Help me grow a pair-need to let cleaner go

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Hi,

Just looking for some wise words on how to soften the blow. Quick background, house is quite big, 4 children, puppy and two busy working parents. Housework was always last on the agenda so my husband suggested we got a cleaner for two hours a week.

After much searching I found one and she does a good job but.....she does three hours instead of two which is reasonable due to the size of the house but is more than we budgeted for. It’s lovely when she has been but doesn’t last long with pup still training and young children who spill things.

It’s got to the point where I don’t think we can justify the expense when we don’t get the full benefit. I need to let the cleaner go but I feel really bad, she has had personal crisis after personal crisis and is having significant financial issues. I know this as she is very open and tells me all about it. She is a lovely woman and I feel awful kicking her when she’s down. For an easy life I would like to keep things as they are but I know this would be for her benefit rather than ours.

How do I best word this, I don’t think she’ll take it well

It’s lovely when she has been but doesn’t last long with pup still training and young children who spill things.

Why not suggest she only does bits that won't get trashed by the kids and the dog then? Your bedroom and bathroom(s). She can go back to 2 hours.

I would just be honest and say that it's not her but having a cleaner hasn't worked out as you thought it would.

unless you would actually find 2 hours okay, in which case, go for that.

You are not a charity, you are paying for a service. Having said that, give a month’s notice and see if any of your friends need a cleaner.

A large house with 6 people in it and a puppy .....and you expect someone to clean it in 2 hours ? You were very optimistic to expect anyone to achieve a good clean in that short amount of time. And the fact that it doesn't last long with pup in training and children who spill things is not the cleaner's fault !

Fire her if you like, but I do think that you were expecting miracles for your money.

Can you give her the choice? Say you can’t afford 3 hours, just 2, and you understand that means she could only clean a few areas in that time. Then let her decide whether to keep you on or not.

Just tell her you only want 2 hours worth because that’s all you can afford and five her certain areas to concentrate on?

Give, sorry !

As much as it doesn't last long, if it never gets done then it will be horrible. I would suggest you either cut her to the 2 hours and discuss with her what she can reasonably manage in that time.

If it just the money, then yes let her go with notice.

Will she iron? I hate it, also cleaning bathrooms 😫
Tidying isn’t a cleaners job, so maybe you’re feeling as though it’s not worth it in that sense?
Ask if she’ll iron your ironing basket and clean bathrooms once a week. That should save you hours.

I too think you were very naïve to think anyone could clean a 4 bedroom house in 2 hours. Not a chance.

If you just want her to do two hours (I have a big house with teens and dogs and my cleaner can’t get it all done in four hours) then prioritise - if it was me I’d have her only do bathrooms and kitchen and then vacuum the rest if she has time.

Can she not just clean the reception areas?

I wouldnt have anyone cleaning my private space, so that discounts one bedroom.

"where I don’t think we can justify the expense when we don’t get the full benefit."

This doesn't make sense. Why are you not getting the full benefit?

Just return to 2 hours.

You are focusing on the wrong problem here I think. I think you are blaming the cleaner for the fact that the house doesn't stay clean, because of the puppy / children.

Which is a totally separate issue!!

Do you not want her at all or do you just want her a bit less? Our cleaner does 1.5 hrs per week and does the bathrooms and kitchen. Those are the worst bits, the rest I can just about keep on top of myself.

It might seen that the place is soon back to how it was, but you'd see a big difference without her. Because underlying the untidy bit, your house is clean.
It's the clean thing that's important, and that I notice as a difference with having a cleaner.

In your place, I'd go back to two hours, but focus it on the areas that most need a thorough clean. For me, that's the kitchen, bathroom and living room. The bits I use most/see most. My cleaner does those, hall stairs and landing, plus one of the bedrooms (the latter on rotation) and that's her two hours.

Things can get really hectic for 2 full time working parents, it sounds like you & partner are really doing a good job providing for the kids and family. I honestly think the Kids need to be gradually schooled/taught how to clean after themselves, it'll help a bit.

There really is no difference between 2 & 3 hours of cleaning, since the cleaner does 3 hours cleaning that you're really satisfied with.. ( but the house gets messed up by the dogs and kids quite soon after ), if you send her away who's gonna do the cleaning? You? The Kids?
I'm not judging you or telling you how to train your kids, but I learnt a lot of domestic cleaning after myself as I grew up. I learnt to take my plates to the kitchen and wash after eating...reluctantly, but I started from somewhere. My mom worked full time in Finance for about 38 years and had 6 kids. Kids learn fast and since you have 4 it'll be fun and competitive to have them start doing little house keeping. My thoughts...

