This will cheer y'all up........what will nursing / retirement homes be like in the future ?

[SkintAsASkintThing]

Something happened that got me thinking, I went to pick up my friend for a walk out. When I got there they were having a wartime dance / afternoon tea thing / sing song as they often do on Sunday.

Friend couldn't wait to get out of there and when we did had a rant about having old stuff forced on her. She isn't old (( well to me she isn't )) having recently turned 70. But poor health, mobility and lack of family have forced the decision on her.......she's right tho. Vera Lynn et Al won't mean a thing to her. She'd have only been 40 in 1990. She's a huge fan of the smiths and U2, she likes exotic foods which isn't being catered for and trying different things but feels she's being forced into a box which isn't built for her.

As I said.it got me thinking. What will they be.like in 40years or so ?? Will we be raving in the corridors wearing day Glo tracksuits ? >

Everyone will be fighting over whether to play clubland or kerrang

I strongly hope that pentobarbital and legally assisted suicide will be an option for people who don't want to live long enough to endure nursing homes, especially as retirement will soon be a thing of the past.

Will you be retiring to Texas?

I do find the Vera Lynn effect odd. Elderly people today would have been children in the war, I suspect most of their tastes are ten or fifteen years later. But once we get to 80, we all love Vera :o

I think (and secretly hope) it'll be like a games convention with decent internet and lots of access to online gaming!

As someone who is frequently visiting care homes this annoys me already. Similar to the TV license debate currently.

For so long we have had the idea that old people = war time / rationing etc. It's increasingly not the case anymore but the cultural mindset hasn't moved on.

For what it's worth though the care homes of the future will only accommodate the extremely challenging and sick. Rapid advances in moving and handling technology, equipment and alert systems and an elderly population skilled in using internet/ smartphones etc means that only people who really can't remain at home will need residential care.

Good point regarding the lack of need in the future....... personally I hope common sense will have prevailed by then and suicide is legal for those who want it.

I'm actually thinking of putting a complaint in on friends behalf or asking if she wants to as when we returned (( friend was merry but not drunk by any stretch. )) She was told off like a toddler and accused of being drunk. Really took the shine off her day :(

I see her a few times a week as my friend took her dog (( another thing, why aren't more animal friendly by now ?? )) So I take him up and I'll push her to wherever she wants to go. I'm getting quite.sad thinking of the ones who don't have visitors now, that could be me in 40years having Vera Lynn and indoor bowls forced on me :(

We will all be queuing up for a lethal injection, whilst listening to Nothing Matters. Because hose that choose live out their lives naturally will be denounced as 'oxygen thieves' and left with less help than the elderly and vulnerable get now. They will be seen as drains on society. If they don't like it, they can die.
That is my vision of my dystopian future

I find this extraordinary

presumably there will be some other residents of that age?

I've nothing against a bit of old music but it seems bizarre not to have anything that resonates with someone her age. I'm 43....I always imagined there'd be Prodigy and Paul van Dyk etc being played if I had to go into a home in future.

P.S. Would she like the Killers set from Glastonbury - they had Pet Shop Boys and Johnny Marr join them.

I'm completely with you. My dd in law is in a home, his time is the 60s not the war. They have Vera Lynn tributes, he asked for a more relevant 60/70s music and was told it was too racy.
Near me a home invited pole dancers. There was uproar saying it was inappropriate, my FIL said he'd love to go to that home, social media however campaigned and got rid of the manager. Old people aren't allowed to have sexual feelings or be people.

Yes the Vera Lynn effect is odd. My parents are in their 70's and we're born after the war, their 'time' was the 60's/70's and Dad used to be in a group so doubt he would be chuffed at having Vera pushed on him.

All the punk generation are around 60ish now

Skint that's absolutely dreadful (unless she was swearing and ranting which I highly doubt). Does she have any other options open to her? They should be working hard to retain her autonomy and if she likes a few drinks with a friend, that's part of it! I appreciate she's living in close proximity with others so has to be extra cautious but really?!

And my dad's a few years younger than your friend. His era is the seventies which really doesn't seem that long ago. I'm quite teary at the thought of him being bossed around and having warbly war singers that his own parents would have found old fashioned pushed on him.

Definitely encourage her to complain or support her to move
There must be a business opportunity here, but I suppose its not financially viable.

I managed care homes for about 18 years and this very thing occurred to me about ten years ago-that reminiscence groups and singers (that we paid to have in) would always concentrate on the war and that era-totally inappropriate for half of the residents.
I started going for much more variety. The most popular thing was a guy that sang songs from all the decades 50's to 90's.

Indoor sports day was also popular- carpet bowls and skittles and what not. Competition was fierce!

We also did things like film club and art club-smaller groups but more specialised. I hate that one size fits all thing when it blatantly doesn't.

God knows what we will have when we are old.Ed Sheerhan and Coldplay tributes? Ugh.

On another note we had cheese and wine nights and lots of parties with a Fair bit of drinking. Not frowned apon at all (though we had to remind some of them about the effects on medication-but ultimately their choice).
Dogs visiting most definitely encouraged!
We also had Zumba gold (one old lady broke her hip during that 🙈) and gentle yoga so more modern 'lifestyle' things...care homes that don't do these things on principle are not catering for their customers needs which they should be according to the regulator.
Definitely complain if your relative of friends care home isn't offering or respecting her choices.

The thread title is wrong as this is actually a bit of a depressing topic and I feel very sorry for your friend.
I'm wondering if there would be a different place that would suit her better.

I reckon there will be online gaming homes where you just get left playing computer games all day with the odd wash and meal. Doesn't sound too bad to me.

We took DMIL to a Showaddywaddy concert for her 80th last year. Much more her style than Vera Lynn. Fortunately she's still in good health but can't see her being happy in the sort of home her own DM was in 20 years ago.

I agree with you. In my village we have a senior Christmas dinner. They always play the old war songs at the end for a sing a long. It’s dire. You have to be 65 to qualify for a place at the meal, and i can’t get my head round it. Seems so odd when these folk weren’t of that era,

I think one of the major issues is that there are fewer people who have any experience of communal or institutional living. This might be a good thing.

My dad was at boarding school, then National Service for two years, then a residential college for three years. Living communally was completely normal to him. But he's 87. My 80 year old FIL didn't do national service, though his university was residential. I can't see our generation finding the compromises of institutional life easy to adjust to. So i think 'nursing homes' will look different.

I also think the end of the antibiotic era may 'solve' a lot of the issues...

I've been thinking this for a while! We'll all be fucked, we rely on technology so much for entertainment (how many hours a day can I waste on MN!!) ... when our dexterity and eyesight goes, how will we navigate Netflix and Social media?

There’s actually some pretty good care homes out there. Yes, there is a tendency for pre-pschkaged reminiscing activities but many are more personalised. Sadly, the level of dependency in care homes has risen and most are caring for incredibly frail people.
The actual sadness is those left in their own homes who have advanced dementia or mobility limitations and are allocated two quarter hour visits from careers a day. No bat, no cooked supper, a microwaved lunch they can’t eat, no visitors at all. Vera Lyn feels almost kind.

I think they'll be better catered. I cannot see anyone I know who is in their 60's tolerating such tedium, and the younger the generation, the less they will take of it.

Personally I'm hoping for personal care robots so I can stay at home and do as I please, I hate the idea of communal living.