What is really stopping us from feeding our children healthy food?

[LilMissRe]

I saw an article today about obesity levels in little children and how it is increasing to dangerous levels. I'm intrigued as this is for a project I'm doing to graduate from university- hopefully this year!

The concern here is that, well, little ones (0-5 yrs) have the least say in what they can eat and drink, and as many don't start school officially till 4-5- schools can't really intervene and so a lot of experts place the blame entirely on us parents- especially mothers.

In my opinion I think time and marketing of unhealthy food is a big player here and is to blame, but I can't just use my opinion and would be very grateful for your opinions and experiences on this.

What is really stopping us from feeding our children healthy food?

Thank you!

Nothing except the will to produce nutritious food.

I am probably going to be flamed here but it seems like so many of us have lost pride in keeping a nice healthy home.

I work outside the home, as did my Mum and I am no domestic goddess and neither was my Mum however my brothers, sisters and I have a pride in keeping the home and feeding our family good food.

People just don't seem to want to make the effort and point to convenience food as the issue.

I can very easily buy some fish, chicken fillets, chops etc and cook with a few baby potatoes, broccoli and green beans in as long as it takes to cook a pizza. Admittedly it is more expensive but shopping in Aldi and Lidl allows you to eat well for less

@LilMissRe I'd advise looking at the literature available on this subject rather than asking an Internet forum. There's research available that looks at obesity as an eating disorder. It's a condition influenced by multiple psychosocial and biological factors and can't be pinned down to one or two causal factors.

I think an earlier poster had it right when they said people who don't eat healthily themselves, out of laziness, comfort eating or ignorance are not going to prepare healthy food for their children.

I also think there's a ridiculous sense of bloody mindedness among people, particularly in the UK: if I'm told to eat healthily, do more exercise, cook from scratch where possible, I'm not going to it because no one tells me what to do/life's too short/other people do unhealthy things like drink or smoke, so why shouldn't I? It's like they're a load of toddlers. It's a similar thing to the teachers' thread on here: nobody tells my Jonny what to do, even if he's punched another child in the head without provocation. It kind of drives me crazy.

If I want to be 30 stone, why shouldn't I, no one's business but mine. And it's my child and if I allow them to get to ten stone at ten years old that's my business too. Except that it's child abuse and costs the country massively in weight-related illnesses going forward. And yes, other people contribute to their illnesses too, but that's no argument.

And our media panders to this kind of thinking by being outraged on our behalf about civil liberties left, right and centre, when it's really just people being unreasonable fuckers.

graphista the comment about not all foods being equal was made in response to a poster who said she doesn't restrict her DS's access to chocolate - she then went on to say that she only serves him controlled portions. Nothing wrong with that but unrestricted access to chocolate it ain't.

There are some foods we need to be aware of and we need to somehow pass that information on to our children. Personally I treat a glass of water and a Starbucks frappucino (300-400 calories) differently. This is not demonising, it's knowledge and power.

@jocktamsonsbairns huge variation regionally. When dd started school where we were living at the time entire county was packed lunches only because none of the schools had kitchens! Apparently they were all ripped out in the 80's due to a tory council cost cutting. Total pita as schools also were very much "lunchbox police" and some of the disallowed foods were just bloody ridiculous - eg no cheese because too fatty! Hated it. We weren't there long thankfully. Next 2 schools were far better, but at high school stage it was "chips with everything" again 🙄

One of my schools was especially good as the head cook was amazing! There were only 2 options per day and a 4 week menu rotation though so 40 meals in total , with slight variations in the summer to lighter fare, and all cooked completely from scratch - even vegetable crisps with the fresh salad - and this was in the 70's! It was a small village primary and the cook lived on site with the caretaker who also grew/maintained a vegetable & herb garden so some of the food we literally saw growing. I wish all children had that experience.

Skimping on school dinners is wrong to me. Children need good nutrition and particularly now when so many are in families experiencing serious hardship it's so important.

Redforshort - "food sociology" programmes are fascinating for insight into this. Back in time for..., eat well for less, fussy eaters, supersize vs superskinny I found so informative. Supersize v superskinny really was helpful in ensuring dd got a decent diet and helped me from being drawn into pushing her into eating unhealthy foods purely to get the calories in, which I knew wouldn't be right but when you're worried about your very slim child is very tempting.

But you're right they provide great insight into where we are now not least because people were so much more active then. I've just popped a load of laundry on, took me less than 5 minutes and barely any effort.