It's really wrong of her to be booked for two hours and unilaterally decide to do more without any discussion and expecting you to cough up.

However you are being unfair saying it doesn't stay clean long. It won't. You have kids, adults and a puppy! That's not the cleaners fault.

Your OP doesn't make sense to me. She presumably cleans bathrooms, toilets, floors and gives the kitchen a good clean? Do you ask her to change bed linen, clean out the fridge and kitchen cupboards and dobthe essential ironing. Who is going to do that if she doesn't? You, or your husband? With two adults working in a large house you need all the help you can get.

Just tell her you only want 2 hours and agree what she focuses on in those 2 hours, i.e. not the entire house, just the bathroom(s), kitchen.

I’m a cleaner. Firstly she should be doing the hours you said. Despite the house needing more she should just do the two hours.

Secondly if you let her go do you have the time to cover what she does. You may not see the benefits for long of what she does. But you will get no benefits when she goes. Things pile up quick in a house that busy. Can u Cover it yourself.

Sounds like you need to train more than your puppy if the benefit of having a clean home is destroyed within hours of it being done.

As others have said if you get rid of the cleaner who is going to take over what she currently does or are you going to go back to just ignoring it all as before?

Ours comes for 2 hours a week. 4 bed house - she does the kitchen (it's big), dusts (including the blinds) and hoovers the living room, does the upstairs bathroom, hoovers the stairs and all the bedrooms. She doesn't get time to do anything else in two hours, I would love to have her come twice a week. I've been here when she's been working and she never stops.

Thanks for all your replies, some really good points in there.

For some clarity, I am absolutely not blaming the cleaner for the dirt that follows her visits, I was just trying to show that she does an excellent job but it doesn’t last long due to us living in the house. I don’t mean it’s destroyed but it only takes a child having some toast for crumbs to appear, the dog to run in with a tennis ball from the garden that’s rolled in the dirt before I catch it or four children cleaning their teeth to get toothpaste on the sink to take the shine off the place quickly. As a family we will all muck in to help out with clearing up spillages etc but whilst the kids do their best it’s not to the same standard as an adult.

We continue to do all our own laundry, ironing, clean out the fridge, freezer and cupboards and cleaning the oven and hob. We do the dishes, bins and keep the place tidy. She never has to tidy to find the surfaces to clean. She will dust, vacuum, mop and clean the bathrooms and kitchen.

My children are aged 5-11 and I thought I’d trained them fairly well so far but perhaps not. They strip their own beds, put their own clean clothes away and they work on rotation in clearing away the dishes, loading and unloading the dishwasher, setting the table, putting on the clothes washing, sorting out the clean laundry into piles and are responsible for keeping their own rooms tidy.

I still vacuum, mop, dust and clean the bathrooms and kitchen in between her weekly visits and my husband and I will do more of this if we let her go as we did in the past. It’s just previously I sometimes turned into a screaming banshee to get it done and it’s a lot less stressful knowing the cleaner will be coming and everything will get a good clean even if we don’t get around to it.

I agree we were very naive to think two hours would be enough however I said at the time that two hours of anything would lessen the load on us and whilst I did say to her to stop after two hours and point out my priority areas I think she has pushed it to three as she has high standards and doesn’t like to leave anything undone.

I have considered having a conversation to absolutely state not to go over the two hours and reduce the rooms she does or perhaps to move to fortnightly and have her for four hours then instead but I can’t decide what option would be best or just to bite the bullet and not have a cleaner at all.

As a cleaner every two weeks is problematic. I would have to find someone else who only wants every two weeks to fill the other spot. So I don’t think I would agree to that.

If u think she is useful have a chat. Set out the bits you want her to do. If she still insists on going over I would find someone else.

I clean lots of houses that need more hours. Sometimes I see dirt or stuff that is just building up and up. I have high standards and hate not leaving a house clean. .

Ultimately it is what ur happy with. I understand how things with kids etc gets so messy. I clean four hours a day for a lady ... four days a week. She has lots of kids , tons of animals and works full time. I can leave that house every day with it looking sparking. Next day the kids have hit. The dogs have been in and out. The toothpaste is everywhere. But. It is clean when she comes home.

It’s about your time. And what’s important to you to do with the time off that u have.

I clean four hours a day for a lady ... four days a week.

Oh god I would love to be able to afford this, it's like a dream!