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Original poster

14 year old boys suicide after being bullied

77 replies

Teethlikepins · 18/07/2019 06:46

Sorry I don't know how to link, but I just can't stop thinking about the poor 14 year old school boy who killed themselves this week after being bullied.

This seems to be happening more regularly, and terrifies me to think of my children growing up in these times of social media and the pressures that come with it.

His poor family Sad

OP posts:
Moreweighttolose · 18/07/2019 10:41

I read this yesterday and it made me cry. I very rarely cry over news stories but there was just something so painfully sad about it...the report of how he passed his bag to his friend, how other kids were crying and begging him not to. The level of emotional pain he must have been in is unimaginable. Crying again just thinking about it now. That poor boy, his friends and family.

Sagradafamiliar · 18/07/2019 11:25

I'll never forget the sick feeling of being a similar age and thinking exam results were the be all and end all. It felt like the end of the world, not the beginning and that's without additional problems. A friend ended his life at age 16.

This story made my legs go weak. I cannot even imagine the devastation. Poor child. Deepest sympathy to his loved ones Thanks

Soola · 18/07/2019 11:45

There was an anti bullying campaign some years ago and a boy was chased by his tormentors and jumped off a wall/building/bridge to get away from them and was left permanently paralysed.

The mother recounted the event and it was heartbreaking.

I was fortunate that I was never bullied and neither were my children. It must be unbearable.

It also seems to go on much more nowadays.

Ilovechocolate01 · 18/07/2019 11:51

The word bullying needs to be replaced with harassment, stalking and/or abuse then maybe something will be done. Make it a criminal offence and get police involved

spiderlight · 18/07/2019 12:03

What makes it harder nowadays is that the bullies can get at you even when you're at home, through online abuse. Social media are so deeply entangled throughout every aspect of most teenagers' lives but they make it much more difficult to shut the door on bullies outside school hours. I don't know what the answer is but this poor lad has really got to me and I cannot begin to imagine the pain his parents must be going through.

FishCanFly · 18/07/2019 13:45

The word bullying needs to be replaced with harassment, stalking and/or abuse then maybe something will be done. Make it a criminal offence and get police involved

yes. that. Also is possible - racism/homophobia etc. Because when you say bullying = just kids messing about. but slap a few criminal records, ruin some chances of a naice college or university - will get people thinking.

CraftyGin · 18/07/2019 16:52

My DD just said that this boy travelled to school on the same bus as her. She recognised him from the newspaper photographs.

NoSauce · 18/07/2019 16:55

This is heartbreaking. The poor boy and his family. I feel for the children who witnessed this too ( and of course anyone else )

mbosnz · 18/07/2019 16:57

@CraftyGin

How is your daughter? Even that degree of connection can feel a great deal too close to home, and cause some turmoil. For both her, and yourself.

Stoptheworldpleasethankyou · 18/07/2019 17:00

Most of the time it’s much much more than bullying the bullying being the straw that broke the camels back.

There was a boy when I was younger who hung himself, it was reported that he was being bullied and that bullies killed him, he actually had a terrible home life and was being abused at home. The names he had been called a handful of times just proved how worthless he felt as other people than those he lived with clearly thought he was useless and worthless as well.

Nobody had cared about this poor boy before and after a couple of weeks sadly nobody cared once more.

Sagradafamiliar · 18/07/2019 17:04

Absolutely awful Stop :(

CraftyGin · 18/07/2019 17:05

She didn’t know him but with getting on the same bus for three years, she recognised him, even to the point of knowing that he got dropped off at the bus stop each morning. She said he looked like a nice boy and just as small as in the pictures.

She won’t take the afternoon train because of the ghastly behaviour of the Salesian students. She really wasn’t surprised that this happened. Her school finished last week, so another 50 students were spared the trauma.

mbosnz · 18/07/2019 17:11

Poor lad.

I think this school is going to find its chickens come somewhat home to roost over this. They don't seem to comprehend that 'thoughts and prayers' might just not assuage people's concerns over what they did know, what they should have known, what they did, and what they could or should have done.

