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Original poster

Advice needed

37 replies

Blueeyedmale · 30/07/2019 07:27

I've got an issue with my ex partner I had a contact order in place then moved in with my new partner unfortunately my ex then decided to stop contact problem is my new partner had issues with domestic violence her son got taken into care and with her social services involment I'm now worried that social services will say I can't have overnight contact at this address my son is my priority and I trust my gf 100 per cent but I'm concerned any advice would be most helpful

OP posts:

Footle · 30/07/2019 07:44

Why do you trust her if her son has been taken into care because she's violent? What would it take to convince you that your child isn't at risk?

Original poster

Blueeyedmale · 30/07/2019 08:14

Ive seen no evidence of this she's a kind and caring person like I said I have to put my son first and I will just like to know what could happen

OP posts:

Soola · 30/07/2019 08:17

Her own son got taken into care and now you want to bring your son into her fold?

Unless this is a miscarriage of justice widely backed up by many other people and not just her saying it was unjust, I would be very wary of letting your son near her.

Your ex is trying to protect your son as it seems you aren’t.

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Relationship problems

Silvercatowner · 30/07/2019 08:19

Ive seen no evidence of this

Her son was taken into care because of DV - how can you not 'see' this??

hidinginthenightgarden · 30/07/2019 08:22

Well yes, if she is deemed a risk then will not be allowed at that address. If you try to fight it and stay with your GF, SS could impose further restrictions such as supervised access depending on what she was accused of.

LIZS · 30/07/2019 08:22

I wonder if your ex has had advice from ss or police. Priority is to safeguard the child, contact with your new partner with a history of dv so serious their own child was removed is a huge red flag. What "evidence" are you looking for?

Original poster

Blueeyedmale · 30/07/2019 08:23

My ex trying to protect my son really is that my own son got put on the child protection register because she cheated and got with a violent alcoholic and was trying to do everything to protect my son I'm asking for advice not a witchhunt

OP posts:

Singlenotsingle · 30/07/2019 08:23

You need to get a place of your own, not just move in with some random woman. Especially one with a history of violent behaviour.

LuckyLou7 · 30/07/2019 08:24

I don't think you should take your son to your girlfriend's house. Your child needs protection and although you trust your girlfriend 100%, the fact her own child is no longer with her, should be ringing alarm bells. It's a safeguarding issue isn't it?

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 30/07/2019 08:24

What the hells wrong with you. Her son got taken away, that’s all the evidence you need.

PurpleWithRed · 30/07/2019 08:27

What hidinginthenightgarden said - if ss deem her a risk your overnight contact may be stopped.

Original poster

Blueeyedmale · 30/07/2019 08:32

Thanks for those of you that give freindly advice but there has been some rude and judgemental comments here shame

OP posts:

whingeygingy · 30/07/2019 08:35

Sorry but social workers make it up as they go along! Thousands of parents started their own support groups because of it. They have their own agendas is child 13 ? Pedos get in less trouble over it!

Soola · 30/07/2019 08:39

When you ask for advice you get replies from people giving their opinions.

Just because you don’t like the opinions doesn’t make them rude or judgemental.

If you only want to get advice from people who will reply telling you what you want to hear then go and post on the website Sycophants R Us.

If you ask for advice on here you will get just that. So suck it up if you don’t like what people are saying.

Original poster

Blueeyedmale · 30/07/2019 08:39

My son is 12 I'm just trying to do the right thing by him I'm not putting him at risk I will accept what social services say I hear people having a go at me but my ex put my own son at risk and I'm not hearing anything about this sounds like I'm going need a solicitor

OP posts:

Original poster

Blueeyedmale · 30/07/2019 08:42

Soola any comment about my ex still wanting to protect my son ?

OP posts:

Soola · 30/07/2019 08:46

@Blueeyedmale any comment about your ex protecting your son?

Well you didn’t mention in your op that she had gone on to have an alcoholic partner so my original reply is based on the information you provided.

Poor boy involved in all of this. Parents splitting up and then both moving on to be with unsuitable partners instead of putting the boy first.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 30/07/2019 08:47

I don’t think a rational adult says “yes I may be putting my son at risk but so is his mother”...you both have lovely taste in partners.

Honestly just step away from this relationship

LIZS · 30/07/2019 08:53

Maybe your ex has heeded the warnings of having a relationship with someone with history. How much do you really know of your new p circumstances?

Original poster

Blueeyedmale · 30/07/2019 08:53

I'm letting social services do the checks and I will walk away if I can't see my son and I am a really good parent so please don't judge me and try to make out it's ok for my ex to put my son at risk but I'm doing it just like too add that my new partner will not see my son until these checks are done

OP posts:

Original poster

Blueeyedmale · 30/07/2019 08:55

There was a lot of accusations both ways she said her ex partner was violent he claimed she was violent she claimed he was violent to his son geuss I will find out

OP posts:

isabellerossignol · 30/07/2019 08:58

there has been some rude and judgemental comments here shame

I'd love it if society was far more judgemental about domestic violence, instead of minimising it.

whingeygingy · 30/07/2019 09:03

Family who started parents against injustice online group went to family court leaving boy and girl with grandparents came back and police and social workers had taken them!a fraudulent letter from doctor claimed children had been removed as he was of low intelligence.he never saw that doctor and told police who never did bigger all about it🤔

Soola · 30/07/2019 09:05

That’s great that you’ll split up with her but you must understand that most people will not understand how you wanted to be with someone in the first place who had their child taken away due to domestic violence?

That would just be a huge no ad to getting involved with them.

Soola · 30/07/2019 09:05

ad means as

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