Which inanimate objects do you have an irrational hatred of?

[ThePinkCushion]

It's acoustic guitars for me. If I see someone with one in public you can pretty much guarantee that its owner is going to start playing the bloody thing even though no one asked.

Shower cubicles are another. Why are they so bloody hard to clean? Between the glass and the little crevices. I hate them.

I need time to think of others though I'm sure it's a long list. What objects drive you crazy?

Electric toothbrush - you just have to glance at it and it topples over.

Top heavy toppling twat.

Anything cutsie. I like cute, cute cats, cute toddlers (for the 20 minutes a day they manage it), lots of cute things. But I fucking loathe cutsie bollocky anything. Mummy’s little princess, Powered by fairydust, hug often, bestest friends, Prosecco o’clock, Live, love, fuck off!

And when I am crowned empress of all I survey, kitchen and bathroom designers will be made to install their designs in their own home and clean them for 6 months before they are allowed near mine.

I agree with pretty much every one of these, but particularly bloody packaging, that's impossible to remove, chip, chip, chipping away at it until the table is covered with bits of hacked off plastic and the bloody thing is still hermetically sealed.

Personalised number plates.

Ooooh me too! Especially the ones that have been bastardised (e.g. HI5 BMW when it wants to be HIS BMW). We have two culprits in the office.

My Dyson vacuum died after ten years backbreaking service. Good. I hated the heavy fucker. I wanted a Miele to replace it. DH balked at the price. Bought a little cheap one. It sucked. But not in a vacuum way. DH then came home with a Henry. We didn't have a row but he does all the hoovering now.

Shower curtains - who wants a cold, wet thing sticking to them in shower. They make me wanna barf.
Christmas jumpers, Christmas earrings and general Christmas. If anyone invites me out around Xmas and says oooo let's wear Christmas jumpers they are no longer in my life.

General Christmas attire that was meant to say.

Plate/mugs/bowls that tell you what do do.

If you give me a plate labelled 'Spaghetti' I'm bloody well going to have cous-cous on it.

Sovereign rings and any jewellery with mum/sister/dad etc on it. Fucking awful.

The wee tube of eye cream that I have for my dog's gammy eye. It's a tricky bastard - as soon as you open the lid it comes snaking out at a ridiculous speed even though I'm not squeezing the tube. Messy, ridiculous, stupid tube.

Nic-nacs / collectables - houses full of nic-nacs give me claustrophobia. I literally feel tense and panicky surrounded by all those inanimate objects. I can feel dust settling on them and the weight of their existence dragging me down. Hard to explain but it gives me 'the fear'.

I have completely taken against those stone circle patio kits you see in DIY stores. I just loathe them beyond belief.

@shinynewapple - ear stretchers are those things that take a small hole in your ear (the size for an ordinary earring) and gradually stretch it out until it is huge. How-to.

Easy open packaging.

My arse!

Personalised number plates.

Yes! In particular the really shit ones using numbers and the bolts to represent letters. Why bother?

I once knew a woman whose whole adult family had plates, then when she had another baby, changed her own (very badly done) name one that looked more like a google autofill password than the actual name it was meant to be.

sDTG thank you - amazing!! Never heard of or seen that before . Not sure I'd want to either!

Tech that says plug and play ... not saying you have to download some software and spend ages going through numerous menus to get it to work.

The wind. Drives me crazy, all the doors banging and everything blowing on the floor. Aaaagh, hate it!

I can relate. Even my DS, 2, shouts at the wind. “Stop it, you!!!”

Balloons. Cannot stand them. The squeaking makes me want to peel the flesh off my face

@LaMarschallin

I think chaos is a typo because the saying is 'chaps my hide'.

I can't stand tights. Horrible clingy bastards that make a horrible feeling rmwhen they scritch together. Shudder.

The soft rubbery bits on my Bluetooth headphones.
The little buggers won't stay on the headphones. No matter how carefully I store them, when I next want to use them one is invariably missing so I have one comfortable ear and one ear being poked.
Recently I took them off and wondered for the next few minutes why I felt oddly congested and the world sounded strange.
Yes, one of the rubbery bastards was stuck in my ear!
Yesterday ds found one in the downstairs toilet. Don't ask me how it got there. It was, apparently, sat jauntily atop a loose screw DH had left in there (don't ask).
I thought I'd won by buying a whole bag of the buggers from Amazon but now they see it as a sort of challenge.
I swear, if we ever move house we're going to find a tonne of hair pins, nerf bullets and ear buds lurking.

Mugs with stupidly small handles that you can only get one finger in. I always feel I like I'm going to drop it and/or spill coffee all over myself.

Has anyone mentioned bloody child proof medicine bottles, bleach bottles, basically anything that says "child proof". Like hell. After wrestling with the damn things for an hour (squeeze where the arrows indicate and then turn clockwise - one handed?!) I used to ask for assistance from my child.

And keep these items in a high place.

The last was mouthwash!!!

I too dislike Mary Jane shoes.

QuestionableMouse

I think chaos is a typo because the saying is 'chaps my hide'.

OH! Ah. Yes - that actually makes sense. Luckily I've not tried it out

Artificial flowers