ProfessorofPerspective · 18/07/2019 17:45

My DS was at this school some years ago, and it has an extremely strong community ethos and excellent pastoral provision. I do know the headteacher and can't think for one minute he will be trying to brush this aside. It's absolutely tragic for all concerned.

Original poster
Teethlikepins · 18/07/2019 20:59

I totally agree that bullying needs to be made illegal, and could lead to prosecution

OP posts:
Frequency · 18/07/2019 21:15

I totally agree that bullying needs to be made illegal, and could lead to prosecution

It is illegal. It's sadly sometimes a fight to get police to take it seriously but when they do perpetrators can be charged with malicious communications and/or harassment (if more than two messages were sent).

I've just dealt with this. Some girls in DD's school sent her messages telling her to kill herself. The call handler when I initially reported it was abysmal. I had to really push to get it reported as a crime but the officer who attended was fantastic. All children involved were given a serious talking to and made aware if it happens again we will be pursuing legal action.

What makes it worse is that these girls know DD suffers with poor mental health, self-harm and suicidal ideation. They still thought sending her messages telling her to die were 'banter' Hmm and were surprised to get a visit from the police.

PeoniesarePink · 18/07/2019 21:39

We withdrew our eldest DD at 13 from the mainstream school system due to bullying. We could see the damage it was doing, and couldn't see any other way. We had meeting after meeting with the school but nothing ever changed. Within a week she was a totally different child again, and went back to finish year 11 at a local college which she coped with brilliantly.

It's horrifying that schools STILL aren't dealing with it.

HelenaDove · 18/07/2019 23:17

I posted a thread last night but had trouble of thinking what to call the thread.

Horrific and sad for all concerned.

Being badly bullied at school can stay with you into adulthood and fuck up your trust in people.

I remember thinking ..........whats the point in going on ,leaving school, going into adulthood if people are going to behave like this if people are this nasty..................thats what led me to get hold of pills and whisky. I was 14 This was back in 1987 But i didnt go through with it.

Poor boy Sad

4forkssake · 18/07/2019 23:32

This story has really touched me too. I have a DC of similar age who is very sensitive, kind, caring & has been bullied. I'm sick of schools playing down bullying, whether it's because they don't want to believe it or don't want to stuff up their bloody Ofsted ratings I don't know but it has to stop.

I genuinely hope the bullly(ies) who drove this poor beautiful boy to feel this was the only way forward, have this on their conscience(s) for the rest of their life/lives & that somewhere out there, a bully reads his story & stops.

MissEliza · 18/07/2019 23:36

That story really got to me. It's just awful to think of a child in so much pain that they can't see a way out.

MyElbowIsItchy · 18/07/2019 23:38

Jesus Christ 😭 that poor young fella

MsLumley · 19/07/2019 07:50

This school is very local to me and although it's excellent academically it is well known in the local community as having a serious bullying problem. I know several people who've removed their kids from the school because of it. Ultimately of course it's the little bastard bullies that are responsible for their behaviour (and, dare I say it, in some cases their parents) but it just seems that bullying is rife in our schools now and if one good thing can come out of this i sincerely hope that this school and others get the wake up call they so badly need and start dealing with this issue properly.

noblegiraffe · 19/07/2019 08:01

I thought the suicide prevention guidelines advise against newspapers speculating about the reasons for suicide.

I think there’s a good reason it’s not widely splashed across the national press. Plenty of students with wobbly mental health don’t need to be hearing this story.

IWentAwayIStayedAway · 19/07/2019 08:17

Tragic story. I don't know this school but in others where the school does deal with the bullying ie expulsion. The bullies parents go through legal means and get decisions overturned by Dept Education!

AmphetamineGazelle · 19/07/2019 08:38

This poor boy. It reads very close to home especially when the school says there was no bullying record and other parents came out and said he was bullied. The way it was reported got me when the media said in front of shocked pupils and terrified pupils. (Paraphrase.) He felt like he had no option and then everyone is more concerned for themselves and what they saw or what their children saw.
We obviously don't know the full story but I hope someone was trying to help him.