should you Love you Spouse or child more ???

[daddykool99]

this question is being asked to show other peoples opinion to a couple who argue constantly about the question , obviously they BOTH think their opinion in RIGHT !!!! (pending divorce)

Your spouse is an adult, so the love you have with them is of a different nature.
The children are actually part of you, they need you and your love for them is unconditional, because they are literally your responsibility for ever.
I would save my child first if both were drowning, although hope I could save both.
There's three children in my family though so Dad better be a good swimmer.... Which child to save first? That's a harder question....

I agree with all perspectives in the above comments .. I can see where they coming from. I think what is wrong here is getting to the point where you start comparing these two incomparable types of love. The only similarities is that you would risk everything for both to keep them safe and happy. In my opinion you should avoid discussing these kind of questions because no matter how you approach this it will end badly. I hope things get better for both of you :)

A slightly different take on it- marriage vows say ‘forsaking all others’. At our pre wedding meeting with the vicar he emphatically stated that this includes children I.e. in a house fire your duty is to get your spouse out first followed by anyone else!

My child; it’s a completely different type of love but if I had to choose it’d be my child very time and I hope he’d say the same

Love my children a million times more than anyone else on earth.

As others have said, it's a stupid question which suggests whoever is asking it is quite immature

I love my children more.

Those saying the love their children and DH in different ways aren't answering the question asked.

And I think everyone should love their children more. And I judge people who don't.

I think it is normal to love your dc most. I think there's something a bit worrying about people who don't.

Completely different kind of love and not comparable.

Your child.

You (if a woman) carried them for months on end. You see them from the most vulnerable to hopefully independent adults. You see them grow into a personality.

Your partner you meet and fall for. They don't need you, butvthey want and appreciate you.

I'd say men would be more inclined to love spouse more and mothers more inclined their children.

At our pre wedding meeting with the vicar he emphatically stated that this includes children I.e. in a house fire your duty is to get your spouse out first followed by anyone else!

That's batshit in my opinion. I didn't make those vows in any case, but I'd judge anyone who would save their spouse in that situation over and above their children.

Don’t believe any vicar said that, I’m afraid!

Just because you might not be able to stretch to nuanced thinking and intellectual honesty/honest reflection, doesn’t mean the rest of us have to comply with your narrow and shallow powers of perception.

They are two distinctly different relationships, two distinctly different types of love, and the question is not definitively answerable.

The vast majority of people will never have to choose between saving their child’s life or that of their spouse. Most people will prove their love for their child(ren) and spouse in hundreds of little ways throughout their lives, most of which are not in any way directly comparable.

(Above is in reply to Morgan)

@Morgan12 and I judge people who don’t understand the nuances of different relationships for being a bit thick.

We all judge each other, I guess. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I dont know who you should love more, but for me, Hands down my DC over everyone.

Im far from the "live and breathe for kids yada yada" type, but the love there is a whole different ball game.

The question is should you love your child or spouse more.

You should love your child more.

Simple.

No need for name calling is there really? Although it did give me a laugh.

Also I clearly know there are different kinds of love ffs. Are you honestly implying I don't?

I do love my husband. I love my family, friends and pets blah blah blah.

But overly explaining all these different kinds of love etc wasn't answering the question.

I answered the question.

You should prioritise the needs of your children for a relatively short space of time, compared to how long you will likely be together with your spouse.

That’s not the same as saying you should love them more.

The question is unanswerable.

One might be able to answer it if one had a clearly set out argument defining a) what is meant by love and b) what the wider context is.

But then it would be about the specific circumstances, and not about loving one more than the other.

Ok we will agree to disagree then.

I will always love and prioritise my children more than my DH. Even when they are grown up and left home. But that's not me saying I don't love him.

I do get what your saying though, I'll just never feel that way.

Anotheremma summed it up very well.

It's a silly question not just because they are two different types of love, but also because you can't attach "should" to an involuntary feeling. You can't decide who you love nor much you love them.
You can't say "I should love my children more, therefore I will"

I don't know about should,but like i said I do love DD more.

And there are may situations when a parent needs to pick between a child or an adult(sometimes even life or death questions). Sometimes the pick kids, sometimes they pick partners. Sometimes it's a the right choice and everyone is better off, sometimes it has devastating consequences (regardless of choice). It's a bit naive and sheltered to think you'd never have to choose.

I love my children more but I prefer DH.