Advice needed

[Blueeyedmale]

I've got an issue with my ex partner I had a contact order in place then moved in with my new partner unfortunately my ex then decided to stop contact problem is my new partner had issues with domestic violence her son got taken into care and with her social services involment I'm now worried that social services will say I can't have overnight contact at this address my son is my priority and I trust my gf 100 per cent but I'm concerned any advice would be most helpful

My ex and F to my DC once entered into a relationship with a woman who had had her children removed from her care and I ceased all contact between them as he wasnt willing to see them without her.
No sane parent would allow their DC to be in the care of a person who has had their children removed from their care.

No sane parent would allow their DC to be in the care of a person who has had their children removed from their care.
This
I also don't see what's attractive about someone unfit to look after their child due to risk of violence. The court prices to remove a child is long and arduous, they must have had a lot of evidence that the child was either unsafe, abused or very neglected. Ask yourself why do you want to be with someone who would treat a child that way.

The thing is OP you keep reiterating you will see what SS say but they have already spoken by taken her child away.
You are desperately searching for an ok here and you will not find one.

Putting your child first would be not entering a relationship with anyone right now.

Putting your child first would be wholly concentrating on their needs for safety and security given the mothers failed relationship with a violent alcoholic.

Putting your child first would be not thinking about anything other than the child.

Your needs for a relationship do not trump those of a vulnerable child who in all likelihood desperately needs a stable and steady home life.

And if you ignore all this and decide you do indeed require a relationship, then it certainly shouldn't be with someone whose child has been removed from the mother because they were at risk...

Its possible the child was taken in to care because the exp was violent and OP's p failed to leave the relationship. This happens, however it's essential to find out before your son is around her. I understand the boys mum stopping contact in the mean time. Yes it's possible ss will get involved op it really depends on the circumstances. Lots of people have children taken in to care at a bad time in their life then go on to be very successful parents however lots of people are also in denial and lie about the reasons. It's important you find out which it is. Ideally that would have been before you moved in with her...

I hear all the messages my partner is allowed supervised contact with her child I can only go on what I have been told it took me months and months of child protection conferences and meetings to get him to where he is today and social services praised me for being a responsible parent I'm not going lie I don't have all the facts perhaps I've been a bit nieive bit I'm a good dad to my son

I know you think I’m harsh but the world is full of women, but you only have one son.

I would prioritise my son over this woman.

The fact she's seeing her child but it's supervised it's worrying. They still have major concerns despite the fact she is no longer in the abusive relationship.

What I mean by this is it's still an ongoing issue and concern not a historical one that's been moved on from as I thought it might. Is there any talk of her regaining custody of her child in future?

You hear the messages but are not listening. Whatever has happened she is not allowed one to one access to her own child, why would you choose to expose your child to any risk?

Family courts are not long and arduous.more like pedo teacher pretending he's forced to make a fuss about nothing calling a meeting with other teachers who haven't met children and are only there to put the boot in!another underaged bonkable for Mr creep another wad in dodgy social workers back pocket!

Blue listen carefully. You are hearing her side of the story. I come into contact with people who are in a similar situation to your partner. I can tell you that every single one of those says "I only " They all have a reason why it couldn't possibly have been anything they did.

They'll tell you they only said "don't do that again sweetie" or broke the window while closing it, while the children were staying with the grandparents, or were protecting the children against and happened to be holding a butter knife because they were buttering bread and weren't threatening anyone....

I also know from talking to people on the other side, that ss/funding and foster carers are so short that they can only even look at the gravest cases.

There is absolutely no way that the children have been taken away and only supervised contact allowed because she was "just protecting" them. There are major concerns there.

Please don't go on "what she's told you". Often the parents can sound plausible-often because they believe it themselves. They've discounted the ongoing issues that are the real reason for the children going into care, because to acknowledge them is too much for them to realise actually they were the problem.
And they can seem charming on their own. loving parents, totally looking out for their children. but it's only a snapshot of the situation. The fact is that they are deemed to be a risk to their child.