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Original poster

Husband has short fuse

36 replies

Michessex15 · 22/07/2019 13:19

I have been with my husband 8 years. We have five children. My 2 eldest are from my previous marriage. Over the years he has lost his temper over small things. He has punched a wall through bedroom door and then tried to do this again earlier this year in my older daughters door. He has smashed things up in kitchen . He use to run off to his mum's and ignore my calls for one night everytime we had big argument. He can longer do this as she died a few years ago. He doesn't show affection of say or show he loves. He has started to compliment me every now and again be wise he is trying to make effort.he clashes with my 12 year old daughter. She can be hard work but he has started to get personal like a child with her. Called her ugly without her make up be wise she said my son had bags under his eyes after my so said she was lazy and yesterday she wouldn't clear dinner table so my husband called her "lanky". She is no angel sometimes but that's just kids. There is do much more to say that has left me upset. It's good sometimes otherwise I would not have 3 kids with him. He works hard . I feel the love I feel for him has been knocked out of me but am I being too sensitive ?

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 22/07/2019 13:28

You should have left him a long, long time ago.

Original poster
Michessex15 · 22/07/2019 13:32

I know. It started to get worse when I miscarried a month after our wedding. He just rolled his eyes when I said how much blood I was losing . I updated him every night when he came home from work. He said. " You lost so much blood I'm surprised your not dead" . I thought I can't leave now we just got married. It got better but bad again. People said he doesn't mean it just how he is and that I am too sensitive

OP posts:
Grumpyoldblonde · 22/07/2019 13:34

Hrs an a abusive wanker and you need to leave

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Relationship problems
cranstonmanor · 22/07/2019 13:36

He is abusive to your children, as a mother they should be your priority. You need to keep him away from your kids, it's that simple.

Soola · 22/07/2019 13:36

He’s a role model to your children.

A bad one.

Don’t let them grow up witnessing his day to say actions.

Original poster
Michessex15 · 22/07/2019 13:39

I know this. It's not like this 24)7 and he has only just started getting personal towards my daughter. She is stunning and Def not ugly and he knows this but at her age they get a complex. She is 12 going o. 16 and dies have attitude but that's part of growing up and is a good caring girl. She winds him up on purpose as hates how he has hurt me in part. But now he is calling named it's made me sick.

OP posts:
ContactLight · 22/07/2019 13:40

Your children are your first priority and need to be protected. He is abusing them, and could cause a huge amoung of psychological damage with these repellent comments. Let alone the fear they must have when he starts smashing things and punching holes in walls.

What are you going to do about it - stay with him and let him carry on?

Original poster
Michessex15 · 22/07/2019 13:41

Can I just say my kids are my priority and they will teLl you this. It's just him and her that clash. I am a good mum

OP posts:
Original poster
Michessex15 · 22/07/2019 13:42

No I'm not staying with him. He last lost it in Feb. So I said we are done. He said he can save our relationship etc. After a week I was willing to give it a go. But slowly he is being a grumpy git with a temper . My kids are aged 1 5 and 7. Then I have my 2 aged 12;and 14

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Itwontrainallthetime · 22/07/2019 14:04

Sounds a little like my husband he has depression and now on medication for it as we couldn't carry on the way he had been behaving and I said if he doesn't get help then we're done as it wasn't fair on my DS 10 and DD 7.
He wasn't so bad when I first had my DS he totally changed after I had my DD.
It was like having 3 children somedays. He didnt ever insult my dc but would wind them up so they get angry and shout at them if they retaliated.
He seemed not to lack any empathy towards me during pregnancy and labour. Especially my labour with my DD was a bad one. He told the midwife he just wanted to go home and sleep. Cheeky git.
There are other things too long to mention and it's hard for myself to get over some of the things he has done. But we are in a better place now and we love each other dearly.

