I'm a crap newborn mum

[Nobhobs]

I have a 5 day old and I’m being an utterly crap mum. I have a really supportive DH who is doing far more than his fair share but all I can think about is sleep. Baby is breastfeeding hourly, I want to cry everytime he’s hungry. In the nights I just want him to go away so I can sleep. I feel like I can’t put him first as I’m so tired. I don’t know what I expected but it wasn’t this

I'm sorry it's so hard when they're new, the sleep deprivation is a nightmare. My DH was way better than me at the nights, I absolutely did my best but from what I remember he did more. I used to get so tired I'd sleep through him crying. You're not a bad mum because you are sleep deprived. It gets better, truly. My son is almost two and he's class and I'm a great mum, I'm not great with newborns. I'm also about to do it again soon, due in October so it's worth it. You'll be doing better than you think you are and it's a small time in both your lives.

If you are crap then so are the rest of us. This part is totally shit and how you feel is completely normal. Just nobody tells you beforehand! and probably cold for you. It gets easier in a week, I promise. 2 weeks, easier still and by 6 weeks it’s much better.

Also you're on day 5, you do get used to it. Don't judge yourself too harshly.

Oh lovely, what you're feeling is completely normal. The newborn bit is truly hard. Everyone who has been there knows that - I guess no one wants to sound too scary when you're pregnant.

I have to go - my (second) baby has just woken up, but it does get easier soon. A lot easier. And take turns with your partner where you can & get back to bed. x

You're not a crap mum op. Nothing and no one can prepare you for the bombshell that is your first (?) newborn. There is nothing you could pay me to do the first 2 weeks with my ds again. It will get easier, I promise. Rest as much as you can, your job is to feed and rest, let your dh do everything else. Establishing bf is really hard work, really hard so go easy on yourself.

Totally normal. I composed an eBay advert for my newborn DS and then a farewell poem to my bed He’s now 9 and woke me up a few minutes ago to talk about nutmegging Messi. I told him to go back to bed and off he went!

Today, go to bed. Any time your baby isn’t feeding, hand him over to your DH and go to sleep. He can handle all nappy changes, visitors etc. Sleep. Everything is so much easier to handle when you aren’t being tortured with sleep deprivation.

You are a normal Mum of a newborn. Perfectly normal.
I remember thinking I simply cannot DO this - why did I ever think I could?
It will be OK, seriously

When first born arrived I was that tired I fell asleep in boots!
It’s crap but your doing an amazing job
Go easy on yourself get as much support as you can and remember you’ve just birthed a human being-it’s bloody hard
Sending hugs

I was the same OP. I always say if they handed them to you at 12 weeks old, I'd have 5 kids. As it is, I cannot even contemplate a second right now as the thoughts of going through the newborn stage again turns my blood cold, it's bloody hard!! It will pass though

I can assure you that your not, your body has worked hard to grow your baby for 9months, you have given birth, you are using energy to produce milk and you are bleeding and sore.

Your knackard with out having night feeds ... it’s hard going... my husband seemed to cope better with sleep Deprivation at first but go easy on yourself your body has gone through so much and needs to heal.

Try to get sleep between feeds ... let husband rock and change baby after ...our little guy slept in arms only if yours is the same take shifts when you can ( I know feeding is prob on you upside of my milk barley coming in and combo feeding was I could split the night early on )

Keep an eye out for depression/ baby blues it was around day 5 that I felt low, convinced my son hated me, and that I was useless and a hindrance ... this only got worse as time went on ... in retrospect bloody stupid but when your in it you can only see it as plain truth ... I found talking to
My husband helped... and time.

It does get easier I promise , you will get used to Less sleep, become and excellent napper ( by 3 months I could fall asleep the second my baby did 😂)
You will accept help and not feel guilty and therefore sleep.
You will Learn to ignore all but essential housework and the baby will get a routine so you don’t feel like you are on constant alert.

It’s awfully hard ... but you are doing an amazing job! You really are !
Big big hugs x x x

Its so normal OP as others have said, I truly hated the newborn stage. It could so much better at about 6 weeks and then easier again at about 12 weeks. Now we're in the toddler phase and I love it - I would never have said that at your stage. I thought I was the worst mum ever.

Op it is common for the hormones to really hit around day 4/5! You are not a crap mum

Do what @ThomasRichard said (well the second paragraph anyway!

I promise - it gets better - hang in there

My little guy is 8 months and thought doing it again yesterday’s ( and pregnancy half kills me ) now I remember why that’s a crazy idea!!! I now understand why it took 5 years to have me after my brother 😂😂

Oh and anyone saying 'aahhh they're so good /easy etc at that age ...' ignore! I got this all the time, fact is they're awful, it's a massive change but it gets better

I could have written this 5 months ago.
Sleep deprivation is absolutely horrible.
But the more you feed him, the easier it will become for him to get lots of milk from you. I spent the nights reading kellymom and littlepeachlondon on Instagram, plus breastfeeding and newborn things on here!
And eventually it did get easier.
Newborns are so hard, and I think most new mums feel exactly the same as you are now 💐

Ha! I thought I was the only one who dreamt of eBaying my first born.

OP - You are doing brilliantly. All you should expect of yourself is feeding, clean nappies and sleeping. Anyone who thinks you should be doing more should be told to do one or shown the pile of washing up

My first was very similar. It was awful. You have my sympathy op. Maybe speak to the health visitor (if they're nice) about how you're feeling. Don't worry you are definitely not crap, you are doing fantastically.

Also a bottle of formula every now again or just some rocking and cuddling from daddy in another room won't starve the baby if you need an extra half hour nap.

Ah I remember so well that feeling of your heart sinking when you hear them start to cry - again! And the feeling of being so so tired in a way you could not have imagined. Hang in there OP. It's normal to feel this way and it will get better soon.

TOTALLY. THE. SAME. HERE.

Now I have a 17 month old who mostly sleeps through the night. It gets better OP.

Have you tried safe bed sharing?

OP did no one give you the memo- sleep deprivation is actual torture!!!!! You are not a bad mum you are exhausted.

Things to do:

Nothing but sleep when your LO sleeps, sod visitors the cleaning, just feed and rest (and eat).

Also remember this stage really does pass, doesn’t feel like it when you are in the thick of it but I promise you it does.

Congrats on the baby

Don’t feel bad - your hormones are probably still readjusting to having given birth, breastfeeding. It will take time. But do see your gp and hv if these feelings go on

you're not crap.
Day 5 can be harsh, your hormones will be going a bit haywire and it takes it's toll for a few days.
Be kind to yourself. Rest and eat well. This phase will pass.

This ia totally normal but not enjoyable. I also felt guilty my dh was doing so much. Remember how much your body has been through and it needs recovery, as do you.
I remember being so tired i asked DH to take DS off me... i was holding a teddy bear! Honestly, 100% thought i was holding DS.
It does get better.
Also, please remember (for some reason it seems a sin to suggest this these days) but a happy mum leads to a happier baby. Personally, i couldnt have got through without formula. There is no shame in switching to formula IF YOU WANT TO. it wont fix everything, but your DH can also feed that way. My DS is formula fed and it hasnt poisened him!! Good luck, congratulations and remember this will also be because of your milk coming in.

On day 5 I was ready to send DS back to hospital. It's hard work, enough to put me off another! Be kind to yourself, you had a baby 5 days ago, your body needs time to recover, your hormones are flying all over the place and you suddenly have this tiny thing you're responsible for 24/7. It's exhausting and daunting and frightening but it gets better, I promise. Let DH do as much as he can!