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Original poster

Feeling Sad - Sitting at the Airport

87 replies

Icequeen01 · 02/08/2019 04:55

I know this is going to sound ridiculous but I’m currently sitting in an airport lounge with DH waiting for a flight to Italy for a week’s holiday in the Amalfi Coast. I am looking forward to it but am I ridiculous to be feeling sad. This is the first holiday without our DS. It’s to be expected, he’s 19 for goodness sake, but I’m watching all the people with young children and remembering back to when our DS was that age and would have been beside himself with excitement. I guess it’s just another rite of passage but even so it makes me sad 😢

OP posts:

snitzelvoncrumb · 02/08/2019 05:00

Oh sending you a big hug. You need to feel smug, not sad. You are having a child free holiday, just think of reading on the flight - uninterrupted, not taking someone to the toilet, (hopefully) no one is going to throw up on you on the flight. Kids and holidays are not a good mix. This is possibly your first holiday in many years so enjoy it.

EarringsandLipstick · 02/08/2019 05:10

@Icequeen01

I get it - I think it's normal; every new stage represents a loss of a previous stage, even though that's good & normal.

Chat about it to DH then look forward to a holiday together 💐

Original poster

Icequeen01 · 02/08/2019 05:13

Thank you and I know you are right. We will be able to explore places without DS whinging. Last year we visited a beautiful monastery in Cyprus and my DS spent the whole time waving his hand in the air trying to get a mobile signal 😀 DH has just brought me a Buck’s Fizz. I haven’t said anything but I think he knows I’m a bit emotional. I keep reminding myself that last year DS was clearly not enjoying being away with us and I think I knew then that he would say he didn’t want to come this year but now we are at the airport it just hit me.

OP posts:

Panicmode1 · 02/08/2019 05:18

Toast yourselves with bucks fizz for having raised a wonderful independent human, and have the most wonderful time with your husband. (and spare a prayer for those of us about to drive to the South of France with four children!)

FWIW I would feel the same as you!

Drogonssmile · 02/08/2019 05:22

Ah OP I can imagine I'll feel the same when mine are older! Bittersweet I suppose.
Right now however my youngest woke me up at 4.30 as he does every morning and I'd give my right arm to swap with you Enjoy and as pp said, celebrate your independent young man with your husband.

Decormad38 · 02/08/2019 05:25

Different children, different experiences. Our eldest DD is 19. The day we stopped having to take her on holiday was a blessing! She hated sand, at one point hated sun, swimming - you name it! She basically hated the break in her routine. Our youngest is 13 and is happy tootling around looking at things. I will miss taking her on holidays.

Ladywillpower · 02/08/2019 05:29

Have a great holiday OP & enjoy it while it lasts. We went through that phase, ours are late twenties now & are bringing their partners/ families on holiday with us.
Panicmode1 you have made me feel quite nostalgic, we once drove to Italy with all 5 of ours. Very happy days.

Ithinkmycatisevil · 02/08/2019 05:32

I get it. I’m dreading the day that my dds no longer want to come and it’s just me and grumpy DP. Though maybe he won’t be so grumpy without the dds there!

AnnaMariaDreams · 02/08/2019 05:35

I only have one (he’s 7 atm) and I know I’ll miss him when he’s grown up and busy with his own life. Hope you have a lovely holiday.

S0CKS · 02/08/2019 05:36

Oh i can totally understand your feelings - its hard when a chapter closes but this is an exciting new chapter for you a holiday just with your OH!
Sun sea sand sex you are the envy!

imip · 02/08/2019 05:36

I’m currently on holiday with 4 dcs - 12, 11, 9 and 8 and dh and I are fantasising about the day we can finally go on holiday on our own!

19 you say....

Marmelised · 02/08/2019 05:36

Oh my. I had exactly the same thing heading to exactly the same place 9 years ago. Well, not me, my husband. He sat mournfully in the airport, following all the families with his eyes..
We got to our hotel, the beautiful views, the fabulous room, the citrus orchard around the swimming pool, the complimentary fruit and wine in the room - he got over missing the kids very quickly!

