Come and talk to me if you have an 11 year old son...

[formerbabe]

And reassure me that mine is normal!

He doesn't want to do anything at home that isn't screen based! It's driving me mad.

What do your boys do at home? Mine is really sporty, he's happiest in a field with a football and his friends. However, at home there's literally nothing he wants to do that isn't Xbox, tablet or phone. He's too old for toys, isn't into Lego...I've suggested endless activities but he's not interested.

Obviously, I encourage him to go out to the park which he likes as long as his friends are there, but it's not always practical if weather is bad or his friends aren't around.

It's nearly the summer holidays and I can't bear the thought of him staring at screens for hours.

It's so difficult to get him motivated to do anything. If I suggest days out, it's met with eye rolls, sulking and moodiness. God forbid, I tell him we're popping out to the shops! I feel like I'm being held prisoner because just getting him to get dressed and come out with me is an absolute battle.

This morning at 11am, he was told to get dressed as we were going out, this ended up with him stomping upstairs, muttering under his breath about how he hates us

Have the teenage years come early?

Help!

Jumping on for ideas and hopefully to contribute tomorrow :) I have a screen obsessed 10yo as well. Starting secondary in September so I'm making plans for the summer to get his interests a bit more varied. I would love to break him out of this rut for a new start.

I'll add I'm just not willing to go cold turkey on the screens as DH and I use them a lot too - not perfect no - but we think there are positives as well, so will persevere with our plans :)

I just told my 11 year old boy about this thread (while he was on his iPod) and he asked if there was an 11yearoldboysnet where he could post about mums spending too much time on mumsnet.

FFS. Do not let him on his bike without a helmet.
I'm on holiday but if I was at home I would upload photos of 3 helmets I keep for when I do the "wear a bike helmet" talk with my pupils - all 3 with huge cracks down them where they took the impact instead of the skulls of the children who were wearing them. All children I have known and all children who were ok only because of their helmets. I could also upload a photo of a young man I know who is now permanently brain damaged because...he wasn't wearing a helmet.
Drivers in this country are utterly ignorant of cyclists which makes helmets even more important. And no, you shouldn't have to worry about drivers just like women shouldn't have to worry about walking down a dark alley late at night but I know which decisions I'd rather make.

@whattodo2019

• Take all the devises away for the summer. You will have a much happier child at the end of it. I've just done it with my son who broke up a week ago. Surprisingly it's worked!!!!*

Can you tell me more about this?

Did you give any warning, did you remove them completely out of sight? Did they whine 100 times a day for the first 3 days? Did they suddenly not seem to mind? Was it hard for them to fall back on old favourites? How much tech were they used to having before it was completely banished? Will you ever give it back, and if so when and how much? Etc.

To the OP,

We introduced Pokemon go, which was a gamble as they weren't Pokemon fans, but once they got started they were hooked and now actually ask if we can go to the park to walk the dog (two pokestops, a gym and a battle ground at the park!)

It gets them outside and we stop for ice creams and sometimes take bikes with us, so feels much healthier than sat indoors on tech.

My ds is 14 and is very much like this, has been for a couple of years now... You have to literally drag him out of bed otherwise you wouldn't see him till nearly midday and thats only because he's hungry!!! sorry not got much to add in way of advice that other people haven't already said, just wanted you to know your not on your own with this and unfortunately it doesn't get much better any time soon

I just told my 11 year old boy about this thread (while he was on his iPod) and he asked if there was an 11yearoldboysnet where he could post about mums spending too much time on mumsnet

DS1 is 10.7 & I can very much relate to this thread! Out & about he's fine & has loads of interests, including football, tennis, tag etc.

We also go on lots of days out- parks, theme parks, walks, bike rides etc.

But we can't be out all the time & when we're at home his first thought is playing Forza/Fifa on Xbox or watching it on YouTube! Trying to encourage board games, Lego, reading & also a day in the holidays where each of the 3 Dses can research, cook & serve their own meals. Plus some 11+ papers in preparation for September.

Finding it tricky though as youngest DS is 5 so they're not always into the same things.

One thing that is working is taking DS1's friend if we're meeting up with people with younger DC, so then he won't get too bored.

If your ds has grown out of toys allow him to list them on eBay. Can be quite time consuming when you add in photography packaging and posting. With the added bonus that your house gets de cluttered and he gets a bit of cash.