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Original poster

Mummy’s boy/daddy’s girl - any truth in it?

38 replies

Mardybummode · 01/07/2019 14:17

Please bear with me I’m rambling Grin

DD is 4 months old and since she was born (as soon as we had our first visitor) she was referred to as a daddy’s girl.

I don’t know if that’s just stuff people say or if there’s actually any truth in it.

I do have PND and I wonder if me and DD would have been closer had she been a boy. When people used to say it is just think to myself, “fine I’ll just fuck off then”

But thinking about it, I do prefer my dad to my mum although I’m not close to either. I think that’s just because my mum isn’t a nice person though.

Thoughts? Is there any truth in it?

OP posts:
Original poster
Mardybummode · 01/07/2019 14:20

Oh I should also add that when MIL came to visit when DD was two days old she said “I was lucky I had 4 bits and you know what boys are like with their mums, mummy’s boys”

Not really what I wanted to hear when I’d gone through pregnancy, birth, a third degree tear and episiotomy. DD wouldn’t breastfeed either making me feel more rejected.

OP posts:
SallyWD · 01/07/2019 14:23

Oh it's nonsense! Every family is different. My DD is most definitely a mummy's girl. She always has been. My friend's DS is definitely a daddy's boy. It depends so much on personalities, family dynamics etc. Not what genitals people have.

Illstartexercisingtomorrow · 01/07/2019 14:23

No truth in it. People will say loads of crap now you are a mum.

I’m way closer to my mum. I have two DDs they are close to me and their dad. I think people like the idea of a little girl being close to her dad.

Sorry you have PND I’ve been there. I hope you are getting help?

Interested in this thread?

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CormoranStrike · 01/07/2019 14:25

No truth in it at all - enjoy your baby just as she is and build your own relationahip

MymbleClement · 01/07/2019 14:35

Definitely no - I spent the whole of my childhood railing against my dad's Victorian authoritarianism. Interestingly it didn't seem to extend to my brother in the same way. So it's probably not a surprise that I think 'daddy's girl' and 'mummy's boy' are restrictive and sexist.

Apileofballyhoo · 01/07/2019 14:39

I was definitely not Daddy's girl.

Stillstrawberrywater · 01/07/2019 14:45

No truth in it at all. Its more about common interests, interaction, playing with them, than gender.

Jellylegsni · 01/07/2019 14:45

Load of rubbish. I have a 4 year old DD and I'd say she has a equally good bond with both me as she does with her father. My relationship with her is different to her father's relationship with her - but that is because we are different people.

Original poster
Mardybummode · 01/07/2019 14:47

Thanks all. That’s what I needed to hear.

I had thought it was sexist bollocks but as I’ve struggled with DD and going by what my parents and in-laws say I was starting to wonder if it was true.

Although DH believes everything his parents say 🙄 and I think a lot of dads get the credit for doing the basics but that’s another issue

OP posts:
Tiredmum100 · 01/07/2019 14:48

It's the same as being told (as I was, as a mother of two boys) "a son's a son until he finds a wife, a daughter's a daughter for life" 🙄. Thanks for that useless bit of info. I'm female and closer to my mum if that helps. Ignore it.

Original poster
Mardybummode · 01/07/2019 14:48

@Illstartexercisingtomorrow - I’ve been to the doctors and got prescribed some antidepressants but I’m still really struggling, mainly with isolation

OP posts:
PrtScn · 01/07/2019 14:50

I was a daddy's girl but my sister is closer to my mum. My son is currently a mummy's boy but currently because I have the boobs. I expect when he's older he's going to be closer with his dad, it's all about personalities and interests I think.

Original poster
Mardybummode · 01/07/2019 14:50

@Tiredmum100 - yes I hate that expression as well! My mum firmly believes in it.

Only reason we don’t see in laws that much is because of distance and DH is really close to his parents.

