Drug driving- would it end your friendship

[pickledpickles1]

My friends husband drove round to mine the other night to take my dc to an event along with his own 2 dc and my friend. He is on medication that renders him unable to drive (she said he was zombified) and he is supposed to inform the DVLA of his treatment. I refused to allow him to take dc so my friend drove instead. I was and still am furious that they both took that risk of him driving. She text me saying they had made up as he fell out with her telling me. No apology, no nothing regarding the incident. All fine and happy in their abusive household apparently.

I've been supporting her through his illness and her affair and there have been many times I've distanced myself but this was the final straw and I've ended the friendship. No one knowingly puts my child in danger and it's only that I looked at the car parked some distance away that I knew he was driving.

Would you have done the same?

Yes. And I’d have reported him as well.

This ^^

You are absolutely right and I also think you should report. He is a danger to others.

Absolutely I would end the friendship and report as PP's have said!

It would very obviously be me who'd reported as no one knows about the treatment. That's why he was so angry with her for telling me. Said he could lose his job as he's not told his employer about it. Instead he's lied and said he's off with a relatively mild condition. I really struggle with lies and liars and have struggled with knowing about her affair. Her dh knows about it too now as she told him.

He could lose his job.

Diddums.

Someone could lose their life.

Report him.

I would report him and the friendship would be over. You can't trust them.

I'm hoping that since I pointed it out that he will no longer do it as she can't claim she doesn't know now.
Who would you report to?

Dvla

Absolutely report. You could literally be saving lives. These people are arseholes.

I'm thinking of all the times he's taken their kids to school and would have been driving illegally. Why do people risk the lives of others, especially children?

OP I know it's hard (I'm in exactly the same situation with a family member-there's no way it could be anybody but me who reported) but I'd rather lose a relationship than someone lose their life. Please report to DVLA, and huge hugs too

His GP should already have reported him but I don’t think they are very good at doing this sadly

Well it's for the greater good I guess. They involved me and made me complicit in his wrong doing. I won't be used like that.

What a fucking moron. Report, immediately, who gives a fuck if it’s obvious. Could also be the GP or whatever medical person he’s dealing with that reported him.

I take a medication than renders me unable to drive. I refuse to drive for at least 48 hours after I’ve taken it. It’s not even on the official list but I don’t feel safe driving, so I don’t.

Fucking simple really.

What are the meds? What are they for?

Are they a long term thing?

Benzodiazepines for alcohol detox.

Was he the sort of guy to drink and drive too then?

If so he'll continue to drug drive unless stopped by being reported.

These are the guidelines.

I would report him to the DVLA.

I would report, because it's not his right to endanger other people on the road.

I reported my own brother for driving while unfit. Not out of spite, but because if someone is unfit to drive, for whatever reason, they have no place in a 2 ton weapon on wheels!

Driving requires us to be competent and able at all times. Distraction, even for a few seconds is enough to kill someone.

Is it ever worth it?

They could have killed your children, or their own.

Fucking scumbags.

He drinks about 15 units an evening then drives the kids to school the next day at 8am.

Neither of them is fit to be a parent.

Him because he's an arrogant, drunken, selfish bastard who puts his kids (and everyone else's) at risk because he wants to drive.

Her because she puts his wants over her children's needs.

Pair of arseholes.

DVLA guidelines say if they are caught with it in their blood stream it is an offence, but, if medically prescribed and it doesn't impact their driving it is ok.

However, the limits that have been set for these drugs exceed normal prescribed doses, meaning that the vast majority of people can drive as they normally would, so long as:

- They are taking their medicine in accordance with the advice of a healthcare professional and/or as printed in the accompanying leaflet
- their driving is not impaired

I don't agree with this and wouldn't get in a car with someone on these drugs as whether it impacts your driving or not is subjective. His wife may think he is zombified, he might think he is fine. Not sure if DVLA will actually do anything if you report.

The actual drug isn't listed on there but I spoke to someone I know who works in alcohol rehab and he said patients are told in no uncertain terms that they should not drive and need to inform the DVLA.

I was also told it's a safeguarding issue as he's driving his kids around.