My husband bathed the dog and.....

[DogbertDogglesworth]

Nearly killed her!
Me and my DH are both on annual leave from our jobs this week and today while I was pottering around in the garden, he decided to bath the dog.
Due to the warm weather we bath her in the garden using a short hosepipe which is attached to the kitchen mixer tap so the water is warm.
I looked round to see the dog, which is a great dane, sat absolutely covered in suds, she looked like a giant sad faced French poodle!
I turned my attention back to trimming my bush. Arf, and left him to it.
Some time later I went inside and sat down with a well earned cup of tea and the dog was laid on the lounge floor, probably dying of shame at the dog next door laughing at her sad faced French poodle impersonation.
Dog decides to come to me because I have biscuits.
Except, every time she tried to move forward on the wood flooring, she did a dancing on ice impression. Legs going everywhere but moving nowhere! I was so fascinated that I almost held a card up with 10/10 for presentation and style 😂
My DH came into the room and told me that after her bath, while he was grooming her, he thought her pads felt rough and dry, so he had slathered them with my hand cream!!
Words failed me as I got a bowl of soapy water and a cloth and washed her paws clean.
I sometimes wonder how my DH single brain cell hasn't died of loneliness!

Gosh what a mess of a paragraph I typed there.....in a nutshell - glad dog is ok

Have to agree with HiacinthBouquet I’m afraid. I simply cannot find anything remotely funny about your husbands stupid antics. I would be worried that the dog could have slipped and injured her legs, especially as she’s a Great Dane and obviously has long gangly legs. 😤

That made me laugh, OP! We have a 13 week old border collie and she has enough issues with our wooden flooring without handcream

OFCOL the OP is only posting because the dog didn't hurt itself. Jeez. Some people.

Laughing at the Bambi impersonation here anyway

I'd like to add that nothing was done out of cruelty or maliciousness.
His solitary brain cell told him that the dog might enjoy pampered paws.

Plus she was won round with a long walk and a few gravy bones from him. The tart!

reminds me of neighbours dog.
A cat ran across the road, neighbours dog follwed at high speed.
Cat ran under a parked car. Dog tried to follow. Didn't occur to dog that he is taller than the cat.
slammed into the side of the car and knocked himself out cold.

Poor dog, he was out like a light for minutes and poorly afterwards, but honestly he ran at full speed head first ito a stationary object, and it was very funny.

@steppermum
Poor thing. I know we shouldn't laugh but

Could have... what if... might have...

Except none of the bad things did happen did they? That's why it's funny.

And obviously I am not going to deliberately grease my hyperactive spaniel and let him loose on the laminate. It's amusing enough seeing him run like the clappers and go nowhere because he's on a lead attached to a non-moving human who is looking for their keys.

That would make me laugh to see @SoupDragon.
Your spaniel giving it scooby legs before collapsing in a heap with a 'i'm too knackered to walk now woman!' kind of look.

If only it did make him too knackered...

I've just returned from walking the dog and made a cuppa.
Gave dog her milk and biscuits ( goat milk for dogs ) and handed DH his.
I'm trying hard to stifle my laughter after watching my DH who is engrossed in his book absent mindedly pick up a dog biscuit, dunk it in his tea and then put it in his mouth, before leaping up and spitting it out with a ' what the bloody Hell have I just eaten?'
While the dog legged it with a custard cream 😂

Payback dear, payback.

Girl power rocks 😂

This morning I decided to clean the windows. I nipped inside to get something and when I returned I found the dog appeared to have taken offence that window cleaning took priority over playtime.
She made her feelings on the subject quite clear. 🤔😅

As a fellow great dane over, I need a pic of big ears and a huge whiffer.

If the dog had hurt itself I’m sure OP would be at the vets rather than posting on here about how funny it was

I would @HoppingGreen.
Then at the undertaker arranging my DH funeral.

Your wish is my command @WishingChair1😁

Heh! We have a Scooby Doo look-alike. This morning I had to restrain her with my knees to get her collar on her before she shot out the door (I'm glad someone likes going to work). As I released her, there was a full 5 seconds of on the spot sprinting as she couldn't get any grip on the laminate floor 🤣

The cat, meanwhile, had learned how to drift as she goes careening around the foot of the stairs before leaping up them. You'd never know she is 14!

😂 @TwattingDog

They're bonkers aren't they.

As requested @wishingchair1
😅

Has DH ever massaged Nivea in to your paws? I think that would be a suitable penance.

No @Weezol 😞
He does paint my toenails prior to going on holiday though as I make a right mess of it. 😀

My grandma's dog is also a Dane (we're a Dane family really, love them to pieces) and she slips and slides on the kitchen floor, it's adorable and hilarious at once. Yesterday on the way back from her walk she came barreling up the drive way, then had to skid to a stop because the front door wasn't open. Their previous Dane was huge (even for his breed) and had the deepest bark I've ever heard, when the postman would come around he'd leap up from his bed and stand on his hind legs against the window, literally all you got from the outside was this belly pressed up to the top of a 6ft window and a bark that shook the window fittings. We started calling him Herr Baskerville after that.
And, the two Danes they had before him were also big, and some kids decided, as a joke, to throw stones at the fence to make the dogs bark (not knowing how big they were) and shat themselves when two heads and two sets of paws appeared over the top of the fence.
Non Dane stories, my other grandma's cat was a house cat and wore a little extendable lead when out in the garden so he couldn't run off. He was in the garden, saw something that took his eye, leapt into the air to catch it, hit the end of the extendable lead and was jerked back to the ground.
In conclusion, our pets are gorgeous but mad.

@DrPepperPhD

😂 at your grandparents Danes and cat.

My parents used to have a Shi Tzu years ago. They also have a tiled hallway. They once polished the tiles and it was fine for the Shi Tzu so long as he was walking but it was hugely amusing to throw a treat for and watch him try to run for it, the faster his little legs went the more stationary he was. =D

That's what makes it all the funnier @BlackAmericanoNoSugar,
Giving it scooby legs and going nowhere fast.