Do you still have feelings for your first boyfriend?

[knittedsock]

I just woke up from a dream about my first boyfriend whom I was infatuated with... 20 years ago! He was a real arrogant arse, but I dream about him now and again. I woke up today with a thought of “awhhh what if ”

I have a dp! What is wrong with me?!

Yes, my first serious BF from age 17/19. We reconnected on FB a couple of years back and talk regularly. He was genuinely lovely, he hinted at still having feelings for me and I toyed with the idea too but upon talking more realised he is still a mummy's boy with a bit of a gambling problem who drinks too much.

I've made him sound awful, despite all of this he is a good person. He takes his now elderly mum and her twin on holiday, treats women properly and works hard. We talk quite frequently and get on well as friends but there is still the temptation to go back to romance sometimes when I'm feeling lonely.

Yes, but different feelings, mine was a close friend before we were a couple, after we broke up we remained close friends and occasional FWBs.

Very strong feelings. Of hatred and anger. He’s a cunt.

30 years ago, I believe he lives in a van now and spends a lot of time at festivals jumping about wearing silly hats.

I do, I was so obsessed with him at the time, I've never felt so strongly about anyone else, ever.
Unfortunately, he was somewhat of a player and probably wouldn't even remember me.

Nah. I married him and had three DC with him, divorced five years ago. Nothing has changed, he’s still the same irritatingly tedious person. He still hasn’t moved forward at all in life, still makes lots of excuses. Don’t regret leaving him whatsoever.

Yes.... but then we "reconnected" 12 years ago (in our late 20's, after almost a decade apart) and now have 3 kids

@TeapotofTerror teenagers feel emotions more strongly than adults. That's why that first live is often so consuming.

Yes, he was lovely but was a mummy's boy. As a pp said I didn't want her as a MIL.

We went to each other's weddings. I occasionally text him to say happy birthday or similar but we've not seen each other for about 8 years.

The one after - he was nice at the time, and we were good friends too, but later his now wife didn't like him having anything to do with me, so I've not seen him for 20 years.

And not a boyfriend but a very enjoyable fling - in my final year at uni, I only discovered about 2 weeks ago that he died in 2008. I often wondered what happened to him, I don't know how he died, but he was a bit of a troubled soul so I wonder if he took his own life. Very sad.

I think of him sometimes, I tell young women I care about not to waste their energy and talent on anyone at that age but themselves...
But yes, I still think about my first proper boyfriend! I loved him very much, and that time in my life was a very happy, special one. Even though I have a lovely family with someone else now I still notice his birthday when I turn the calendar over every year, and certain pieces of music feel like some kind of thought adultery!

No way.

He’s now gay.