I remember both grans when I was little still basically handwashing everything - for huge families one of 9 one of 7! They still had scrub boards, dollies, mangles etc, there's a photo of me ages about 3-4 putting sheets through a mangle! When I was a little older they each got twin tubs but both still preferred using a mangle too and hand scrubbing stained items, they didn't really trust the machine. They also did things like scrubbing floors by hand, polishing "silverware" once a week, ironing everything (my mother still does this but with a steam generator thingy finds it much easier than her mother did with an electric non steam option iron). Both grans also worked full time in manual jobs with very little time taken off for having babies (came out their annual leave allowance no maternity leave then) plus of course they cooked 3 meals every day, breakfast and dinner eaten at home but made things like pies and cakes for them and their husbands to take to work for lunch.

QueenBeee I'm currently struggling with motivation, energy and pain issues with cooking at the moment. I'm "cheating" by having a lot of things that can be eaten cold but which aren't necessarily traditional "salads", quiche, savoury tarts, falafel, pies, I'm veggie so also things like quorn savoury eggs, quorn "fillet" pieces, quorn picnic sausages - I have with raw veg/crudités, bread/wraps/bagels or even crackers for the carb element and fruit after (one of my meds lends to constipation so fibre important) or very quickly cooked things like stir fry and cous cous, omelettes & other egg dishes, "on toast" dishes, hearty soups (soups may need to cook for decent times but don't really need watching over so I'll do batches and freeze, easily reheated)... I totally get the not wanting to cook "proper home cooked meal" every night.

My mum has kinda reached your point (early 70's not in best health herself and carer for my dad which is knackering) she felt guilty initially for not doing "proper meals" for dad but he reminded her he doesn't have a huge appetite now anyway (her mindset was kinda stuck in "setting him up" with big servings because he too was a manual worker all his working life) as he's almost completely sedentary now. She now does salads yea, but also omelettes, crust free quiche, what she calls a "cold plate" - deli meats, hard boiled eggs, cheese, pickles, crudités, coleslaw etc (not necessarily all of these a selection) etc she has really impressed me recently as she was dx with type 2 diabetes, basically decided "I ain't got time for that nonsense" went and researched type 2 and diet thoroughly and found research on a particular diet regime that is being found to have great results and with support from her diabetic nurse (though not a huge amount of input there) and pretty much sheer determination with diet control put the diabetes in remission.

Mythical - yes I understand about not eating as much chocolate as say broccoli but I also think defining individual foods as "bad" or "good" is inaccurate and unhealthy too. Like many on this thread I've witnessed obesity in children but I've also come across parents who are way too prescriptive with their children when the children are still under their complete control on food never allowing certain foods and then when those children reach a point of being able to make their own choices they go too far the other way and overdo on high calorie, high fat, over processed foods. The difficulty is achieving a sensible, practical balanced approach

God, some of you are right judgemental bastards, you know.

So many people had shite parents that never taught them how to cook or budget or eat healthily. "Well, just learn!!!" Along with the 100000 other things you have to learn when you had a hard childhood, or one where everything was done for you, or where beige food was the norm.

When you buy a bag of carrots or whatever, then only use two and the others go off because you don't know what else to cook besides one recipe - that's very demoralising for people. So you look up another recipe, then you need to go and buy 20 other ingredients for it and so on and so on.

It's hard to make the effort to cook healthily when you're depressed or your husband's useless or you're a single mum and you're not sure HOW to cook healthily because there's so much conflicting information.

It is so hard to break norms that you grew up with.

Clearly some of you grew up in households where judging people was the norm.

A stir fry ends up taking at least 30 minutes by the time you've cut the vegetables. Then some nosy bastard on here will say 'ugh you used a jar sauce and not fresh made? But it only takes 2 minutes to make a sauce'. It is NEVER good enough. Whatever wives and mums do is never ever good enough.

Walk a mile in another man's shoes before you judge. We all know how hard life can be so why judge? Why do you love to call people lazy and not bothered?

And yes, I do know how to cook, and I do feed my daughter healthy stuff. I also have depression, anxiety, ADHD and live in a foreign country, so everything is a challenge. That doesn't mean I can't understand why others can't do it.

My DM was a single mum with three kids. Yes she cooked from scratch, but I also remember plenty of 'lazy' chicken dippers, fast food, chips, Turkey twizzlers were a staple of school dinners still! We had chocolate every single night after dinner.

None of us were ever anything but slim. My sister and I hated exercise and never did any sport or anything (apart from PE obviously). My brother did play football most days.

