What is really stopping us from feeding our children healthy food?

[LilMissRe]

I saw an article today about obesity levels in little children and how it is increasing to dangerous levels. I'm intrigued as this is for a project I'm doing to graduate from university- hopefully this year!

The concern here is that, well, little ones (0-5 yrs) have the least say in what they can eat and drink, and as many don't start school officially till 4-5- schools can't really intervene and so a lot of experts place the blame entirely on us parents- especially mothers.

In my opinion I think time and marketing of unhealthy food is a big player here and is to blame, but I can't just use my opinion and would be very grateful for your opinions and experiences on this.

What is really stopping us from feeding our children healthy food?

Thank you!

KatherineJaneway great that worked for her but we have honestly tried just about everything eg if its on his plate and he gets used to seeing it maybe he'll eat it, him helping cook, making exciting looking plates, reasoning, bribing, giving out, ignoring his antics, sitting it out with him and as I said he's gone hungry over and over again rather than give in!

And as I said we're still doing it 7 years later!!

Katherine looking back I think I must have been a fussy child... I would much much rather go hungry than eat something I didn't like. I didn't want attention or to dictate what the family did. I just wanted to be left alone and HATED the attention generated by the whole situation. You know, I just got used to being hungry most of the time, and it just made me appreciate the foods I liked even more. Of course I had anaemia, vitamin deficiencies etc.

It's only when I moved out I started to be happier and more relaxed about food. Now I eat a wide variety, I will try everything and I enjoy every meal. Make of that what you will.

No I'm not joking. Of course monitoring is important in order to catch those children who are unwell and I'm glad that it is there for those children!

But when it comes with a lack of understand about things such as weight being artificially increased at birth by fluids given to mum, Milk transfer issues in bf babies (most of which are resolvable and if actually delt with early don't require formula), natural weight plateu at certain developmental stages and that they don't usually require intervention, and a basic grasp of statistics then they are a problem.

You only need to come sit in one weigh in clinic here to hear some of the shocking advice given out. I have personally been told by a HV that every baby must be on the 50th centile and if they're not they're too thin and should be weaned early onto baby rice for extra calories - my 25th centile from her premature birth to this point was 4months and had no developmental concerns! And my next door neighbour has been told by the gp to top up her baby with formula as now he's 5m her breastmilk won't be enough. He's not lost weight or any other concerns to need this.

A sample of two ill agree but there is a story along the same vein at every group or session I go to (and I run 2 a week so I go to a lot!) I can think of one baby in the past 6m who had a medical issue and that was picked up at day 10 and referred on quickly as it should have been

I could cook DD all the healthy food in the world but it doesn't mean she would eat it. I regularly put fruit and carrot sticks in her lunchbox and she only eats them 20% of the time. Every week she comes out of school with sweets because it's someone's birthday. It's like trying to carry water uphill in a seive. Now she is refusing to eat or drink anything before 11am. If I had my way she would eat the healthiest diet going and I would happily make it for her, but I can't physically force her to eat things she doesn't like.

"OP's claim that marketing was to blame annoys the Fig out of me. I have agency. I made my own choices, thanks." You're incredibly naive if you really think this. Companies wouldn't spend billions on marketing if it didn't in fact work!

"I also think that since I was little in the 80s places like McDonald's or KFC have changed from somewhere we might go for a meal (I.e.lunch or tea) to somewhere that people go to for a snack" I've noticed this too.

Re "just google/YouTube how to cook" it's not the same as having an experienced cook with you to encourage and give confidence. It is an option and worth a try but I also understand why particularly those on a very tight budget are reluctant to experiment and risk food/money being wasted.

"I said 'processed' carbs or are you claiming they are good for you?" Depends on your definition of processed. Bread and pasta are processed carbs but are not in themselves bad foods and can and do form part of a healthy diet.

https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/healthy-weight/why-we-need-to-eat-carbs/

If carbs really weren't essential to health why are they in every food? They may be in small amounts in vegetables and lean fish and meat but they are in every food.

Higher carb foods like rice, bread, pasta contain other nutrients we need too, and contain nutrients that enable/promote absorption of nutrients from other foods.

