A baby crying at nursery

[Tomasinaa]

This week on 3 occasions either me or my DH have gone to pick up or collect our child from nursery to find a baby (maybe 4-5 months old) with no one seeing to her.
The latest time was yesterday - the baby was lying under a play gym thing propped up on a boppy pillow and while I was there she gradually slipped down it to the point she was lying flat on the floor, now screaming her head off. Two members of staff in room - one carrying around a non crying baby and the other putting things away. She was talking to the baby from afar but didn't pick her up. My DH witnessed similar this week.
What would you do if you were me if you see this again next week? Would you complain? We are obviously only there for a couple of minutes each day to pick up and drop off, so I don't want to rush to judgment.

Wow those ratios are shocking!

All of that, only dc she said she had to go back to work at 3 months

This is normal for us; I rather think it too long to go back after one year, especially if you have multiple children. That’s a lot of disruption to your career.

To be clear, I’m not saying either is right or wrong, but just giving perspective. It gives a lot of new mothers a sense of normality to get back in their “old” routine as soon as they feel able.

What about the baby?

Just because it's normalised doesn't mean it's the ideal scenario at all.
Ripping three month old from its mum at three months is brutal.

If I was mum who felt she had to get back to normality at three months post partum, I think I'd question my suitability to be a mother.
A three month old cannot communicate anything about how they have been all-day at all. You would have no idea.

Just wanted to add to the discussion that I 100% agree with your concerns but also that I encountered similar when my DD was in daycare in Australia - baby of similar age left to cry on floor near to my DD. I instinctively picked her up to comfort her and I was really told off by the staff member in the room who stormed over and snatched the baby from me. She told me I mustn't touch other people's babies as I wasn't insured/ background checked etc. It does make sense of course though I just acted without thinking and her reaction really upset me at the time. So basically, ignore what Soola said above, you didn't do anything wrong!

If I was mum who felt she had to get back to normality at three months post partum, I think I'd question my suitability to be a mother

I think this is an unfair statement; plenty of women choose to go back to work at six weeks, even, and I don’t think it reflects badly on them as mothers. Would you say the same for adoptive parents? Or fathers?

I do think it should be a choice, often in America it isn’t a choice, but taking six months to a year off of work is unheard of, you would have to quit your job to make that happen. Three months is our cultural norm and I don’t think we are any less mothers for that.

The problem in America really isn’t the length of maternity leave, it’s the quality and availability of daycare, and just how expensive it is!

That sounds really worrying, I don't think I'd be happy about my child being at a nursery like that.

"I think this is an unfair statement;"

I don't think that's unfair at all. If you don't WANT to spend time with your pretty new baby, then why bother having one in the first place?

Childcare / maternity does seem incredibly less generous than in the UK, but I travel to the US a lot and often notice that children (including toddlers, pre schoolers) seem so much more confident and articulate than in the UK. Not a loaded question but I’m wondering if there’s a correlation?

The US seems to have a lot of answer for when it comes to women’s health/ maternity provision

and the UK will be going the same way if the Tory Brexiteers get their way (not turning this into a Brexit discussion, just stating a fact that the more right wing Tories want to dismantle employment rights and make the UK like the US).

I don't think that's unfair at all. If you don't WANT to spend time with your pretty new baby, then why bother having one in the first place

So if you live in the US you can't have children? Or have to rely on a man (given benefits are non-existent).

"So if you live in the US you can't have children? Or have to rely on a man (given benefits are non-existent)."

First of all I want to state that I've written "WANT" in capitals for a reason - there is a differents between wanting to and having to.
Apart from that: Everyone can have as many children as they like. I'm simply wondering why, if you don't want to be around them anyway.

Smart fine if you don’t understand (or refuse to understand) why some women find getting out of the house and back into a normal routine helpful for them, both for their mental health and their career. But don’t say we are bad mothers for doing it.

I’ve experienced both; much prefer coming home and using my hours outside work to play with and enjoy my baby. Otherwise I felt each day a relentless slog and resented being at home all day, isolated, never feeling like I could enjoy time with my baby.

@upthewolves did you eventually take your child out of that daycare after that incident?

@HelloToMyKitty assuming you're in the US, do you have or have you had kids in daycare and what kind worked best for you?

Tomasina I do prefer mixed ages within reason, but think that until they start crawling they shouldn’t really be mixed. One that I’ve used had a separate baby care room. I’d be a bit at what happened there

As U.K. mat leave is so long they really don’t have this problem (in fact, they might have min. age requirements?)

Toma I’ve only really seen separate areas based on age so can’t really recommend one over the other. But I do think a good daycare is invaluable, they do so many fun activities I’d never think up on my own plus the social aspect