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Original poster

Feeling Sad - Sitting at the Airport

87 replies

Icequeen01 · 02/08/2019 04:55

I know this is going to sound ridiculous but I’m currently sitting in an airport lounge with DH waiting for a flight to Italy for a week’s holiday in the Amalfi Coast. I am looking forward to it but am I ridiculous to be feeling sad. This is the first holiday without our DS. It’s to be expected, he’s 19 for goodness sake, but I’m watching all the people with young children and remembering back to when our DS was that age and would have been beside himself with excitement. I guess it’s just another rite of passage but even so it makes me sad 😢

OP posts:
morningtoncrescent62 · 02/08/2019 09:23

I remember that feeling. It's a milestone, OP, and it's natural to be sad because it reminds you of the passing of the years.

Like someone said upthread, this may not be your last holiday without your DS! I've been on holiday a few times with one or both of my DDs when they were in their 20s and it's a wonderful experience to go on holiday with your adult child rather than a whining teenager!

Meanwhile, notice the sadness without beating yourself up for being stupid or ungrateful (you're neither), remember it will pass, and I hope you have a fantastic holiday.

ninecoronas · 02/08/2019 09:24

Agree with PPs...just because it's your first without him, doesn't mean there won't be more with him! I have spent a fair few holidays as an adult with my mum and they're lovely. Smile

Clankboing · 02/08/2019 09:25

He may even choose to come with you again one day. I remember that - I stopped going with my parents then later in my early 20s, I was at a loose end, and asked them if I could go along with them to France. It was a much nicer holiday which I appreciated by that point, having paid for a few of my own. You have my sympathy - my 18 year old was with us on holiday (as well as the younger ones) last week and I wondered if it was our last with him.

DerelictWreck · 02/08/2019 09:29

No to be a downer on everyone who's looking forward to the moment, but I'm 28 and still go on holidays with my parents Grin. They've not gotten rid of me yet

ineedaholidaynow · 02/08/2019 09:31

I’m in a slightly different position as DH and DS have gone off on a walking weekend, leaving me on my own at home. So first holiday without me!

Although I like walking I can’t do the long hikes DH likes to do. He would sometimes go off walking with like minded friends, but has been waiting for DS to get to the age he can do them too. And now that time
has arrived.

So I too feel a bit sad, but have box sets, sewing, gardening, wine and chocolates to look forward to Smile

We have recently come back from a family holiday, so it’s not like I am missing out. But it does feel strange.

Frownette · 02/08/2019 09:31

Aww @DerelictWreck Grin

Honestly can't remember last hols with parents, would have to think about it

Vesperia · 02/08/2019 09:32

try not to think about the wild party he's having at your house while your away Grin

Peridot1 · 02/08/2019 09:37

Our only turns 18 on Monday. We are just back from two weeks in Greece with him and two of his friends. We did the same last year. Pushed the boat out a bit in accommodation as figured they wouldn’t want to come with us again this year. Wrong! As long as we are paying they are very happy to come! Cost us a fortune but we had a great time. Even if at one point I worried they were turning into vampires. I,e not often seen in daylight!

cookieoclock · 02/08/2019 09:37

Ah I know I will feel like this in years to come. I dread the day my dd is completely independent and she’s only 1!
However we had our first holiday this year with her, and my gosh did I miss my lazy days relaxing on a sun lounger.
I’m sure you’ll go away with him again. We often go with my parents and I’m in my 30s.

UniversalAunt · 02/08/2019 09:51

Understandably, a poignant moment.
Reflect, count your blessings & enjoy your holiday.

Buck’s Fizz for breakfast?
I say, what a hero!

HazelBite · 02/08/2019 09:53

The wonderful feeling when we managed to get away on our own after 19 years, it was only a weekend, but it was wonderful.
4 DC's with no-one to look after them, meant we never got away on our own in nearly 20 years!

billybagpuss · 02/08/2019 09:56

OMG reading all these replies I must be the worst mum in the world, we had our first child free holiday last year (long haul) and it was amazing. No bickering, no having to compromise on stuff to keep them happy, more disposable cash. There were a few moments when I really missed the dog but other than that it was such a great holiday.

I will admit for about an hour it felt very odd, but I quickly got over that.

TalkToMeAboutSocialWorkPlease · 02/08/2019 09:59

There were a few moments when I really missed the dog

GrinGrinGrin

Ratonastick · 02/08/2019 10:13

My Dad was in a mournful tizz about him and mum going away without us this weekend. He is 84, I am the youngest at 48! Mum text about 10pm last night to tell me that they’d drunk lots of champagne and were having a wonderful time so he clearly got over it!

Chocolatedaim · 02/08/2019 10:15

Oh just think about all the limoncello and tiramisu you will be able to eat without looking at a teenager glued to his phone! 😆 I’m very jealous right now

LadyRannaldini · 02/08/2019 10:16

The first time we went away without our two we were at the airport watching families with stroppy teenagers etc and could barely keep the smiles off our faces!

Etino · 02/08/2019 10:19

Congratulate yourself on having a fledged son and have a super time.
Flowers

Dowser · 02/08/2019 10:19

The first year our daughter refused to come to France with us, she was 17, I cried all the way to the A1
60 miles away
Her dad said, shall I turn back?

LadyRannaldini · 02/08/2019 10:19

OMG reading all these replies I must be the worst mum in the world

No, you may have the silver but the gold's mine! These are the sort of Mums who will starring on these pages as awful In-laws in a few years time.

From the day your child is born you are learning to let go, the worst kind of parents try and stop it happening.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 02/08/2019 10:21

We've just got back from our first child free holiday in 25 years and it was sheer bliss.

Orangecake123 · 02/08/2019 10:23

OP your feelings are valid and it's okay to feel sadness.

I hope you have fun in Italy.

Flaskfan · 02/08/2019 10:24

My 7 yr old talked at me for 4 hours on the way home last night. Can't wait for chilled holidays again!

ssd · 02/08/2019 10:26

I know exactly what you mean.
This is the first year of us going on holiday without the ds's.
We went to a lovely spa hotel in England and all I could think was that the boys would have loved the pool when they were young and why didn't we ever take them there.
You spent all the time they are young wishing for a break, then when you get the time alone you really miss them, as you know you'll never get them back like that again.
Flowers

ineedaholidaynow · 02/08/2019 10:28

Lady they have actually gone on holiday without DC, so are letting go.

You can feel sad without being a monster MIL in the making.

Original poster
Icequeen01 · 02/08/2019 10:30

Wow, I can’t believe how many replies I have got and you have all made me feel so much better, thank you. I expected people to say my reaction was odd!

To those posters who asked why on earth we would be going away during the school holidays it is, as a couple of posters guessed, because both DH and I work in a school!

I’m not sure if it was fate but on our flight we sat next to a little boy who was 6. His mum was in the row opposite looking after two other children. This child was a delight and made us laugh so much and we chatted to him through the whole flight. It was just like having our DS with us at that age Smile

I’m still missing DS but we are currently sitting in a coach in Naples waiting to be transferred to our hotel. We have been waiting around 15 minutes for the coach to leave. I know if our DS has been here he would have been whinging and whining so I keep reminding myself of this and recognise how much more chilled DH and I are at the moment.

OP posts:
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