Hubby planning a world trip

[keepingthisasecret]

My husband has just told me he is planning to do a trip around the world (not every country), with his friends, leaving me with the children by myself for at least 6 months, maybe a little less. He is able to do that with his company luckily! They will just keep him on the books and re employ him again. I said that I am against it in all honesty because why should I be stuck at home looking after the kids and working my ass off while he is off gallivanting with his mates on a world tour! He is telling me he only gets to live once and therefore he wants to go and enjoy himself. I said if he goes then we are not going to be here by the time he gets back. Sounds very , very over the top but I am so angry that he hasn't even thought of me. I mean it that i will be leaving if he goes! I will do it once the children are old enough to look after themselves but for now they're only young. Would you let him go? Or am I being a moody unreasonable cow? Honest truths!

Ask where he will live when he gets back, as it certainly won't be with you !
How does he expect you to manage financially whilst he is away ?
Surely your children will miss him/ and you'd think he would miss them.
He is being very,very unreasonable to expect you just to smile and carry on .

How old is he, how old are you and the children?

There must be more to this story. Normal men with partners, children, responsibilities, this wouldn't even enter their radar.
Has your relationship already been on the rocks?
Is he suffering from depression maybe?
All very odd, and selfish.
My marriage would be over if my husband did this

YANBU. I wouldn't want to not see my DW for 6 months! I am off to Australia for 3 weeks (with mates) in 2 years but the DC will be 21 and 19! He is very selfish and sounds as though he doesn't give a shit about you or the DC.

Absolutely no way! My DP goes on boys holidays, will have two this year, but we don't live together, don't have children together and I knew his lifestyle before we started dating. If I were in your circumstances I'd be dead against it!

That's a seriously self centred & irresponsible approach to his marriage and his children. This would definitely be a relationship ending decision in my marriage. Tbh even contemplating it would be enough to put a relationship on the rocks if you ask me.

I absolutely think it’s possible to travel and see the world if that’s what he want. The solution is obviously to go with you and the children - sounds like an excellent opportunity ( and there a plenty of examples of families who have done this ) Instead he’s presented you with the alternative where he fucks off and leaves you to it. What is he actually expecting you to do? Pay all the bills AND cover all the childcare and that you’ll be waiting with a nice casserole on the table when he returns ? I’m sorry there’s not a hope in hell that I’d be waiting on his return. Not. A. Hope.

There are very few circumstances where a husband fucking off for 6 months would be reasonable. A military deployment for example, where everyone knows what they signed up for. A DH deciding to swan off, not so much, and easily divorce worthy.

thank you for your responses! I feel really happy that everyone is with me on this! He has said now that what if he goes somewhere on holiday for a couple of weeks instead. I think he just wants to fuck off away from his family in all honesty

This has got to be a joke!!!
Is he having some sort of breakdown?!

Hey divorced BEFORE he levels. You don't want him pissing away your money on his jollies!

He wants to leave you, but have you paying the bills for 6 months while he fucks off on an extended holiday? Tell me he didn't expect you to say it was a fabulous idea?
I can just about (if I try very, very hard) see how he might want to not see you for 6 months (although I'm sure you are lovely, we can all have enough of our spouses from time to time) but it is beyond me to understand a parents not wanting to see his children for that long. If my husband did this, I would interpret it as him wanting a divorce but being too cowardly to say so.

Just look him dead in the eye and ask him if he needs to see a Dr. Because that much stupid in one man can not be healthy!

I don't want to say our ages just for privacy really but children are young

No, he doesn't get to fuck off for 6 months or 2 weeks.

I only asked his age for an indication that he is going through that panic middle aged stage.

I would tell him even with the two weeks that either he is a married family man who does things with his family or he is a single man who gets to go on holiday for two weeks.

The choice is his

Ask him how does he think he is going to be able to parent, care for and support his DC’s whilst he is away?

I suspect that even if he 'gives in' and doesn't go the relationship will be very damaged. He'll be resentful, so will you. This is probably the tip of the iceberg as regards what's good enough for you and the children in the future.

A couple of weeks sounds more reasonable but I would insist of having some time to myself as well.
Is he having serious problems of some sort?
Is he struggling with family life?
If my DH stated he was holidaying for six months without us I would assume a serious mental health issue to be honest.

A weekend would be a sensible start but make sure you have time off as well, with him taking sole responsibility.

I would agree to the two weeks. I would agree to it on the strict condition that I got a two week jolly as well and I would insist I went on mine first as an indication that he's serious about each of us needing a break rather than it being him dumping on me. I would expect him to rapidly downgrade to a long weekend at this prospect, which is what I'd genuinely be happy with each of us doing separately.

Is he having a laugh???

Marian Keyes already wrote this book, it's good:
Amy’s husband Hugh says he isn’t leaving her.

He still loves her, he’s just taking a break – from their marriage, their children and, most of all, from their life together. Six months to lose himself in south-east Asia. And there is nothing Amy can say or do about it.

Yes, it’s a mid-life crisis, but let’s be clear: a break isn’t a break up – yet . . .

However, for Amy it’s enough to send her – along with her extended family of gossips, misfits and troublemakers – teetering over the edge.

For a lot can happen in six-months. When Hugh returns if he returns, will he be the same man she married? And will Amy be the same woman?

Because if Hugh is on a break from their marriage, then isn’t she?

I was married to a very self-centred man but even he would not have suggested this.

When you have pre-teen DCs I think that 2 weeks is too long as well, unless it’s an essential business trip.

What’s going on with him? It’s not normal, this.

2 weeks doesn't sound a bad. it's still long but if I were to agree to this I would book for the day after he arrives home me flying off for 2 weeks. Why do you think he is so eager to get away ?

Read the Marian Keyes book the break, this happens in the story.