Teacher22 · 02/08/2019 05:48

This phase will not last very long for your son when he realises that, if he comes away with you, he gets a totally free holiday. Some of my friends with adult children spend thousands of pounds a year taking nearly thirty somethings away for breaks the offspring cannot afford themselves.

footballmum · 02/08/2019 05:54

@imip DH and I are in the same boat! Currently on holiday with a 12 and 15 year old with friends who have a 12 and 16 year old who want to do nothing but play on their phones or games that are supervised by us parents!! We are having to escape to an adult only bar for an hour every night to escape!!

Enjoy your adult only holiday!

Soontobe60 · 02/08/2019 06:05

@Teacher22 I feel your pain! We booked our first child free holiday 5 years ago, to Sri Lanka. As soon as we told DD, she asked if she could join us with her boyfriend. Her argument was that as we'd be paying for a room for her he'd only need to pay for his flight!
It ended up costing us a fortune 🤣 (But we had a fab holiday).

Sallycinammonbangsthedruminthe · 02/08/2019 06:10

Airports and railway stations are the loneliest places on earth I find OP when you don;t have your kids with you.I felt like you do now before with my son and its dreadful.Waving him off to uni with a smile and cheer and dying inside quietly....its a mum thing! It is a huge adjustment to make for you and its ok to feel sad.I would look at my husband and not have to say a word he knew and gave me a cuddle.All will be well.You will have a lovey time.I would sit on holiday with a lovely meal and a nice glass of wine with your husband and raise a glass to you both for a job well done.It was so lovely after a while to have our time again,,back to when it was just me and him,Then we buggered it all up and had another child!!! 21 years after the first and somehow we are right back at the start again! Shes 8 now and I dont know what day of the week it is anymore!!! Have a lovely holiday.P.S I am in no way suggesting you follow my course!!!!

Why1990 · 02/08/2019 06:15

As @Ladywillpower said, you should enjoy the few child free years because before you know it you could be on holidays with your ds, a daughter in law and grandkids

mysteryfairy · 02/08/2019 06:18

Totally feel your pain. DD age 17 is a nightmare when she comes away with us. We have two older DSs and she’s never really reconciled to holidays since they stopped coming. We are just back from a trip without her and even though we had a lovely time I felt sad all the way through not to have any DC and kept dwelling on how amazing it would be if the 3 of them were there

vdbfamily · 02/08/2019 06:24

We are currently away with our 3 aged 16,14,13 and I am dreaming of the day it is just us. I am also remembering how painful holidays were for my mum and dad with 4 teenagers. Your post has given me fresh determination to try and appreciate t them a bit more whilst they are still holidaying with us!

Fairylea · 02/08/2019 06:29

Op I would feel exactly the same as you.

We’ve just returned from a holiday with ds aged 7 and dd aged 16 and we could tell dd didn’t really want to be with us. I think next year might be the last year she wants to come away with us. We’ve got ds for a while yet though!

Spanglyprincess1 · 02/08/2019 06:30

If it helps. My 1 year old screamed round the whole of pompei... Its huge... And yes I mean all of it!
It was hiiddeous.
Enjoy your child free holiday, you deserve it. Have nuce wine and eat late and lie in..... So jealous

MsTSwift · 02/08/2019 06:31

Our girls are lovely and great company but will be nice when just dh and I again. We somewhere with amazing authentic food options yet spent last night in a pretend American diner

TripleChocs · 02/08/2019 06:41

Aww it’s totally understandable, I realise that these “phases” we go through as a parent will never end!

My dc are 13 and 10 and I can’t stop noticing younger dc especially toddlers and reminiscing how fast it’s all gone and going...

Enjoy your hols!

Lilyannarose · 02/08/2019 06:53

I will feel that way when my younger three reach a certain age.
My eldest, now 20, never had those experiences as he's still a baby in his mind. Now I find myself longing for him to have independence and freedom and to be able to talk and make choices in life.
I find each passing phase that he misses out on thoroughly heartbreaking.
It's sort of made me thankful that my daughter, now almost 16 can experience things in the wider world, although I do miss her being little at times. It's only natural.

MaybeitsMaybelline · 02/08/2019 07:00

@teacher22 absolutely spot on!

I think we only had one holiday where DS thought it would be great to stay home, after that he quickly realised that he couldn’t afford a holiday at all if he didn’t come with us.

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