A baby crying at nursery

[Tomasinaa]

This week on 3 occasions either me or my DH have gone to pick up or collect our child from nursery to find a baby (maybe 4-5 months old) with no one seeing to her.
The latest time was yesterday - the baby was lying under a play gym thing propped up on a boppy pillow and while I was there she gradually slipped down it to the point she was lying flat on the floor, now screaming her head off. Two members of staff in room - one carrying around a non crying baby and the other putting things away. She was talking to the baby from afar but didn't pick her up. My DH witnessed similar this week.
What would you do if you were me if you see this again next week? Would you complain? We are obviously only there for a couple of minutes each day to pick up and drop off, so I don't want to rush to judgment.

I actually feel a baby is better off with a mix of ages. I find baby rooms a bit weird, they just feel unnatural and a bit sterile. Spending time with older children has a hugely positive effect on a baby's development too. Not at those ratios though! My CM had my baby plus two toddlers and that was it, how can two people possibly care for ten children that young adequately!

Ridiculous!

There is nothing to stop you from picking the baby up!

They are more likely to stop what they are doing and take the baby off of you rather than leaving it laying on the floor.

Then the penny might drop that other parents don’t find it acceptable that they aren’t as attentive to the baby as they should be.

Maybe the parent has asked that they leave the baby to cry for a certain amount of time before somebody comforts it

@Soola are you serious??
Not allowed?
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What are they going to do to you?!

You’d rather just stand there whilst a baby needs comforting because you think you’re ‘not allowed’.
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slow clap*

You can't go picking up random babies ffs

I don’t even have a baby but it’s quite obvious you can’t just pick up someone else’s in a nursery!

There are benefits to caring for children in mixed age groups, e.g. younger children learning from older ones, siblings being cared for together, staying with the same carer throughout their time in the setting.

It's more common in Sweden which is seen as a leader in early years practice.

Wow those ratios are horrendous.

Our room has six under twos with two members of staff.

The youngest baby I have ever seen there was 7 months and he had a key worker with him the whole time. He got a lot of attention and cuddles. So does my daughter at 12 months.

This is really upsetting to read. Imagine having to put your 4 month old in a nursery like that.

I would say something OP- email the manager and tell them what you witnessed!

Missnevermind that was also what i wondered as in a home environment, you do sometimes have to leave the baby to cry for a very short period to go to the bathroom or whatever, and maybe the staff just felt like ok I'm going to get to you in a min when I've quickly finished this job. I would never tell staff to leave my baby to cry, but maybe this mum has, although it is probably unlikely.
Like I said, the one lady who was putting things away was talking to the baby, along the lines of "ok baby I know, oh dear" that kind of thing.

My husband witnessed the other times so I don't know all the details.

I wish I'd asked them to tend to her when I was there yesterday but, i didn't and I regret it.

I'm going to check on the ratios as while the law in my state is 1:5 I think this place usually seeks to maintain 1:4, but it felt yesterday like there was more than 8 in there.

A baby shouldn’t be lying on the floor without close adult supervision (the adult actually sat with the baby) in a mixed age room. Three year old charge around the room running into anything in their path and chuck things all over the place. I would not be happy with this at all

Perfect peony it's very common here to put your baby in daycare at 6 weeks as there is very little maternity leave. And there are ten babies with 2 adults to look after them in tiny rooms all over this country. I'm glad I was able to stay at home until my baby was past one but now I've had to go back. Childcare in the US really is the pits! As I said, this is one of the better ones!

Although I should add ratios are set by state, so it may well be better in other parts of the country

In Germany, where I live, mixed rooms are common at nursery. I was a bit reluctant at first, but my pfb benefited from being around older children.

I would raise the issue with the kindergarten manager/ supervisor. I'd be very unhappy to hear that a newborn is being ignored.

But this also highlights the potential injustices of maternity leave. I have a relative in the US who had 16days maternity leave. Postpartum Maternity is not valued and is being eroded.

Mixed age groups are standard in many European countries and it's benefitial to everyone.

Wow... I can't imagine the parents haven't noticed?

I would be never ever contemplate babies and toddlers together in nursery like that no way.

How utterly awful. This would horrify me.

I get that it's different in smaller settings with more supervision but this sounds like an accident waiting to happen.

TeaAddict235 yes as my child is past one I am quite happy with the mix of ages, up until this week it always seemed to be about 5 kids between 1 and 2.5 and 1 baby of 9 months, who seemed to be getting lots of 1-1 while the other carer oversaw the toddlers. The setting is lovely and it seemed ideal really. This week i think they had more added including the smaller babies and now can't cope.

Perfect peony it's very common here to put your baby in daycare at 6 weeks as there is very little maternity leave.

That’s absolutely devastating. I honestly don’t think there is anything worse than forcing a new Mum to leave her newborn like that. The US seems to have a lot of answer for when it comes to women’s health/ maternity provision.

Barbaric.

"It's more common in Sweden which is seen as a leader in early years practice."

Babies in nurseries aren't common in Sweden. Mixed-age groups though are standard. Mostly they are split for ages 1-3 and 3-6, during the core time.

@PerfectPeony2 Barbaric is a great word for it! I've once seen a documentary about "Baby cuddlers" (can't remember what they were officially called). Volunteers who provide skin-to-skin contact to premature babies in the hospital. Because apparently there are many parents who have to go back to work right after giving birth and some can't even visit their babies daily, because they live too far away from the hospital.

Goodness just in toddler groups etc I've witnessed some absolute horrors of toddlers deliberately hurting babies, two separate children on two separate occasions did running jump to babiy on floor.

First mum didn't see just thgt babies started crying second mum saw and was raging to perps mum. I have also seen much low level pinching etc..
I would not leave my dc in mixed room.

Dc do not need this to benefit in any way shape or form.. It's like all the toddler climbing groups that sell their wares in such a way that's it critical for dc to start climbing and moving. Utter crap.

They will have have since time began do all that on their own. It's just fun.

John Oliver on 'this week tonight' did a devastating expose on the reality of the new worlds approach to motherhood and work.

It is barbaric and one wonders how thin this veneer of civility is.

Friend struggled to conceive for years, then ivf, then nearly lost child at 9 months.

All of that, only dc she said she had to go back to work at 3 months.

Her dh was head of his dep. Also had extra supplement income. Her job well paid.

She said its what everyone does.
I was staggered.

I just find that staff to child ratio insane. I have a 7 month old and a just turned 2 year old and I honestly struggle to meet both their needs at once so I can’t imagine how 1 member of staff can look after 5 at once.

They can’t
About all that can be hoped for is that their physical needs are met and that they are keot safe
Any emotional needs will not be met

Yes I would complain to the manager, a child should never be left crying.
God yesterday I spent 2 hours cuddling a baby who was upset, I could never leave them in a state, they need their emotional needs met.

I wouldn't leave it to happen again. And over my Dead body would I leave my child there no matter what group they're in.