I wish people would stop saying this crap

OP posts:
MarshaBradyo · 01/07/2019 14:52

No truth, of course they can be close but lots of very close mother daughter relationships

Minai · 01/07/2019 14:56

No, not at all. My ds1 (aged 2) is very attached to me and I know he loves me but he adores his Daddy and has always shown a clear preference for him. I had pnd too and I did worry if it was something I had done. It wasn’t, we have a fantastic relationship. My ds2 is definitely a mummy’s boy. He is very clingy for me. I have done nothing differently this time (I also have pnd this time too unfortunately) but at least I know that wasn’t what caused the daddy preference in ds1.

Please don’t worry about it. I don’t think there is any truth to it and regardless of whether a child is a mummy or daddy’s boy they will still love you and know who their mummy is. I hope you feel better soon.

Sauvignonblanket · 01/07/2019 15:04

I have two DD and its nonsense. People do struggle with what to say about babies though, it's easy to jump to platitudes.

Sicario · 01/07/2019 15:09

So sorry about your PND. You've had a very traumatic birth experience to the extent that you are probably suffering from PTSD or C-PTSD. I do hope your GP (and indeed health visitor) are clued up about this and that you are receiving the care and support that you need.

Of course it has been harder for you to your wonderful new daughter - you went through hell to bring her into the world and the joy of your baby will have been marred by the injuries and psychological trauma.

People going on about mummy's boy/daddy's girl are just blathering about their own experiences. Flowers Cake

tabulahrasa · 01/07/2019 15:11

I do think children go through a phase around toddler/pre-school age where they’re a bit more interested in the opposite sex parent, but it seems to co-incide with when they’re sorting that sort of stuff out, what sex is, what sex they are themselves etc...

But as babies, they’re just babies and over a whole lifetime it’s nonsense.

Beamur · 01/07/2019 15:11

No truth in it at all.
I was definitely Mummy's girl (never been close to my Dad)
DD was totally Mummy's girl until she was about 3 or 4 when she finally decided she liked Daddy...

P1nkHeartLovesCake · 01/07/2019 15:16

I don’t thinks it’s always nonsense.

Growing up I always wanted Dad, Mum could rarely do right. Even now I am much closer to dad. My brothers on the other hand have always been more for mum, possibly because she babied them more than dad did.

With my dc, DD only ever wants dh. If his in the room she will crawl past me, to get to him. When dh goes to work she will sit by the window and watch his car go, if I go out she cares not.
My older boy will take attention from anyone, my younger boy only ever wants me nobody else is acceptable.

WinterWife · 01/07/2019 15:24

My LG adores her daddy and he can do no wrong in her eyes. Cried multiple times due to her behaviour towards me, it's as if she wouldn't care if I was dead or alive and all I ever get from people is the 'she's a daddies girl' bullshit. I don't know what it is but I don't believe every little girl prefers daddy and every little boy prefers mammy.

Its more about common interests, interaction, playing with them, than gender.
Also not true in our case. I do everything with her including 70% of the playing, interacting and childcare and yet she still prefers DH.

KipperTheFrog · 01/07/2019 15:28

Mum of 2 girls. DD1 has preferred daddy since she was about 1. DD2 is 2 and very much a mummies girl. Going by the old saying I should be redundant!

BillywigSting · 01/07/2019 15:34

Absolute bollocks.

I'm equally close to both of my parents and always have been. My friend wants nothing to do with her arse hole father and loves her mum to bits.

Ds goes through phases of preferring me or dp depending on who chastised him last

I think it's about personality as much as anything tbh

mrvsmrs · 01/07/2019 15:37

@Mardybummode my DD is 1000% a mummy's girl, but that is because I do everything for her / with her!

Daddy is her favourite when he has ice cream or sweets 🤣

A BABY cant have a favourite parent, well they can actually usually the mother xx

ignatiusjreilly · 01/07/2019 16:59

I had PND after my DD was born, and I remember feeling so worried that it would affect her attachment to me, and that I'd never have the close relationship I have with my older DS.

I needn't have worried - she is a total mummy's girl and the PND doesn't seem to have affected her at all. I hope that's some consolation to you as I'm sure you're worrying about the same thing.