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Original poster

Did people give up their seats for you when pregnant?

91 replies

ShirleyPhallus · 06/08/2019 19:19

Second time using my baby on board badge today, get on the tube and ask the man sat in a priority seat if I could please sit down

Get a mouthful of abuse about how its not his fault I’m pregnant and he wouldn’t give me his seat. If he’d just said no I might have assumed that he had hidden disabilities or something but he was just being a prick.

A lovely older lady in the seat next to him berated him and several suited men standing up did too (as did I) and finally he got up then just got off the tube

Second time using my badge!! Is it always like this?!

I don’t expect people to be looking up at every stop for an pregnant woman and would be happy to ask for seats but Christ, are people this dickish about this stuff all the time?!

OP posts:

ForeverBubblegum · 06/08/2019 19:50

I live up north where people seem to be friendlier, I never asked or had a badge but once the bump was visible people tended to offer. Not every journey but about 75% of the time, if I had need to I would have asked and been confident people would have moved.

StressyDressyHeels · 06/08/2019 19:52

I only travelled on one day by public transport, I made a return journey and caught the tube a few times. I was 37 weeks so it was blindingly obvious I was pregnant.

Outward journey a couple of Middle Aged ladies clocked me and continued their chat. Which I was really disheartened with. I don’t think the rest of the passengers had noticed me, but two jumped up when my husband asked someone to give it their seat (I’m not sure they would have had I been travelling alone).

Tune was fine. Return journey on the train the ticket inspector tried to move me on from disabled seating. Again, husband said I was heavily pregnant and it was over an hours journey. Inspector then let us sit in one of the many, many, empty seats in first class.

A bit long winded but I don’t think I would have got the same response had I been travelling alone.

Teddybear45 · 06/08/2019 19:53

On the tube you are more likely to get a seat away from the priority areas - usually because the type of people considerate enough to offer you a seat tend to avoid the priority seats to begin with. It does get easier as your bump becomes more visible.

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IamPickleRick · 06/08/2019 19:57

3 pregnancies, mixed bag. With DC1 I had undiagnosed preeclampsia, I needed the seat badly, I was like an elephant and very very obviously pregnant. I had one man overlook me and offer his seat to another young lady who wasn’t pregnant but was totally gorgeous, one who raced me to a seat and then laughed, a group of ladies who sat with their laptops on the priority seat while they drank wine from those glasses you get from M&S. I asked them to move their things please and they couldn’t because they had no hands because of, you know, the very important wine.

Otherwise I was totally fine and people were very nice, the Victoria line was the friendliest, the central and circle line the worst.

OhNotNowBernard · 06/08/2019 19:58

Generally people are decent offering. But I also found older city guys the least likely. Young ‘hoodies’ and ‘grannies’ offered the most, the latter were good at shaming others to do so!

I also found teens good at helping with the buggy, and younger guys

I once had a massive pregnancy rage moment and screwed up a broadsheet at 36 weeks when a guy used my bump as a reading rest

Robs20 · 06/08/2019 19:58

Generally people always offered if they saw me. As someone who commutes on a v busy train every day (and sometimes I do get a seat because I get on at the start of the line) please please ask for a seat if no one offers. People are often reading/ on their phones etc and not scanning for baby on board badges. Sorry you had a bad experience today but generally people will always get up if you ask.

RavenLG · 06/08/2019 20:02

Not pregnant but a few months ago myself and pregnant friend went to a large concert. Public transport on the way there was heaving and no one offered her a seat not even the men we were standing next to. On the way home we were first on at our stop, a few seats available, but people were pushing her out the way to sit down, it was disgusting. She got a seat, but I had a go at the two horrible women who pushed her. I was more fuming than she was.

IamPickleRick · 06/08/2019 20:05

Yes I agree with Notnowbernard. I found that younger “oiks” would be the first to jump up and offer. Thats why the central line is awful, it’s full of city bankers and I never got a seat offered.

I had a few young crusaders who would help escort me up stairs. I do have a hidden disability also.

DappledThings · 06/08/2019 20:10

I was offered a seat all the time. I actually turned it down, politely, most of the time because I was only going 3 tube stops and it was more effort sitting and standing up again and my back hurt more sitting.

Never wore a badge though. Couldn't bring myself to do it.

Ticklemeelmo · 06/08/2019 20:22

The badge is given for the London network for anyone wondering why they've not come across it before.

I find buses the worst for people ignoring the badge. My technique at the moment is staring directly at people sat in the priority seats, but it's usually others around them who get up. Good on you for being vocal about it.

I reckon the best plan of action if that ever happens again with people arguing back is to whip out your phone and start filming them. I'll try this if I ever need to

AlexandPea · 06/08/2019 20:28

Yes, but usually only other women. The men would whip out their phones or stare hard at the adverts.

