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Original poster

Partner just pushed me over the Bed onto the floor

37 replies

lurcher4 · 21/07/2019 13:55

I'm really confused, my Partner of 8 year's just pushed me over the Bed onto the floor during a big argument where I accused him of gas lighting me, he just looked so full of rage, he's never done this before, I'm disabled due to Hernia Mesh, i have tonsillitis and I'm nursing my beautiful 17yr old Lurcher 24/7 my doctor put me on Beta blockers for Anxiety but he says I'm nuts
He has MS he was diagnosed 6 year's ago, is this what's caused it?
Sorry this is so long but I am so confused, he is just crying and throwing up, he isn't talking, I'm in agony with my back & bruised down my side

OP posts:
Wildorchidz · 21/07/2019 14:01

It sounds awful.
Do you live together?

Original poster
lurcher4 · 21/07/2019 14:24

Yes he moved in straight away,

OP posts:
Toddlerteaplease · 21/07/2019 14:25

MS is no excuse for that.

kalinkafoxtrot45 · 21/07/2019 14:26

MS doesn’t make you abusive. This is assault, you know. Can you make him leave?

Stressedout10 · 21/07/2019 14:28

This is not ok you need to call the police!

Ms doesn't cause people to assault other people.

This domestic violence

Please please get some help

Lunde · 21/07/2019 14:29

Call the police

TanMateix · 21/07/2019 14:34

This reply has been deleted

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BitchQueen90 · 21/07/2019 14:37

TanMatiex I'm sorry, but it sounds like you are suggesting that there is something the OP could have said that would excuse violent behaviour.

Well, no there isn't. We all go through shit times, most of us manage not to be violent.

This is assault and I would not accept it, even just the one time. I'd be gone.

TanMateix · 21/07/2019 14:38

Actually, I just noticed you were having an argument where you accused him of gas lighting you. There is obviously the possibility he is gaslighting you, but there is also the possibility both of you are struggling with your anxiety.

I would say that if you feel you are not safe, you should call the police straight away but keep in mind that your relationship may not recover from that call.

ContactLight · 21/07/2019 14:41

Call the police, he has assaulted you and he needs to be prevented from doing it again. Whether he has MS or not, or whether that is contributing to his violence is irrelevant. You don't have to put up with it.

You're not nuts at all, and if it weren't for this bastard I bet you wouldn't be on medication for anxiety either.

TanMateix · 21/07/2019 14:48

@BitchQueen90

I am not excusing violence by any means but if he has not acted like that in the years they have been together, she also needs to check what may have led to this behaviour.

My friend was punched by her then husband once. She ran away from home and told everyone he had beaten her (he had) and that she never imagined he was going to be so unmanly as to beat a woman.

When I asked her what happened before punch, she told me was shouting at him and she had broken a kitchen stool on his back because she felt frustrated he was ignoring her. The punch was an off the cuff reaction to her violence. So... better to check first if she still cares for this relationship, otherwise I unreservedly join the chorus that she should call the police.

Stressedout10 · 21/07/2019 14:57

@TanMateix
You do realise that you are gaslighting the OP and trying to excuse the abuser.
What is wrong with you?

Frith2013 · 21/07/2019 15:03

Phone the police.

BitchQueen90 · 21/07/2019 15:12

TanMateix breaking a stool over someone's back is a bit different to accusing someone of gaslighting them which is all that OP said she did. In your friend's case, she instigated the violence by being violent first. OP hasn't said she was violent to her DP.

DrPeppersPhD · 21/07/2019 15:29

This is concerning for both of you. What he did was assault, that is absolutely correct. You say you're in agony, is it possible the fall might have worsened your hernia or possibly even broken something? I'm also concerned about him, not because I don't think he did wrong, but vomiting and sudden mood changes can be signs of severe illnesses. Can you call 111 and explain what's happening with both of you and see what they say?

gamerchick · 21/07/2019 15:42

I would say that if you feel you are not safe, you should call the police straight away but keep in mind that your relationship may not recover from that call

WTF? Seriously what goes through your head to come out with those posts? NOBODY deserves to be assaulted and the comparison you've come out with doesn't even come close to what's been said in the OP. There's no question the OP needs to ring the police and I hope she's brave enough to do that. There is no relationship to 'recover from' once violence enters then you leave it.

Talk about victim blaming.

newmomof1 · 21/07/2019 15:48

MS as in multiple sclerosis? No that definitely wouldn't cause him to be aggressive.

I'd say it's probably more that he knew you were right and doesn't know how to deal with it, so flipped out.

Please don't try to make excuses for him - he knew what he was doing.

Soola · 21/07/2019 15:49

Was it a shove in temper and you fell or did he purposely pick you up and throw you?

There is a difference.

Original poster
lurcher4 · 21/07/2019 15:49

Hi thank you for replying & everyone else, I forgot to add the argument started three day's ago, he woke up && asked me what the weather was doing, as I got tonsillitis I croaked & he accused me of messing with his head when I tried to explain, he ignored me for two days untill today when I questioned him, we have got a lot of stuff going on, we're both worried over our old girl, but everyone is right there is no excuse for violence MS or not! I know that but it's hard to admit it to myself.
Well he's in bed so I'll wait & see what happens when he gets up.
Thank you again for everyone's advice, it's really appreciated

OP posts:
Soola · 21/07/2019 15:54

Rather than being a habitual abuser I would say that it’s all got too much for him and he’s cracked and taken it out on you.

If he’s genuinely remorseful he will apologise, discuss calmly all the problems you both have and how to improve them so that this situation doesn’t arise again. Also to address his temper and what he is going to do about it.

Original poster
lurcher4 · 21/07/2019 15:55

No I wasn't violent, I did scream my head of at him though

OP posts:
PepsiLola · 21/07/2019 16:33

I would ask him to leave and tell him I need time to think about his actions

Stressedout10 · 21/07/2019 16:56

@lurcher4
I appreciate that this is hard for you but you really need to get the police involved, from your update it sounds like he's emotionally abusive (for a while?) and has now progressed to physical violence. It will only get worse (always another excuse) as these things always do.
YOU ARE NOT AT FAULT HE IS (sorry for shouting)
Flowers🍖For you and ddog

DianaT1969 · 21/07/2019 17:16

He sulked for two days. You don't seem surprised at that, so it sounds as though it's a really bad relationship anyway. Time to end it. Long overdue by the sounds of it.

DianaT1969 · 21/07/2019 17:16

Anything stopping you from leaving?