A healthy, balanced diet contains foods rich in vitamins & minerals, protein, fats, carbohydrates, fluid and fibre.

"Some cultures survived completely without them before the westernised diet came to be." Really? Name me a food without any carb.

Your issue seems really to be with sugar especially refined sugar but not all carbs are of this kind.

"Also I think some people need to be told just because it says it's healthy does not mean it is" personally I think it would be far easier and more effective to ban manufacturers from using certain words and descriptors for their products. "Healthy" is one of the words I'd ban in this way straight off!

"You can't make a homemade spagbol for one for example." Don't be ridiculous of course you can! You either do smaller portions using smaller pans or you view it as batch cooking and refrigerate (easily last 3-4 days in fridge) or freeze the sauce for another time. Easy enough to only cook enough pasta for one person I've been doing it for decades.

@jocktamsonsbairns - that's great. Rare these days. I had wonderful school meals cooked from scratch at 2 of my schools (army brat) but one was appalling, only heated up stuff chips with everything type set up. (Last school I attended and it was very much going that way elsewhere in uk at that time late 80's/early 90's)

"But some foods carry a lot of calories and few essential nutrients. All foodstuffs are not equal" but an overall balanced healthy diet will not be harmed by the occasional reasonably sized serving of chocolate, ice cream or crisps and even those "bad" foods contain nutrients.

Demonising certain foods creates an unhealthy relationship with food imo and that of many dietitian's too. Every dietitian I've ever spoken to says there are no bad foods but there are bad diets. Demonising risks making certain foods into "forbidden fruit" or making children attribute moral values to eating habits.

I went through a phase around the age of 8 of being absolutely obsessed with grapes, as a fruit (and before the demonisation of carbs took hold) my mum saw this as a good thing and was happy to supply as many as I could eat. I ended up with a very upset stomach and a very itchy rash! From a "good" food (overload of vitamins apparently). Mum got a ticking off from dr and reminded you CAN have too much of a good thing.

"Chocolate is a good hiking food though, lasts ages, and lots of calories for the weight..." Also a source of protein, calcium and iron.

"Or I have low blood pressure, and if I'm feeling a bit funny the gp advised me to have a packet of crisps for the salt." Same I have orthostatic hypotension and a naturally very low bp pretty much all the time. I queried my occasional strong salt cravings with GP and following some checks was told to "Go with it" as they thought it was my body prompting me to regulate my low bp issue.

I’ve had to stop my 10 year going to the local shop with their friend. I won’t give money for sweets or junk but dc some how comes home with sweet wrappers in her pocket I’m not a strict parent at all. I give my dc treats but everything in moderation. How can I teach that when every small occasion in school results in sugary treats. I’ll be talking to the school again in September about this because they claim to encourage eat less move more but then encourage eating junk food all the time

It is expensive to build up a store cupboard of ingredients, different herbs or oils.

Loads of people can't cook even the basics eg a simple tomato sauce.

THINKING. This is a big one for me, thinking about meal planning, so exhausting. Way easier to pick up a pack of nuggets.

God knows I try but some days I just can't be arsed.

This confuses me too. A friend of mine has his daughter a few evenings a week and eow. He's really into diet and fitness and buys high quality food full of protein etc for himself. Then he just grabs a tin of hot dogs and cheap rolls for his DD. He wouldn't eat that crap so why make her? She's not fussy or demanding so it's not like she's chosen it.

My eldest DD is 5 and has a fairly healthy diet. We have the odd treat day but it's all balanced well.

Our major pitiful is if we're away and going out to eat a lot as children's menus are awful!

Everything seems to come with chips and even then, it's with burgur, pizza and chicken nuggets.

I don't know why they can't just do smaller portions of the adults meals.

@Graphista
It's surprising how the quality of school meals seems to vary so widely across different areas, and I really don't know why. As a parent, I've experienced 7 primary schools (military family too!) and, like you say, some school dinners have been just reheated rubbish. As a school cook, I only have experience of one, but it's all freshly made from scratch - fresh bread baked daily, organic meat from the butcher, and fruit & veg from a local greengrocer (although some of the veg I use is frozen - peas, green beans, cauliflower and mixed peppers).
The puddings are very much weighted towards homemade cake and custard, and I'd love to change that - but I just can't get it past the parental objection.

