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Original poster

Hand holds please, DH in hospital

71 replies

MartinBlank · 21/07/2019 23:38

I've NCd. Not really sure why but this is just all a bit real and I want it separate.

DH started to feel really unwell around 4.30. We've all been fighting a virus for days so he thought he'd just had a bit of a relapse. But had an insect bite that was burning to the touch and when I took his temp it was 39.9. Called 111. They sent him to nearest urgent care centre. UCC said they weren't sure if it was just infected bite or sepsis. Sent him to bigger hospital. He had to drive himself as we have 1 and 3 year old and nobody nearby.

His battery was low when he set out. Stayed in touch while he could to say he had had bloods and urine taken but had to turn off phone to save battery. Turned it back on 10 minutes ago to say he'd had chest xray looking for sepsis and is now on antibiotic drip.

I'm getting really scared. It's worse because he can't communicate now. Phone has only 4%. Can call hospital for updates but can't keep doing that.

Nearest relatives are PIL 1.5 hours away. They are brilliant and will drop everything as soon as I need them but don't know what to do about asking them to come. Want to be at hospital as soon as I can but also don't want to take them. Might be really scary for them.

I'm rambling now. Trying not to panic and I think MN is my best bet not to right now.

OP posts:
Original poster
MartinBlank · 22/07/2019 00:12

I've called 3 times. It just rings out.

Have messaged MIL to ask her to come first thing

OP posts:
Original poster
MartinBlank · 22/07/2019 00:13

Not sure what cold fever means but he did have a high temperature and was shivering. And he did throw up.

OP posts:
Sparrowlegs248 · 22/07/2019 00:21

Sounds like the best plan OP, I was goingto suggest that, it's what I'd do in that situation. No way would I be dragging my 2 and 3 yr olds out at this time of night. If you're needed at the hospital, they'll phone you.

I hope you can get some rest, and your PIL arrive nice and early so you can go to him.

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cheeseorchickentwisties · 22/07/2019 00:26

I'd definitely be driving there with the kids. They won't really have a grasp of it being serious unless you say anything. I hope he's ok op Thanks

AlunWynsKnee · 22/07/2019 00:29

Will PIL not come now?

Goingonagondola · 22/07/2019 00:29

I hope you're OK, OP. I agree with others that the kids can cope with being woken up (they'll think of it as an adventure) if you just tell them you have to take a phone charger to Daddy as silly Daddy has forgotten it. If he works there, then it won't alarm them to go there.

notapizzaeater · 22/07/2019 00:30

There isn't a right and wrong here, how old are his parents ? Couldn't they sleep at yours tonight so you can go to the hospital ?

HellYeah90s · 22/07/2019 00:33

Get the kids out of bed now, they are so young that they won't understand.

DH worked away one night and my eldest had a seizure, I had no choice but to take my 2yo out of bed at 10pm. Not ideal but it is what it is.

Original poster
MartinBlank · 22/07/2019 00:36

I think it would be really strange for them and they would know something was wrong. And we would then all be utterly exhausted. They also go to nursery on the hospital site so while being in that location is totally normal for them they would be right by nursery but not there and in the middle of the night.

PIL are 73 and 67. I don't want to get them out of bed and also be exhausted when I need them tomorrow. Journey is about 1.5 hours and 90% motorway.

OP posts:
viques · 22/07/2019 00:44

MartinBlank, I know you want a handhold but what you NEED is to try to get some rest. Please go to bed and at least rest your body if not your mind, you are going to have a busy day tomorrow .

Middledistancerunner · 22/07/2019 00:48

Bad news travels very fast OP, if they need you they will call you. Best to assume everything is being taken seriously and being handled well.
You dh is in the right place.
I also wouldn’t disturb my small children but would get everything in order and go first thing.

Massive hand hold.

Sabich · 22/07/2019 00:51

If it's any consolation similar situation as a child I was wrapped up in a blanket and taken in the car. I was just absolutely fascinated by being out at night and watching the lights and late night traffic go past and dozed on and off.

Don't know what you decided to do but don't panic too much and thoughts for all of you Flowers

StillMe1 · 22/07/2019 00:52

Is there an older neighbour whose children are adults or even left home that you could ask to stay with the children while you go to the hospital? I had an older neighbour who would babysit at any time of the day or night in an emergency.
I also dashed to hospitals at various times. I sometimes would use a buggy for kids who were long past that stage but needs must.

gingerbreadsprinkle · 22/07/2019 00:52

I would call for his PIL to sleep at yours. Just drink lots of caffeine and drop the kids off at nursery tomorrow so if your PIL are tired, they won't be needed as much for childcare. Make it an easy day, let the kids watch a bit of telly when they get home so PIL don't need to entertain them. I think PIL would also be anxious about their son so would want updates (I probably would in their situation). You'll probably be very busy tomorrow so you might need the help.

