Cillian Murphy - looks like a haunted crash-test-dummy.
Bendydick Cucumber-thingy - Looks like a clone who has woken before he was fully finished.
Tom Hardy - Has a face like he is pressed up against glass, suctioned by the mouth.
Robbie Williams - Looks like a sleazy 1970s wedding DJ.
Tom Hiddleston - agree with the Mr Tumnus similarity. Looks like he would weep after sex.
Eddie Redmayne - Pressed up to the opposite side of Tom Hardy's window.
Aiden Turner/Kit Harrington - Look like pocket versions of real heart throbs, who have had their sex appeal removed in the shrinking process.
Daniel Craig - Looks like a psychopathic elf who wishes everyone understood him.
Channing Tatum - like the love child of Mr Potato Head and Tom Hardy.
Jude Law - like a smarmy financial advisor, with a huge ego, who sees himself as a "ladies man".
Tom Cruise - another pocket heartthrob who lost his charisma in the shrinking process.
Bradley Cooper and Ryan Gosling - also post-sex weepers.
Johnny Depp - Looks like an alcoholic, ageing actor who bores the customers shitless in bars with tales of how Hollywood 'done him wrong'. Smells of liquor, fags, regret and bitterness.
Oooh, got carried away a bit there.
Except - Gary Barlow - looks like a used car salesman who found it too exciting so became a supermarket manager instead.