Can I ask on my invitation for no presents?

[thinkingcapon]

Does anyone actually stick to this rule even if it says on the invite not to bring anything?!

Am I being a bad parent by not wanting my son to have loads of presents......he's 3....will he have a meltdown because there aren't any?! I don't think he'll even notice

I’m not sure if this is useful to you - our baby girl is only 5 months old but we’ve already decided that at birthdays and Christmas’s we will also do the same asking for no presents. We have opened up a savings account in her name that we are more than happy for people to put money into for a later date when she actually needs things! We are lucky enough to be able to provide everything she needs as and when it’s required and do not have the space to store an abundance of toys (that, let’s be real, will only get played with once and then forgotten about) x

For adult relatives, I think more or less fine - just say no presents as you’re running out of space. Some relatives will probably be disappointed not to be able to choose him something, though.

But if this is a birthday party for his little friends then personally I think that presents are part of the experience for all of the children. It’s tradition to take a gift to a party and not doing so takes part of the joy away. And a lot of people won’t want to turn up empty handed so will bring something anyway.

But entirely up to you to request it.

Maybe request that they bring a book? They still get to bring something but you don't get laden with tons of plastic crap.

Honestly if I see the no presents request for a kids party I still buy sweets, colouring pencils and a colouring book or similar.
Giving gifts to friends is a social nicety, it's being kind and helping to teach it's just as important to give as it is pleasant to receive.

With family children I pay for an experience or take them for a day out.

I don't like being asked up contribute to savings accounts, providing is the parents job. I'm assuming the other poster isn't planning on asking classmates to put in for their friends future house deposit!
I will contribute if older children are saving up for something in particular though.

Aw God, I do so hate it when parents ask this. It's just so bloody joyless.

And no, toys generally don't get played with once, and then forgotten about. A well chosen gift can provide pleasure for years.
I would not be happy if asked to top up a kid's savings account (a parental responsibility), as opposed to buying them a present. Awful, sorry.

Yeah I'm not contributing to anyone's savings account! It's different if an older kid wants a new bike or whatever so needs cash for that.

Gift giving and receiving is meant to be fun!

Let him have the presents. You can always pass them on if you don’t want them.

Absolutely! And not just stuff that they 'need'

I know this might make me sound cheap, but it's possible to find nice gifts for classmates/friends at really reasonable prices - or even regift something (in the past DS has had duplicate books for example) but if I had to contribute to a savings account, I wouldn't know how much to put in. £5 sounds miserly and £10 is too much some months.

I'm creative with presents on a budget 😆

After about 10 years it’s usually £10 in a card anyway.
He may not notice lack of presents at three, but unless you are not planning buying presents for parties he attends he’ll twig pretty quick that’s the norm and will want them.

@LemonadePockets

Oh, how very fucking virtuous of them. Bore off!

Teaching children about giving other people gifts on their birthday and understanding the day is about someone else etc is important. Hard to do that with a bank transfer.

I hate to rain on the toy parade but I'm with the OP here. Kids have got so much plastic tat (and let's face it, that's what most of it is) they don't need more. I do agree though that present giving is customary and is difficult to get around without offence somewhere.

Perhaps you could ask for a pound towards a toy that he is saving for on his party invitations instead of presents? Phrase it well and people wouldn't feel offended, a pound isn't a grabby amount, it saves unnecessary tat ending up Unplayed with and ultimately in landfill, and as a parent I would be more than happy to oblige if my child had a party invitation with that request. Plus removes the need for me to source a suitable present!

I have recently read about a “fiver” party where a fiver in the card is all that was required if someone wanted to give a gift. Another option is “coin in a card” where £1-2 is taped in the card and child can choose a collective gift.
Just ideas!

Saying no gifts because they dont need anything then asking for cash into a bank account LOL

Stop sucking the joy out of your young children's lives fgs

Thanks for all your replies

2 reasons for no presents from my side -

1. He'll be totally distracted by them and not pay any attention to his party

1. He needs absolutely nothing , he's got so much already and I wanted to teach him not to be grabbing. I hate going to parties and seeing tables of gifts spilling off the sides which won't be ever opened or used. I know I'm probably just going to suck this up

Aren't I?!

And can I just add that I would never ever ask for money.

We had a whole class party when my DS was 5. I would never ask for no presents but must admit that seeing a table with 30 presents on did turn my stomach.....
We opened a few at a time for a couple of days & then 'forgot' to do the next batch. I saved the ones that I knew he'd play with & took the rest to the charity shop.

Also we rotate toys. Dd gets a couple at a time and the rest are saved for when she starts getting bored then a few more come I'm and some get hidden for a while. Took her almost 6 months to get through her last birthday toys and in the mean time we didn't buy any more toys.

I really struggle with this too. DD is only grandchild on both sides and gets so much from very generous relatives. Her room is overflowing.

Her birthday is coming up. When people ask what she needs, I’ve been saying “nothing” and when asked what they can get her “as little as possible”.

We’ve massively cut down the numbers for her birthday party too, to avoid the overwhelm of 30 presents.

I don’t want more stuff but I’d feel like the Grinch if I said no presents on the card.

However the people you invite may also not be into plastic tat - i would not ask for no presents. agree it sounds joyless, and it is not the norm.

We went to a party where the host asked for a gift for charity the family support. I still took a small gift for the child too. I honestly prefer the host to have some items that the child will like/use/appreciate.....so tell me they like painting but have run out of red paint, or they need some socks, or they love bath time so something for the bath. My kids best presents from friends -which I didn't ask for - were a fleece blanket (we had plenty but this has become a favourite and is still used daily 3 years later), a fleece jumper from a supermarket but very pretty and worn loads, my son was given shorts and t-shirt set....etc etc....