GloGirl · 22/07/2019 00:59

Nicely - put all the lights on and have a hot drink.

Get a bag ready with a few things in it you might want to take to see him tomorrow. Get a notepad and write a few things down that you need.

In 30 minutes turn all the lights off bar a small lamp. Tell yourself you are going to sleep for a few hours - and set an alarm for 6am. Literally nothing will happen between now and the morning. He's well enough to be messaging you and the hospital have his absolute best care in mind - and they will also have your mobile number if you need it.

Tell yourself that what's needed is someone who can be proactive tomorrow and sort it all out, so you need rest. You can't contact anyone tonight.

Go to bed. Find some you tube video for restful sleep if you need to and know it's ok because your alarm will wake you up.

He'll be ok - you need to rest so you can take care of him.

Incywincybitofa · 22/07/2019 00:59

Right the hospital will have made it their business to get NOK and emergency contacts. They will call if you are needed, and if you are called stick the kids in the car, someone there will be found to help. A stretch of NHS maybe, but the last time I took my DD to A&E there was a baby whose dad was in A&E being looked after by paeds.
Secondly of course you should have called your inlaws, he is their son, they love him, he loves them, they will do all they can to help you and him and the DC and they will want to know.
Call the hospital for an update
Do all of that and doze fitfully through the night.

1Wildheartsease · 22/07/2019 01:11

Call your PIL unless you really think they are too frail to cope. It doesn't sound as if they are so old that they couldn't lose a little sleep and baby-sit their grandchildren in an emergency. Their support in real-life is much better than anything we can give.

stucknoue · 22/07/2019 01:23

Do you have a double buggy and your own car? If so just put the kids still in their pj's in the car and take his charger to the hospital, you may not be able to to go right in with the kids depends on the ward but duty staff try to help in such circumstances. Dd has the new Samsung and the lead isn't common

Original poster
MartinBlank · 22/07/2019 01:26

Thank you to everyone who is reading.

Tried to call hospital 12 times and no answer. But got another update from DH with 2% battery. Says he's been moved to an observation ward which must mean they don't think he's in real danger. They haven't got him a bed, just a chair so he's uncomfortable but I think ok.

I haven't managed to sleep yet. Might be able to now.

Thank you again

OP posts:
Original poster
MartinBlank · 22/07/2019 01:28

And he has a charger. That makes it less scary too knowing I can get hold of him

OP posts:
Glitter99x · 22/07/2019 01:28

Hope you are okay, OP, The hospital has his best interest at heart, and will do their best to look after him, try to sleep.

thaegumathteth · 22/07/2019 01:33

I was in your dh position recently and it was sepsis. I would’ve been really upset and angry if dh had dragged my kids along in the middle of the night - I needed him to hold the fort and that’s it really.

FWIW I was pretty damn unwell with sepsis but the IV antibiotics work very quickly ime. It might not be sepsis of course but if it is it doesn’t mean it’s all doom and gloom necessarily. Don’t get me wrong it took me a while to recover and it was scary but I’m ok now.

Try and rest even if it just means lying with your eyes closed listening to a podcast. Maybe before that pack dh an overnight bag and If there’s anything you need to organise for your PIL having the kids then do that but PLEASE get some rest because that’s what your dh needs to do right now, really.

Pieceofpurplesky · 22/07/2019 01:36

Try and rest. He is safe and contactable.

Original poster
MartinBlank · 22/07/2019 01:39

Ok. Feeling much better. Been able to exchange a load of messages.

He's been taken off drip but just left with no info and no suggestion of any diagnosis.

He is feeling better though. His job is actually service improvement. He's making lists of everything that's been a bit crap. Communication being top.of the list.

Will definitely try to sleep now.

OP posts:
Zoflorabore · 22/07/2019 01:40

Hi op, a handhold from me too. Everything is a million times worse during the night so I hope you're sleeping now you have had an update from your dh.

Great news that he has a charger! Hopefully this will reduce your anxieties a little as he can keep in touch and I agree that if he is in the observation ward then he isn't seriously ill. Fingers crossed they get to the bottom of it Flowers

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