Have you ever come across a properly fussy eater who will not eat until the following day because they don't like the dinner?

There’s nothing wrong with children going to bed hungry through choice.
Provide a meal. Don’t cajole/coax/tempt/beg them to eat it. Just let them get on with it or not. They soon learn.

This is where I think people go wrong. Don’t try ‘tricks’ to make them eat. Don’t make it a big deal. Don’t use pudding as a reward for ‘just one more forkful PLEASE.’ Just let them get on with it.

THINKING. This is a big one for me, thinking about meal planning, so exhausting. Way easier to pick up a pack of nuggets.

God knows I try but some days I just can't be arsed.

But this is just laziness.

It’s very easy to rebrand it as ‘fatigue’ or something but really, no. It’s pure laziness and this is the real problem.

Portion control is almost non existent these days (I speak as someone who is overweight), Food is not just seen as ‘fuel’, but as something lovely & delicious and a major focus of socialising & creativity.

And people obsessing that their children are ‘starving’ when they come home from school , that is honestly very, very rare in this country, and is an insult to people who genuinely are ‘starving’.

Vegetables are SO cheap so I never understand that excuse.

"But this is just laziness.

It’s very easy to rebrand it as ‘fatigue’ or something but really, no. It’s pure laziness and this is the real problem."

Oh do fuck off dear, you have no idea about my life, how many hours I work or the state of my health.

Thank you so much for your responses MNers!

@Passthecherrycoke My sister does this. I think she deliberately messes up so that I don't ask her to do anything. It works! ha ha

There was a programme on BBC (I think) about a family who 'live' though the decades (Back in Time for Dinner it might have been called).

You can see from watching this how obesity has become an issue.

more frequent eating (snaking and food 'grab and go' type food appeared)
bigger portions (apparently even the average slice of bread is bigger than 40 years ago)
convince food (this became popular because more women meaning less time for them to prepare meals as was the norm prior)
huge increase in intake in sugar
cheaper food (often lower quality - less satisfying).

That's from memory. I'd guess from that programme this all has been creeping into life since the 70s. A complex mix of a variety of things, lifestyles and how food is available. Which is why there's no quick fix.

WellErrr a few pages ago you said that the person blaming plate sizes was bonkers. They aren't! Plates have not been the same size for 100 years. The average UK size has increased from 9cm diameter to 11cm.

I think it's laziness. Or put another way, not wanting to stand around preparing and cooking food every night.
I am an old gimmer and retired now and suddenly I feel NO - why the hell should I cook another meat and two veg dinner for DH (and me).
However salad and oven chips pales after a while (cue dozens of posters with healthy 'easy' recipes , yeah but you shop more often if you are eating loads of veg and you get bored if you live on lentils) and I still do it.
But I can see how some people wouldn't. There weren't options in my day.

The other problem is lack of time with both parents working full time.
Also guilt due to spending little time with DCs so you give them what they ask for, and you don't want to spend the evening arguing.

@

Queenbee
cue dozens of posters with healthy 'easy' recipes

You could try a stir fry!!
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 joking!!!!!!

@Hmmmbop

I wouldn't say I was blaming plate size per say, more that I think it's insane that a plate marketed for small children is the same size as an adult plate. I mentioned Ikea specifically, as a lot of people buy bowls, plates, etc. for weaning from there, so you assume it's 'toddler sized' when really it isn't.

I think a lot of people see the empty space on a plate and think it doesn't look full. A large plate certainly alters the perception of portion size.

There has been quite a lot of research done on this, @LilMissRe. It’s not as simple as people making ‘good choices’ or ‘bad choices’.

In fact, having a look at the research critiquing the idea of ‘choosing’ healthy eating (and other choice based models of health promotion) will help you a lot. As well as the literature about both adults and children’s eating behaviours (at home and a school), and research about structural and geographical issues affecting food-related behaviours.