. They are all grown and gone now, but I do miss those crazy times.

Mine are almost exactly 3 years apart (both born In same month). I’ve found it really good. Dc1 was potty trained, could feed himself, go and fetch things for me, could explain what he wanted etc when dc2 came along. Plus the funded nursery hours start at 3 so it meant dc1 could still go to childminder when I was on maternity leave so I got some 1-1 time with dc2. Once I went back to work I didn’t have to pay 2 lots of childcare in full due to the funded hours that dc1 got. This was a big consideration for us. We would have found it more difficult financially to have a smaller gap. They’re 6 and 3 now (almost 7 and 4) and I’m finding the gap really good.

Mine are 2 years apart almost to the day, I've found it to be a good gap, dd1 was old enough to entertain herself a bit when dd2 was born and at playgroups didn't need me following her around.

They're now 4 & 6 and are into the same things so days out/toys/parties are really easy to sort out.

They'll also be at the same school for a few years so the school run will be easy.

I have a 5 year gap. They get on wonderfully. Just spent 2 hours in the garden playing. The 7 year old is a fab big brother and is idolised by the toddler. Both got loads of 1:1 attention and we don’t really have the ‘can’t find things to do’ issue. Both realise (or are made to realise) that they must do something for the other. So the older one does play doh and goes to soft play to keep his sibling happy. And his sibling has to tag along to stuff that his big brother is doing. DH and his brother have a 4.5 year gap and are very close. My sister and I have a 10+ age gap and we are close as adults.

I have a 10 year old and a nearly 2 year old and it's a great gap as DD is out most of the time at clubs and school so loads of time for youngest.

Have 2.4 years between DS1 and 2 and 4.5 years between DS2 and DD WHO IS BOW 6. The first age gap was the easiest!

I would say depends how well you can cope under pressure 😂 joking, I have three children each a 2yr age gap. They're close but argue a lot it's strange! Love it though :)

There are 5 years between my boys ages 17 and 12. It's brilliant as we are getting our lives back.

@Kingtiger101 oh you’re in the thick of it, I was almost broken at that stage. Honestly it’s so so worth it and it gets easier I promise. So much easier! I think once my eldest turned 3 and started nursery it started getting easier and easier bit by bit.
It’s great now at 3 & 5 as they have similar interests, they’re very close (even if they do fight sometimes!) and I can switch my brain off more as they play and entertain each other which is cute. Hang on in there!

3 years. I have 2.7 between mine and I really feel I've missed so much of DD2s baby stage due to being busy with Dd1 who has extreme jealousy. Dd1 starts preschool in September and I'm really looking forward to having some quality 1 to 1 time with DD2 but she will be 8 months by then

Mine are a year and a half apart. It's bloody lovely now they're an almost teen and a teenager.

They generally get on pretty well, all the baby shit was over and done with quickly (although felt like never ending drudgery at the time). They both have similar interests, get on with each others friends and the older one helps the younger one with homework.

There's 4 years between me and my dsis. I hated her when she was born and was extremely jealous. My two have always had to share me and jealousy has never been a problem.

I'm considering having another DC but there will be a 14 and 15 year age gap if that ever happens!

Oh god starting to poo myself a bit. Dc2 will be 17-18 months younger than dc1. Ds is so easy atm... what have i done???

@Billballbaggins thank you thank you! My eldest isn’t in any childcare either - wtaf was I thinking! So yes, roll on 3. I’ve been feeling crap all day because I basically hate it and DD1 has become so challenging lately. This has helped me so much. Thank you!

Ds and dd are 19 months apart, earlier days were tough, especially when dh had to work away for a week when dd was a month old BUT would do it all again in a heartbeat for how we are as a family now. They're 5&7 and although they fight like siblings, they play together so well and teach each other things, have similar interests, enjoy each other's friends when they're round, have 'in jokes' and they're really close overall. I didn't plan a short gap, ds would have been an only if dd hadn't surprised us but for us it was perfect timing.

Dd is deaf so it hasn't been an easy ride by any stretch of the imagination especially when they argue in sign and end up screaming at each other when I'm driving so I can't hear who started it and honestly, you can make any gap work, but I'm glad I got all the sleepless nights and nappy stage over in one as I couldn't go back to them now, and never wanted another when dd was out of the baby stage.

23 months and its been great, even the first year was ok for us. I wouldn't change it at all. Most of my friends with DCs the same age as my oldest have similar gaps.

13 months ... and it's HARD!

But I knew it would be and I'd do exactly the same again.

I have 21 months then 28 months.
21 months easy. Both still napped.
28 months difficult! Terrible 2s have started, no naps so no downtime all day.
4 years between dc1 and dc3.
All 3 at home during 3rd mat leave was ace. No school run and the older 2 had someone to play with while I dealt with the baby.

I think 2.5-3 years is ideal.

DB and I are 3.5 years apart and we weren’t ever really into to the same things and we were 4 years apart in school so quite a big gap actually.

Mine are just over 2 years apart and as we’re approaching 2 and 4 years old it’s getting quite manageable. They’re the same sex and like similar things so it’s easy entertaining together and I can reuse everything from DC1 quite quickly.

But I think 6 more months would have given me a bit more of a physical and mental break. The early days were very hard.

17 month gap and it's a really tough, DS1 is really rough and heavy handed and I can't leave them in the same room without him throwing a toy or trying to pull things over, he has kicked the baby and tried putting things in his mouth, Had to get a cage for the mamaroo just to stop him trying to tip the baby out of it.

I had 4 year gap between first 3 , worked brilliantly, newborn , 4 year old and 8 year old then a 12 year gap . I did find listening to DS6 read then helping DD18 with a level revision strange this year! But it's all worked out well and I still manage to do stuff with both of them together

Also, the older 2 adore their little sister. She is 18months now and they have always thought the world of her, and of each other.