I can only think of one of two conclusions:

1. Kids just eat far too much and we've lost all sense of portion control.
2. what goes in food has changed drastically in 20-30 years and that is whats making us fat.

I am that rare parent of children, now teens, who dont like chips, burgers or frozen food. Last night I offered chciken and chips but noone wanted it and they had a wholemeal wrap with falafel, hummus, salad instead.

Its a pita as the occasional orange meal would be easy, quick and cheap.

People graze ALL THE TIME. Even if they arent eating they are drinking calories.

I'm a complete believer in calorie deficit to lose weight, so my 'theory' is that kids are eating too much fattening food!

sparklfairy

I'd say there are loads more reasons than that.

Lots of families have two cars these days, when I was young, it was normal not to even have one. Of course most did, but it wasn't an essential, so walking to school or the shops was normal.

Playing outside was normal and not demonised.

More women with full time careers now so less time to cook. (Yet men haven't stepped up, quelle surprise.)

More big supermarkets with lots of easy to cook but basically shite food.

People listen to their children more instead of just telling them to put up and shut up and eat what they're given.

So much different dietary advice that it's hard to keep track of what's healthy etc - smoothies, as an example, they seem healthy (lots of fruit) but are actually full of sugar.

More pressures on our time, even though a lot of it is not actually worthwhile (using the internet or whatever).

Lots more choice now - when I was young, a rich tea and a squash was a treat. A packet of party rings was literally for birthday parties only. Look at all the fancy flavours and types of crisps and chocolates we have nowadays that we can all buy whenever we want.

I don't think we used to have toddlers in buggies eating crap. They are everywhere now.

IAmAlwaysLikeThis I can only speak for myself, but as a 90s child living rurally almost none of those applied to us. I do get where you're coming from though, culture around food and exercise has changed. The word 'treat' has changed meaning from once in a blue moon to most days. Exercise is a specific planned activity (trip to the park, even the gym for adults), it's no longer that kids are constantly moving due to the lure of screens. And portion control... apparently i was a very greedy baby,and actually a greedy adult. The midwife told my mum 'Don't worry,she'll stop eating when she's full' but the more she gave me the more I ate. I suspect it was a praise thing? I got praised for eating a spoonful of water and just kept taking it in! but I wasn't crying out in hunger and neither are most kids.

WHATEVER not water!!

Fibbke

People graze ALL THE TIME. Even if they arent eating they are drinking calories
In general I agree with you. Sure no hard evidence only observations. I include myself in the grazing. For the last 4 weeks I have made an effort to stop grazing. I have found a lit if the time it is habit. I have also noticed in my environment its other people that are my problem. We are in a team of 15 and are in and out at different times. Someone is always making a brew but then will bring some biscuits or chocolate that we have in with the drink. We eat at work. A member of staff will cook lunch or tea and we sit to eat and theres always pudding. We take the kids we work with to McDonalds and have one ourselves. If I ho to a friends house for a catch up a coffee is made and a plate of biscuits are put in front of you.
Of course one has to take responsibility for ones self but it is easy to take your eye off the ball especially as a lot of these calories are empty and not filling you up.

Saw a child of around 2 years old, sitting in his buggy drinking a can of Irn Bru! Mummy, who was very obese herself, was helping him with it.

My children stop me feeding them healthy food.

I do my best but they are fussy little buggers. Left to her own devices dd would eat nothing but chocolate and Yorkshire puddings (possibly at the same time). And ds would probably slowly starve.
They are both a healthy weight (ds on the very low side of healthy).

In my kids school, the kids who are overweight tend to be the ones most likely to eat healthy food. They like food and will happily eat whatever is put in front of them - trouble is they keep eating.

I feel sorry for one of my friends. Her daughter eats very healthy food but doesn’t seem to have an off switch. She keeps eating long after her friends are full, very stressful for her parents trying to manage her portions.

Has anyone looked at the calorie content of those Starbucks/Costa fancy 'coffees' that are about 5% coffee, 10% sugar/flavoured syrup and 80% full fat milk and squirty cream? That's not a coffee, it's a sundae. And at a guess I'd say it's got as many calories as a main meal. Things like that should never be marketed as a drink.

*I can only think of one of two conclusions:

1. Kids just eat far too much and we've lost all sense of portion control.
2. what goes in food has changed drastically in 20-30 years and that is whats making us fat.*

^This! But also, food behaviours have changed massively. I maintain you can't really get fat off 3 meals a day. Its the constant eating that's fucking up our bodies. People are obsessed with feeding kids snacks but I'm not convinced they need them beyond 2 or so. Snacks are invariably less complex and generally less healthy than a proper meal.

