DD school trip in 2 hours. Woke up to a lot of ranty msgs from another parent

[BackwardsGoing]

Who has just twigged that the kids are not allowed phones for their 2 nights 3 days away.

School has communicated this in emails, letters and F2F meetings for most of the year.

Ranty parent (RP) wants all parents to stand in solidarity against the no phone rule. This morning. While the kids are getting on the coach!

AIBU to say this is (a) bonkers (b) far too late and (c) bonkers.

BTW children are year 6 / 10-11 yo and the school has promised regular updates via Facebook.

OK. Playing devil's advocate here and in the interest of trying to be kind, could there be something else going on that's made her lose her shit over a normal and entirely reasonable rule? Op, you say she's not normally like this and she has older kids who are well rounded and doing well at school.

I wonder if the child is anxious or there's stuff going on at home. Who knows. If she's usually pretty normal and not 'that' parent then perhaps she just completely lost her perspective due to other pressures - especially if it was all kicking off over night when everything feels worse.

Sounds like it all ended well, which was the main thing. I'd try not to judge too harshly really.

Yep. Sounds like her kid had a middle of the night meltdown. I imagine she's feeling a bit daft now, if she's otherwise a sensible person.

It used to be that there was a phone box on every corner so a child walking to and from school could just keep 10p in their pocket to be able to phone is anything went wrong (after school club cancelled, missed bus, request to go to a friend's house etc)

Some schools operate a system where phones are handed in before the start of the school day and can be collected at the end. That way students are not allowed mob phones in class/break when they can distract and be disruptive but they have them for going to and from school. Obviously this involves a bit of organising, time etc but it was done successfully at the school I know of and that was a big school.

I also think it's not the end of the world if kids don't have phones on them 24/7 and a school trip gives them a chance to experience life without the dependency or filter of social media. The school will deal with any messages or emergencies.

My dd is older (just finished 6th form) so phones were allowed, problem was that the kids were calling dominos at 11pm and found a local off licence to deliver through just eat! This years cohort weren't allowed phones and to make doubly sure, they changed the camp location to one with zero reception! No tech is good for a few days

Just to add my voice to those who recklessly send their primary school children to school and home on their own without a phone. School would call if he didn't get there and I always call home to make sure he's home OK if we're not in.

Once DS the little bugger was supposed to pick up his sister too. They walked home on their own. I called home (having excused myself from a meeting) and I spoke to DS (year 5) and said had he managed to pick up DD (year 3) OK? Silence, "oh I thought she had choir, shall I go back and get her?" I dissolved into quiet panic and said "no, no I'll phone the school and Dad can go and pick her up" - his reply....."only joking, she's here".

He was very convincing.

So no, I wouldn't want phones to be OK on a residential in year 6 because our kids will not have them in year 6.

Mine never took them to primary school but they went to a school that didn't allow children to walk home alone. I bought dd a phone when she was in Year 5 due to mil pratting about and pretending she'd forgotten to pick dd up from a dance show. Also she did a run of panto and although the kids were never left unsupervised they also never informed us if things were running early or late so it was useful to for dd to be able to keep me informed.

mumwon thank you for posting the link to that song.DD has gone off on her school trip today until Friday and it’s cheered me up no end! At least there are no alligators in Dorset ( I think)!

@comefromaway the school can't make that rule; as soon as you write giving permission for johnny to walk home alone that's it.
Social services are only interested if the school can prove that for Johnny himself ( not school rule) that a risk assessment means it is too risky for Johnny. I however Johnny is NT and lives 3 doors away from school no risk assessment will find that it is a risk, but if Johnny lived 2 miles away down a country lane with no footpath it would be too risky

I meant they can't enforce that rule they rely on parents not knowing it is unenforceable

They can’t enforce it. They don’t allow a child to leave without a responsible adult. Any child uncollected after 15 mins was sent to After School Care. My Dd used to have a ballet class on the next street to the school. I had to go and collect her and her two friends (whose mums were teachers so couldn’t) to literally walk them 3 mins round the corner.

@KatharinaRosalie
Your 3 year old went away with school for 2 nights? I can't imagine either my just-turned-3 year old or myself being able to manage that.....

Yes, Darkest. Several kids from her class did - they are mostly 3.5- about to turn 4 though. According to teachers, there were no issues.

Katharina - I had no idea children went away that young with their schools! I think I have a few anxieties to work through, but it's good to hear the children were fine and enjoyed it.....

My DD had a phone from 8.

She was quite happy to go on residential - also from 8 - without her phone.

Phones would be a nightmare on a residential trip.

There's no need for phones on a school trip.

For the parents...I'll presume no news is good news and that I'll be contacted by the teachers/school if needs be.

For the kids...I think its great to have a break from screens.

Brownie leader here ... phones strictly banned on overnight events for multiple reasons. I have once had a parent try to sneak their DD's phone into their case. Fortunately her DD is a crap liar when I asked whether she had a phone. I took great pleasure in texting mum to let her know that the phone was in safe keeping with me.

Update from friend.

RP is mortified. PLB has apparently been wound up by older brother by stories of being left behind at motorway services and trapped in lifts. So PLB threw an almighty tantrum in the excitement/apprehension of the trip.

RP is being driven demented by menopause and in a mad moment last night was suddenly convinced PLB was right. Her DH ended up taking over this morning, marching PLB up to HT and making sure HT made rules clear.

In cold light of day without PLB tantruming at their RP realises she was a loon and is embarrassed about the messages she sent. Nice friend reassured her we all have lunatic moments and they had a nice laugh/cry before RP went home to nap and plan revenge on windy-up older DS.

As I said, she is very lovely and normal usually, this was out of character.

No word from the kids, I'm assuming that they are having too much fun to even remember they have parents

Poor RP, older siblings can be bloody awful.

hope there are no alligators there

It’s ridiculous that a child in year 6 has a phone to start with.

What 10 year old has a phone anyway?!
Who do they need to call that warrants then having a personal phone? Job interview? Car insurance? Nope, they're 10! They shouldn't have phones anyway, certainly not on a school trip

This is indeed bonkers. Just tell her firmly that her behaviour will be upsetting the children as they are heading off for their trip, that the other parents are not on her side, and to go into the school and take it up with the head if she wants to. Or take her own child home. For which her child will never forgive her.

Plenty of 10 year olds round here travel home alone after school. As a parent I'd want them to have a phone for that.
Not on the trip though.

What 10 year old has a phone anyway?!
Who do they need to call that warrants then having a personal phone? Job interview? Car insurance? Nope, they're 10! They shouldn't have phones anyway, certainly not on a school trip

Most of the year 5s have phones. Mine was the first to get one, because he visits his dad in another country several times a year, and I prefer to call him directly rather than through his father. He had an iPod touch from age 7 which he could only iMessage me on but he had a phone when he was 8.
This wasn't very exciting for him since he didn't know anyone else with one and it was so basic that decent games wouldn't download. But he had one, and it was useful.

Mine also walks home from school. The phone is completely unnecessary for that as it's a-b and his childminder texts me when he arrives. But I do like to check on find my friends when I remember and see where he has got to.