Original poster
Michessex15 · 22/07/2019 14:10

Yes same here. No empathy when I'm Ill or pregnant or in labour. When I had hernia he kept going on about losing a day's pay to take me and how he should really be in gym. When I had our last baby he saw me go through blood sweat and tears and when I had her. He just touched my foot and said well done. No kiss nothing. Then like yours moaned how he was tired and hungrt .he won't change I doubt. He is 53 but looks in his 40s but acts like a kid. I'm 41 and thinking "is this it"? :(

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Original poster
Michessex15 · 22/07/2019 14:11

I don't love my husband dearly as it's damaged it for me:(

OP posts:
PineappleSeahorse · 22/07/2019 14:12

Depression is not an excuse for behaving like this. You deserve so much better OP as do your children. He is abusing you all.

Soola · 22/07/2019 14:16

He won’t change. He might act nice for a short time but it’s an act and he’ll revert back to his true self.

You don’t live and cherish him so get rid .

Original poster
Michessex15 · 22/07/2019 14:23

It's hard to sit him down and talk about how I feel . I get upset and then his words are " why you balling"? Never that his sorry I'm hurting or what's wrong. He is emotionally backwards.

OP posts:
PineappleSeahorse · 22/07/2019 14:27

Talking to him won't get you anywhere because he doesn't care. Please start making plans for a better life for yourself and your children. Things will only get worse if you stay and they're already insufferable.

P1nkHeartLovesCake · 22/07/2019 14:32

You have to leave for the dc sake of nothing else, you are there mother and they need protecting from this.

Things like being told they are ugly is how they will remember there childhood

Frith2013 · 22/07/2019 14:46

He’s an absolute twat.

Original poster
Michessex15 · 22/07/2019 14:46

I agree and I know and she knows he didn't mean it as she is stunning. He should not have said it. It was in an argument. He has called me toxic and a bully becaise me asking for help turned into an argument

OP posts:
Nesssie · 22/07/2019 15:06

As a 12 year old girl, she will remember that comment for a long long time. And when someone else calls her ugly (perhaps at school etc as girls do) she will remember his comment and start to believe it. No matter how stunning she actually is.

For her sake, and the sake of the rest of your children - LTB

Original poster
Michessex15 · 22/07/2019 20:28

What does OP mean? I don't get some of the lingo on here ?

OP posts:
LuxuryWoman2018 · 22/07/2019 20:55

Michesses15 it’s you - the original/opening poster.

How are you this evening?

Original poster
Michessex15 · 22/07/2019 21:25

Oh ok thank you. Yes I'm fine thank you. Alot to think about :/

OP posts:
Original poster
Michessex15 · 26/07/2019 09:16

Well fridge freezer couldn't handle heat wave yesterday. Some stuff started to melt. my eldest 2 didn't tell me and tried to readjust the digital temp thing. I told them that on future to tell me and me or my husband will deal with it . Anyway he said it's a coincidence they touched it and now everything going warm. I said well it's a heat wave and may have something to do with it. He said "it was ok until YOUR kids touched it".our youngest who is one is suffering with chicken pox. I said " shame if we have to get a new one as will have to wait and all her mini milks are in there that been cooling her down ." He said "what about us ? We all need it in this heat " I said " I know but my first thought is the kids and the baby because she is Ill. We are adults and can get tbriught it". He said " well that common sense of course I care about baby". Point is as usual his first thought is himself

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Original poster
Michessex15 · 27/07/2019 09:34

Well he has kicked off thismornjng. He told 2 of our girls he was taking them to the toy shop of they tidy the garden and all rooms in house. So as joke I said looks like they won't be going then. He shouted at me straight away that I should be on his side and we should be a team .I said to him they tidied their rooms yesterday . He said well that's just their rooms. He said of course I just mean tidy some bits after i said you can't expect girls their age to do that much. I'm sure he didn't mean that but still. He wouldn't hear me out as was just shouting. Saying we clash and saying " it's never your fault "I said but I always say sorry even when it isn't just to move on. I said" you never take blame or say sorry or anything" I said" I'm still upset for you calling * lanky. " So he replied " lanky lanky what's that not like I aclled her a cunt" . he has just told me he will move to Spain where his brothers are for a while and to go away. He was shouting so much his veins looked like they would burst and when he stopped shouting he said " you don't like it that I have stopped shouting . I know what your about I have worked you out" started laughing. Odd

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