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Original poster

Lonely and depressed - anyone wanna chat?

38 replies

Twinkle319 · 13/07/2019 18:56

So I've just had the worst 9 months of my entire life and its not over yet. In honesty I've survived suicide attempts (unfortunately) and I'm still in a living hell. I'm probably not the best person in the world to have a light hearted chat with but I'm so down right now and so lonely that even words on a screen are better than the silence. If you wanna chat then I've got absolutely nothing else in my life to be doing.

OP posts:
dementedma · 13/07/2019 19:00

Hey, you ok.? Are you safe?

harriers · 13/07/2019 19:01

Hi Op 👋🏻

I'll chat. I'm drinking a g&t, eating beef hula hoops and watching Gardener's World.

harriers · 13/07/2019 19:02

Sorry hit post by mistake...hope you're ok. Anything in particular you'd like to chat about?

DocusDiplo · 13/07/2019 19:03

I will share with you that ...I hate PMT.

Nicecupofcoco · 13/07/2019 19:04

Hi twinkle, sounds like your having a bad time of it! Hugs to you! What would you like to chat about? Would you like to chat about how your feeling? Or would you prefer to keep things light hearted?
What have you been doing today?

Teacakeandalatte · 13/07/2019 19:05

Hi I am just picking up dd from a beach party my day wasn't as exciting as hers though.

Disfordarkchocolate · 13/07/2019 19:09

I know how you feel, off work sick for 10 months now and looking at ill health retirement for a mental health issue.

Today I have tried chocolate as medication, in fact, I have done extensive trials over the last 10 months. It hasn't worked, but I do have an extra layer of padding in case of a fall.

Lobsterquadrille2 · 13/07/2019 19:10

Hi OP, I had my home group AA meeting this morning and met my 89 year old mother who's waiting for an operation for a prolapsed bowel this afternoon. And I have a constipated cat I'm a bit worried about. Have you eaten tonight?

PoppingOneOutIn2020 · 13/07/2019 19:11

Ok. Quick fire question, OP. Say the first answer that comes to your mind and elaborate. Ready?

If you could be any animal. What and why?

Freshstart40 · 13/07/2019 19:14

Hi OP. You're not alone. Please remember that.

dementedma · 13/07/2019 19:22

You there OP?

Original poster
Twinkle319 · 13/07/2019 19:28

awww guys you got me in tears again - just that someone bothered to reply. Thankyou.

Rough history - have been through 12 years of being manipulated for one thing or another but felt they were the best 12 years of my life. Ended extremely suddenly 9 months ago and have been a victim of harrassment ever since - horrific stories. Lost my business, lost my daughter, lost all my friends and now have absolutely no one or nothing. I sit in bed all day every day - I have a house but cant bear to be in it, I cant use things like the garden or the kitchen or the lounge - I sit in bed on the computer playing games that I am sick of. I dont speak to anyone from one week to the next, the last human person I saw or spoke to was 9 days ago. To top it all the person that done this to me has my dog and is ignoring all the court orders to give her back, the police wont get involved in it all and dont care and the courts just plod along like they have all year to type up a bloody order! I cant cope, I cant take it any more. I'm sorry to be so negative but its how things are right now.

OP posts:
Geraniumpink · 13/07/2019 19:37

Don’t be sorry about being negative. It would be almost impossible not to be after all that. It sounds like you’ve been through a horribly rough time. Have you food and water about? Are you eating and drinking at least?

dementedma · 13/07/2019 19:43

When you say you lost your daughter, do you mean you lost custody...or that she passed away? When did you last eat?

Teacakeandalatte · 13/07/2019 19:47

That all sounds shit OP you are doing well to find some online friends to chat to. What sort of games do you like?

Socksontheradiator · 13/07/2019 19:48

I'm glad you're here, OP Flowers

Original poster
Twinkle319 · 13/07/2019 19:49

My youngest daughter turned 18 in the middle of all this and decided that the mental breakdown I had as a result of what was going on meant that I dont love her and she has no time for me in her life. I have tried several times to try to build bridges with her but she has had me arrested for harrassment due to it - no charges, and then took out a non-mol order against me which was revoked at the hearing. She has been phoned whilst I was slipping into unconcsiousness from an overdose and when I was admitted to hospital for a heart condition and she requested not to be contacted again. She is supporting the person that has caused all this and telling lies. I've just filed a court motion for contempt of court on her for knowingly making false allegations under a statement of truth as she is telling the police she is at risk from me. All rubbish but its all part of the games that are being played.

OP posts:
SamBeckett · 13/07/2019 19:49

I am here too , talk to us.
Getting away from some one that is been nasty / mean / abusive is a huge step . WELL DONE . Tell us about your daughter, what happened

Original poster
Twinkle319 · 13/07/2019 19:52

The worst of it is that I am desperate to go back to life as it was only its never going to happen. I have nothing to move on for. It all feels like steps in the wrong direction. Its all so so wrong.

OP posts:
dementedma · 13/07/2019 19:54

Is the person you refer to your ex or current dp? Father of your daughter? Can you go and get some toast or a sandwich and a cup of tea, and come and talk to us? Life is shit sometimes but there is always hope.

SamBeckett · 13/07/2019 19:54

It must be very hard when your DCs seem to turn against you. But right now you are the most important person. You need to look after yourself and make sure you get all the help that you can , be that in RL or on line. Hopfully your DD will come round but you can not force it.

Teacakeandalatte · 13/07/2019 19:57

Of course it is very hard to give you advice but trying to get some more healthy normal things going on in your life is likely to be the best thing in the long term but you can do it at your own pace. If RL socialising is too much just chatting online is fine.

Original poster
Twinkle319 · 13/07/2019 20:00

I knew someone would ask - and I've had various responses to this from therapists but here you go. The person I am referring to is someone I took in 13 years ago under a private fostering agreeement. She was 14 at the time and claimed to have been through some shit but it turned out to all be lies. She homed in on me and dominated my world so she could be number 1. She lived at home until last year when suddenly I became public enemy number 1 and she has done everything she can to either kill me or put me in prison. Ive had the psychological abuse about how bad her life is and she needs to come home and I need to kidnap her and rescue her from I will never see her again and since February we are in the never see her again and court case after court case after court case. She knows she is making me desperately ill and chooses to do nothing about it - she is prepared to see me dead. That hurts - we were so close.

OP posts:
Original poster
Twinkle319 · 13/07/2019 20:03

Psychiatrist says its like battered wife syndrome - she ruled my life so much that I physically cant do anything without her. I done it all right - I got help and support but its so deep that nothing is helping, and I'm still living it.

OP posts:
Socksontheradiator · 13/07/2019 20:11

How difficult for you. These things take time. We're here, keep talking x

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