I bought a pizza express pizza last week and it was 1000 cals. It was a large one but I would hsve eaten all of it. Then addnsalad with dressing and a few slices of garlic bread and thats my daily calories in one sitting

Obviously it's more difficult to lose weight than maintain/gain it. Maybe there's an element of, once people/their kids get overweight it's too difficult to lose it and just... carry on? Even when making changes progress can be slow and keeping momentum going is tough.

I mean it's just easier to just carry on as they are/were. Some of my sentence went missing

Dh is self employed and in the past we have had times where for a thankfully now finished(!) reason we just didn’t have money for food.

We have 6 children so feed 8 and our budget for the day would be a couple of pounds and this would literally be available on the day (no shopping ahead - shop daily )

Difficulties in feeding children healthily to be seem to come down to a few things.

1. You can’t build up any kind of store or bulk buy food unless you have a lump sum of income.

1. You have to be able to physically get to shops which sell healthy food.

1. Fresh ingredients in larger quantities are expensive. Meat is out totally, vegetables have to stick to basic root veg and potatoes. You are not going to get a lovely salad £1 or £2 unless you are only feeding 1 or 2.

And this is the biggest reason

1. Expectations - if you feed your children plain rice and peas or if you feed them baked potato or pasta with chopped tomatoes, they won’t starve. But psychology it is draining.

Yes hundreds of years ago I’m sure people lived on Plain food , but they were not bombarded with choice they couldn’t have.

It is cheap to provide variety of junk food- it is not cheap to provide variety of fresh food.

I am so glad not to have to do this now and I’m actually shuddering at the thought of eating pasta with chopped tomatoes.

I do agree that overly sedentary lives are also an issue.

I'm 70's born and when I was school age few families even had one car let alone 2! It was far more common for school kids to walk or cycle to school, now I see not only kids being driven to school but parents being utterly ridiculous in striving to drop them virtually at the door! As if it'd kill them to have to walk even 50ft!!

I've not had a car for several years now as the meds I was on I couldn't drive on. Even when I had a car dd walked the 1.5 miles each way to
school and back excepting if she couldn't due to her disability which was rare. A couple of her friends also walked it who lived slightly nearer but the majority were driven in even those who lived less than a quarter mile from school! Pure laziness and parents enabling it absolutely no reason why those children needed driven to and from school every day.

Then there's the lack of PE classes, parents who let their kids veg in front of video games/tv rather than encouraging them to either play out or do physical activity indoors either at home or organised stuff elsewhere.

I'll admit I was lucky to a degree as dd is very much an "outdoor cat" and hates being stuck in. (Seriously we were snowed in during beast from the east and she drove me nuts!! Because she was going nuts from it)

When younger she enjoyed gymnastics and dance classes although sadly after dx we were told these had to stop. But she remained (gently) active with walking, cycling, swimming, Aquarobics, occasional recreational dancing. By chance (? Was it really chance or similar backgrounds/parenting) her best friend she made at high school is also from an active family, they're very into hiking, cycling, climbing, camping, fishing etc so the 2 of them regularly head to a local popular "walk" for a potter around and a natter, but their other friends from families that drive everywhere and play video games and watch tv whinge about going and dd and her friend are always like "they're so lazy!" One time the excuse given was wet weather (it was barely drizzling and where we live it rains a lot so they should really be used to it!), said friend had/has perfectly good wet weather clothes and shoes. Dd was like "you're not the witch in oz you won't melt from a wee bit of rain!"

Contrarily I am not naturally sporty and am by nature an "indoor cat" mostly but my mum wouldn't let me just sit and read all the time (which was my preferred activity), I was in guides and a member of another youth group that did lots of nature activities, if the weather was dry outside of school hours, homework and mealtimes/bedtimes we were expected to be out and about, either at the park or as we got older she'd happily give us picnics/pack ups and we'd go off with friends to beaches/woods/parks further from home for the day/afternoon at weekends and in school holidays, cycling miles sometimes, I've just looked up one of the places we used to cycle to regularly and that was 7 miles! Mostly uphill on the way there too!

I've even witnessed parents irritated by children being active (dancing, jumping on the spot etc) and telling them to sit down and be still, or children asking to do things like go for a bike ride and the parents rejecting the idea - with no reason to other than they couldn't be arsed!