Watchingthyme · 06/08/2019 20:28

Genuinely start taking a crutch with you. For some reason people are much kinder to crutch folk

JanewaysBun · 06/08/2019 20:32

2 x pregnancies with london trains/tubes and never had an issue. Businessmen/all races and colours offer seats. I will say though i do get on and announce to the carriage that i need a seat. I think it's better to address the group rather than single someone out in case they are a twat/dont speak english/have their own disabilities/feel ill.

I will say though i gave my priority seat on the bus to a disabled person who couldnt walk far thinking i would grab a seat further back and got some funny looks when i asked although someone did get up, wasnt as polite as on the train

MakeLemonade · 06/08/2019 20:34

I’ve done three pregnancies commuting to London via train and tube and almost always get offered a seat without asking. Once or twice - normally when the trains have been totally buggered - I’ve not managed to get near the seats and have asked if I can squeeze my way through if someone wouldn’t mind giving up a seat and it’s never been a problem.

I’m so surprised at some of the experiences here, I must have been lucky. Although I do agree that men in suits seem to be least likely to offer/least observant.

Aozora13 · 06/08/2019 20:35

I found when commuting people were much less likely to offer a seat, whereas at the weekend they were happy to leap up. I also found the tube better than the train, and young lads the most likely to offer with suited older gentlemen the least likely. I would always ask if I needed a seat but would holler out “would anyone mind giving up their seat as I’m pregnant and it’s hard to stand” rather than asking an individual directly as they might need it more than you but you can’t tell from looking. Also less risk of grumpy twats having a go.

VforVienetta · 06/08/2019 20:39

I was hardly ever offered a seat on the tube, more likely if on an overground train tho.

Least likely (IME) to offer me a seat: older suited white men & women.
Most likely: young asian suited men, and women who obviously needed one themselves (had injuries/kids on laps/packages/were elderly).

I cut out the middle men and just asked the nearest able-looking person in a priority seat. My colleague gave me an excellent line, which made no assumptions about hidden disabilities -
"Excuse me, are you able to stand?".
That way no assumptions are made about well-looking people with hidden disabilities, or those who might be early pregnant themselves, as people can easily reply "I'm sorry, I'm not" and stay in the priority seat.

itshappened · 06/08/2019 20:47

Second pregnancy in London and so far my experience is the same as my first... no one ever offers! I don't ask people directly though as I'm too timid but always wear a badge. But it never ceases to amaze me how many people I see clock the badge and immediately look at their phones!

Original poster

ShirleyPhallus · 06/08/2019 20:53

I’m so glad to hear that on the whole people are decent!! Some much nicer stories on here although it sounds like most people have encountered pricks at some stage.

Fingers crossed I just had my prick experience early on!

OP posts:

Minai · 06/08/2019 20:54

Most of the time no. If I asked someone would get up but rarely unless I asked. And I was big, so quite obviously pregnant.

I remember one time I got onto a packed train at about 35 weeks pregnant. No one offered me a seat so I walked down to carriage where I could see one spare window seat occupied by a woman’s handbag. She was sat in the aisle seat so I asked if she could move her bag so I could sit down. She let out the most enormous sigh and was huffing and puffing about it for ages. Seriously

ragmayo · 06/08/2019 20:56

I never asked or wore the badge. However I'd say it's just polite to offer your seat. I had a bus full of people see me standing when overdue with twins (I was huge!!).

RHTawneyonabus · 06/08/2019 20:57

Usually no problem when commuting in London however have noticed it was always either older women or young men in hoodies that gave up a seat. Never younger women or older business men

BessMarvin · 06/08/2019 20:58

I'm pregnant at the moment and commuting into London.

The badge is really useful as it's confirms to people that you are pregnant (or they might be worried about getting it wrong and less likely to offer).

That said I'm so huge I don't usually wear it and I've had people jumping up to offer me a seat on buses, tubes and trains. Never not had a seat (so far) and never had to ask. And a good mix of men and women offering.

I have noticed people waiting on the platform can be quite happy to push in front of me to get on though.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 06/08/2019 20:59

Just to note I found middle aged men the most resistant to give up their seat !

kidsmakesomuchwashing · 06/08/2019 21:00

I had an interesting experience on the tube today I had my 3 year old holding my hand and my 3 month old strapped to me in a baby carrier. When I got on there were no seats. I watched everyone sort of glance at each other like they were playing roulette with each other to see who would cave first. It took a good two minutes for someone to cave and let the three of us have one seat!

dobedobedobedoo · 06/08/2019 21:06

2 pregnancies,neither particularly fun. Sometimes I was offered a seat. Often I declined. Pre pregnancies I thought this -I had 2 blue lines this morning therefore I will wear a badge and need your seat - was ridiculous entitled behaviour. During and post pregnancy my opinion hasn’t changed. I’ve never really understood why pregnant people think they are so special. It’s a normal physiological process, which mostly people choose to undergo.

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