Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Lonely and depressed - anyone wanna chat?

38 replies

Twinkle319 · 13/07/2019 18:56

So I've just had the worst 9 months of my entire life and its not over yet. In honesty I've survived suicide attempts (unfortunately) and I'm still in a living hell. I'm probably not the best person in the world to have a light hearted chat with but I'm so down right now and so lonely that even words on a screen are better than the silence. If you wanna chat then I've got absolutely nothing else in my life to be doing.

OP posts:

dementedma · 13/07/2019 20:11

That sounds so tough. Do you have any family members to help you? Sorry, I always seem to post questions!

Original poster

Twinkle319 · 13/07/2019 20:17

No I have no family. When I chose to stand by this girl all those years ago my family advised me against it. They said she was trouble and would turn on me too one day. They were right. I've made contact with my family who said I chose her over them so now I have to get on with it. I've not been allowed to have any friends, or form a new relationship etc. I was owned 24/7. So now I have no one at all.

OP posts:

Teacakeandalatte · 13/07/2019 20:26

This all sounds very complex and I think the best person to advise you is some kind of professional person such as your therapist. What have they suggested so far? Do you see them regularly?

Original poster

Twinkle319 · 13/07/2019 20:30

Ive been through the mental health team 3 times and been discharged as depressed but nothing treatable as I am still wrapped up in it all. I've been through talking therapies and paid for two different counsellors and none of that has helped either. I still see one of the counsellors twice a week but its not helping. Makes it worse if anything because I am just told that there is nothing that can be done and I have to forget this girl and my daughter ever existed.

OP posts:

Socksontheradiator · 13/07/2019 20:38

Gosh that is so harsh, how awful. I'm sorry counselling isn't helping. Don't stop going, I'm sure it will be helpful just having someone to listen. What TV programmes do you like? Do you have any interests that you can follow at home while it's hard to get out?

dementedma · 13/07/2019 20:38

This all sounds very complicated and so difficult. Please focus on keeping yourself well and strong. If you have been a foster mum, you are clearly a loving and caring person. The world needs people like you. Dont give up on yourself

Nicecupofcoco · 13/07/2019 21:23

How sad twinkle, I'm so sorry to hear what your going through. Like pp said, you must be an amazing kind caring person to foster, and help somebody out when they needed it the most. It's now such a shame that your family can not be there for you.
You will get through this twinkle, I believe your strong enough too.
Keep asking for help, could you go back to your gp? Are you on any medication for depression or anything? If so do you find that helps.
When did you last go out? Even just a short walk or into your garden, just a change of scenery from the computers games as you mentioned.
We are all here if your happy to keep talking to us, your never alone.

DocusDiplo · 14/07/2019 08:15

Just move on. Your daughter will reach out to you when she's ready. You have nothing left to loser now. It will all get better from here as it can't get any worse.

Do you have a job? Can you redecorate in the future? You don't have to do anything now but you can plan some new colour schemes?

You will be OK OP you are strong. Worst is over now. Concentrate on yourself.

Sorry about your dog. I'm sure he or she is cared for so just try and look forward for now.

It's ok. You weren't to know this would happen but you're obviously a very compassionate person to take on a foster child.

It's ok OP. We are all here and not judging you. Just simple steps now. 3 meals. Showers. Walks. Library visit. It's alllll ok.

Your daughter may come.tk the u in the future.when she is ready. Just leave her.be now. Write your family a sorry letter explaining everything and be done with it. Build a fresh new future. You will be happy one day.

Original poster

Twinkle319 · 14/07/2019 08:35

so do i have a job? - no she closed my business down. write a sorry letter - she had me arrested for harassment (no charges). move on - I cant even get out of the bedroom cos the house is full of my life that was.

I know you're trying to help but ...

I'm going. Thanks for trying, I don't want to be rude and I don't want to cause an argument but until you have had your entire existence dominated by one oerson 24/7 and then get dropped from the highest point you have no idea. Thought I was a strong independant woman turns out I can't even make a cup of tea. Move on - there is nothing to move on to ..... she destroyed everything, me with it.

OP posts:

Freshstart40 · 14/07/2019 10:24

Morning OP, how are you feeling this morning? We are all still here...

DocusDiplo · 15/07/2019 08:14

It's fine not to listen to posters like me - you're right we don't understand. Things will get better for you - keep hope.

DocusDiplo · 15/07/2019 08:16

And I meant sorry letter to your family. I feel like you need someone - and deserve someone to support you. MN is always open to business
Lots of people have to start from scratch.

Original poster

Twinkle319 · 15/07/2019 09:55

@DocusDiplo. I know you meant nothing but good. I'm sorry its just incredibly difficult for me right now.
I have spoken to my mum however the situation is that the foster daughter made an allegation against me and I was arrested. I was refused bail and remanded to prison, I spent 2 months in prison waiting for trial at which point the CPS declared they had no evidence on me and it was all dropped and I was released. During that time the foster daughter hacked my mum's accounts and caused trouble for her with another member of the family. My mum blames me. I've sent her the evidence to say I was in prison at the time and it wasn't me but she refuses to believe me and says its all too much and she doesn't want to know. Hence no family support. Actually no support at all. I am still sat in my bed, still not seen or spoken to anyone, still not bothered to shower or even do anything. Its just hell on earth.

OP posts:

Flip

1 2