Help me grow a pair-need to let cleaner go

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Hi,

Just looking for some wise words on how to soften the blow. Quick background, house is quite big, 4 children, puppy and two busy working parents. Housework was always last on the agenda so my husband suggested we got a cleaner for two hours a week.

After much searching I found one and she does a good job but.....she does three hours instead of two which is reasonable due to the size of the house but is more than we budgeted for. It’s lovely when she has been but doesn’t last long with pup still training and young children who spill things.

It’s got to the point where I don’t think we can justify the expense when we don’t get the full benefit. I need to let the cleaner go but I feel really bad, she has had personal crisis after personal crisis and is having significant financial issues. I know this as she is very open and tells me all about it. She is a lovely woman and I feel awful kicking her when she’s down. For an easy life I would like to keep things as they are but I know this would be for her benefit rather than ours.

How do I best word this, I don’t think she’ll take it well

It’s just previously I sometimes turned into a screaming banshee to get it done and it’s a lot less stressful knowing the cleaner will be coming and everything will get a good clean even if we don’t get around to it.

Surely that in itself is reason enough to keep the cleaner?

I have a cleaner. Large 3 bed terrace, 3DC, I work full time and study part time and DH is disabled.

She does 4 hours a week. It makes a huge difference. Yes the DC drop and spill things, but with my cleaner doing a real deep clean every week (as in, everything is pulled out and hoovered under, she sorts the fridge out, she puts the online food shop away, changes all the bedding), I find the daily stuff far easier to keep on top of, as it’s only daily stuff that I have to do when I get home from work.

DH does all laundry related stuff barring the bedding as he can’t physically do that.

Eldest DCs do the dishes and keep their rooms tidy.

Well, they let us surely that you need to talk to her and see what she thinks.

Would she rather get paid for 2 hours a week, 4 hours a fortnight, or find another client entirely? Or 2 hours one week, 3 hours the next, on an on-off pattern, or something else she could suggest - e.g. a monthly deep clean on a weekend.

If it’s 2 hours only, what will she prioritise and what gets dropped?

Unless you really can’t afford it, I’d probably stick with 3 hours! I think you do ‘get the full benefit’ but it’s just that the benefit doesn’t last as long as you’d like so you’re not sure the value for money is worth it to you. Personally I’d be making a rota if the cleaner went and insisting DH did more. If your DH is happier with the cleaner then keep her on.

I’d cut something else and get her twice a week! The day she cleans us also important, if she cleans on a Friday it’s not going to look good for long, on a Monday (if you’re all out) it’ll last longer.

I’d cut something else and get her twice a week!

Actually, this is a good idea! Twice a week due 2 hours each time - just pay for 4 extra hours and feel the benefit longer.

"I was just trying to show that she does an excellent job but it doesn’t last long due to us living in the house. "

This is of course true. But is a different problem. Which we all face!

As @Herocomplex and @NoSquirrels suggest exanime your budget carefully and see what you can trim. I would request she does 2x2 hrs a week IF you can switch things round.

There are two things I would do whatever it takes to be able to afford to maintain - childcare and a cleaner. Like you we have a large house and I have 3 children under 4. Because we are both between jobs atm we can’t afford our cleaner as much as we would like - she does 2 hrs a week and we had to bite the bullet and explain the situ and that we could not afford all the hours we needed so planned with her what needed doing. We also said that she could drop us if she found a better arrangement with more hours.

Don’t sack her off yet: either

a) rearrange your budget
b) be honest and make a plan together

One thing about your post that does ring an alarm bell: beware of being emotionally dumped on by her. I had a cleaner just like this and she was adept at turning the emotional thumbscrews and accused me of making up a move to another country when we had to give notice and then had the move date delay by two weeks... she saw me in town and left a diatribe on my phone.

The same week I saw her driving round in a 16 plate Audi A3.... so

Three hours for a house, I have that for a very small two bed flat with one adult and child.

If cleaning up toast crumbs is annoying, do you really think you’ll want to be responsible for cleaning half a house each week?

This is why we have a cleaning company. Every individual cleaner I have e we had I get dragged into their life which is invariably problematic and difficult ends up being more stressful and leaves me feeling guilty. Love the anonymity of a company.