DD school trip in 2 hours. Woke up to a lot of ranty msgs from another parent

[BackwardsGoing]

Who has just twigged that the kids are not allowed phones for their 2 nights 3 days away.

School has communicated this in emails, letters and F2F meetings for most of the year.

Ranty parent (RP) wants all parents to stand in solidarity against the no phone rule. This morning. While the kids are getting on the coach!

AIBU to say this is (a) bonkers (b) far too late and (c) bonkers.

BTW children are year 6 / 10-11 yo and the school has promised regular updates via Facebook.

My exs school had a no phones rule on residential trips, he was part of a group that went on a trip to Kenya. A child had taken their phone by hiding it in his travel pack, they went to a hospital to learn about access to vaccines etc, the child text home “I’m in hospital” and then lost service due to a powercut, this led to a scared parent calling school, the holiday company etc and it took hours to work out what had happened as all comms were down.

Schools don’t say no phones for shits and giggles.

Offs.

They wont even have time to call on account of being busy doing stuff.

They will ruin it for everyone if they take their phone and they are up all night on it.

What's wrong with people

So I replied to avoid an ambush at the school gates. Just a "sorry, just saw your messages. Sounds like the kids will be better off not having to worry about not losing their phones in all the activities. See you later."

She got really frantic around 4.45am!

God, what a silly woman. Bet if the phone got lost on residential the woman would be complaining to the school

Ridiculous, my DDs had a no phone rule on residentials at Primary and that was 10+ years ago

I mean at the end of the day, children don't really need phones at all in Primary School. .

The thing to do here is to make sure your own child knows that she will be completely fine on camp and doesn't need a phone. The last thing you want it this mother making your child feel concerned or in any way worried about being away from home.

I’d say over breakfast something like

‘Just to let you know, Lucy’s mother has texted all the parents saying we should all make a stand so you have your phones on the trip. It all seems a bit unnecessary doesn’t it? As if your teachers wouldn’t call the parents if they needed them. And you will all be too busy to be looking after phones or to be texting home’

Tell dd to just ignore and not respond.

I dont think its as easy as telling the dd to ignore them.

The phone is a massive safeguarding issue. Shes being so selfish. I'd have to tell the teachers so they can take it off the kid in case she pretends shes not going to let her kid have it after all to avoid suspicion

DD is completely chilled and regularly complains her friends are boring for being on their phones too much smug parent

RP doesn't have form for overprotectiveness as far as I know and has 3 teens who are all lovely and high achieving. So this is a bit out of the blue tbh.

Looking forward to the update when they've gone OP! Hope your DD has a great time.

Of course they can't take phones. Who would think they could?! Imagine the chaos and stress it could cause.

I’m glad you texted back. I think it’s important to show support for the school’s sensible, well intentioned and well informed rule.

Phones:

• detract from fun
• allow access to material that has safeguarding implications while the school is in charge
• risk public sharing of photos of other kids on the school trip, again a safeguarding issue for the school
• might get lost or broken
• are actually likely to increase any homesickness as a constant reminder of home

I mean at the end of the day, children don't really need phones at all in Primary School

Some of our year 5s and 6s walk to and from school by themselves so they need phones.

How bizarre. You get to ship your kids offfor a few days surely the last thing anyone wants is to actually hear from them.

Thanks @LadyGardens for the prompt list, that's useful. No reply to my message to her.

Some parents are batshit crazy.

Theres no reason for them to have their phone.

Theres always the ones that cant find theirs, thinks someone has stolen it or lost it completely. Blah blah blah.

Its not going to kill them to not have their phone.

@BogglesGoggles exactly! We are having a couple of nights away ourselves.

Fully support school's position

However if this parent is truly frantic suspect it's being driven by a level of anxiety that other parents may not have and therefore maybe something going on that other folds not aware of

Suggest compassion

My DD wasn’t allowed phones on UK high school residential trips. No need to worry about damage and less chance of homesickness. The rationale was that staff were more likely to spot an upset or homesick child if they weren’t tucked away somewhere phoning home. They would put regular updates on Twitter.

@NancyJoan agree with this position

I might be wrong here but I would tell your daughter what this other mum is doing and tell her rules are rules and you’re not going to get involved, just so she is aware what might happen at school
Hope she has a great trip.

Probably more to the story op. Anxiety, stress in the family. I would take the route of being comforting to RP without supporting the need for phones 'the dc will be just fine, the teachers will have phones in an emergency' that sort of thing.

Acknowledge her anxiety surrounding the trip, without endorsing her solution.

Bloody hell! I sent both of mine off to France with the school (from Scotland) and it didn't occur to anyone to send a phone with them. DD1 has a large number of allergies and asthma and developed a chest infection whilst there and although I was kept up to date with how she was, and she did speak to me on one occasion, that was it. That parents needs a reality check!

Have any other parents responded? I'd be tempted to say "We've known about this since September, I think it's a bit late to start making an issue of it."

I've just sent my extremely anxious 11yo DD off to Cornwall yesterday without a phone. All being well we get two texts from the group - one to say they arrived and another to say what time they'll be back. Not gonna lie, I'm finding it hard and am worried about her and whether she's upset, but there was a no phone rule so no phone it is. Wouldn't have dreamed of trying to send one.

When I was a boarding school many years ago, the worst time for homesickness was Sunday evening which was when we were allowed to use the payphone to call Parents. They are better off without them from that angle.