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What is it you like about boys?

31 replies

Whatareyourthoughtsonthis · 22/06/2019 08:53

If you want to have boy children, or have had boy children, and that’s what you would have chosen, what is it that made you want boys more than girls? This is really not a ‘down-with-the-girls’ question and I’m aware many mothers have or had no preference at all, but I am just interested in your thoughts . Please describe what it is you like about the male gender as a child or what you perceive about boys to be particularly attractive (this can include stereotypes and preconceptions that obviously aren’t necessarily true for all, but are real to you at point of particularly wanting a boy[s]). Please keep your posts about boys and not why you’re pleased you had girls. Thank you.

OP posts:
Camomila · 22/06/2019 09:08

I have one DS and am pregnant with DC no 2 (not sure of the sex yet)

Its funny, I was always very 'gender neutral' with him (toys, clothes, always saying its ok to cry etc) and his environment is fairly liberal as well (typically Brightony nursery in Brighton) but he has turned out stereotypically very boyish.
I really like that (well I'd like that about any DC really) that they are a big surprise/have their own personality that isn't necessarily like any of their parents.
DS is 3 and has an encyclopedic knowledge of construction vehicles "no mamma, thats not a digger, thats a back hoe loader!". Constantly has pebbles in his pockets (for his construction sight)
And has never seen a sport played by an older child/adult that he hasn't immediately wanted to try and been good at for his age most of the time. If he falls over and hurts himself he just keeps trying till he can do whatever the thing is.

Camomila · 22/06/2019 09:11

But of course there are boys that are not like that at all, and very boisterous/active girls. His best friend at nursery is a girl who I think is a few months older and she definitely leads all their adventures.

Wolfcubisthefemalenominal · 22/06/2019 09:15

What’s the aim op are you writing an article?

Asta19 · 22/06/2019 09:18

I wanted one of each and that’s what I got! I love them both equally but my relationship with each of them is very different. I think people assume that a mum will be closer to a girl but I found the opposite to be true. Once they both hit adulthood it was more my DS that would have long conversations with me and he is more protective of me. Whereas my DD still see’s me a bit as the one “in charge” who will sort things out for her! And there’s only 18 months between them so not a big age gap. I wouldn’t be without either of them of course but I think a mother/son relationship is really special and really quite different to a mother/daughter relationship.

Yinyen · 22/06/2019 09:18

I I have 3 boys and a girl. Tbh they are all so different I don't see their sex being the difference. DD is more alike to DS2 than any of the boys are like each other.

BendydickCuminsnatch · 22/06/2019 09:29

I only have 2 boys. I like that they’re both exceptionally cuddly, with me and DH and also with each other. They are simple souls at the mo - feed them, run them, get them to sleep, turn them out into the garden. My eldest has led me to learn about lots of things I wouldn’t have otherwise - how things work, ice hockey etc. Equally DS1 has just watched in fascination while I put my earrings on and likes to encourage my while I do my workout DVDs, and I’ve recently taken up face painting which DS is my model for. So we share interests all around 😄 I also like taking the boys out in the pushchair for a run (1 at a time), DS1 shouting encouragement. I have done my fair share of car shows etc which I’m happy to take a back seat with now 😄 I always imagined myself as a mother of boys so there we go! I like being the only female in the house, not in a ‘I’m the queen’ kind of way but I just like it.
My nieces are exactly the same age as my boys (1 and 4) and very typically girly. You can’t really compare though as they obviously have different parents to my boys, so my hypothetical girls might be like my boys and my hypothetical nephews might be like my nieces.

heartshapedknob · 22/06/2019 09:35

What made me err towards having children of the male sex rather than female was my own life experience. My brothers weren’t subject to the abuse I was, quite simply. That’s all. I don’t attribute personalities to either sex.

FlibbertyGiblets · 22/06/2019 09:38

Why are you asking, please?

Notonthestairs · 22/06/2019 09:46

Yep I am happy to talk about my DS all day long but I'd like to know why you are asking?

Sonicknuckles · 22/06/2019 09:51

I knew I wanted a boy and felt strongly I would. I don't know it might be because I didn't have any brothers, or many males in my life.
I also wanted a girl too and now I have one of each

Bezalelle · 22/06/2019 09:54

I'd like boys so that I can bring them up as decent men. Too many awful men in the world - I'd like to do something to redress the balance, however small.

memaymamo · 22/06/2019 09:55

I didn't think I wanted them, but I got them, and I just like the different perspective they give me on life, they're hugely affectionate and loving, quite easygoing and straightforward without emotional swings. I like it when they get on with their hobbies and I can get on with what I like.

It's hard to separate out what's about being a boy and what's about just them as people, especially since mine are not stereotypical boisterous, energetic boys.

Shylo · 22/06/2019 09:55

Shouldn’t this be in media enquiries?

Whatareyourthoughtsonthis · 22/06/2019 10:31

Hello thanks for all feedback and I’ll read all later as got to head off to work. A lot of you want to know why I’m asking. This is my first ever post on any kind of forum ever. I’m not a journalist. Just a mother expecting her third boy and seeking some positivity around boys . I receive so many ‘oh gawd , 3 boys’ comments from other mothers in particular. It becomes quite wearing and upsetting and I try and hold on to my own knowledge of my own boys who had be both boisterous , unwilling to please and hard to motivate with school work, but equally very loving towards and protective towards me, interested in everything from vehicles to arts and crafts, snails to Sylvanian Families. Just when I’m discovering my own experience about my own boys as children , next comes up the fear that they’ll be terrible at keeping in touch when they are older and married, which has been the thing I’ve observed in my own (loving) family compared to the women, so comments on this thread about excellent adult relationships with your adult sons are very heart warming. Until I had all boys, I didn’t realise how many ‘down with the boys’ (in general , not aimed specifically at my boys) comments I’d receive out there, especially in co-educational schools. It’s quite tiring so I wanted an antidote to this and to hear some positivity. My motivations are very innocent . I’m just feeling a bit emotionally raw at the moment that’s all!

OP posts:
memaymamo · 22/06/2019 11:29

You'll get comments no matter what, it's just the way people are. But there must be a special annoyance to 'all boys' comments because the assumption is that of course all women want a daughter.

There are no definites about who will stay in touch with whom as they grow older. I know many men who are close to their mothers and talk regularly, take them on trips etc.

TeaAddict235 · 22/06/2019 21:07

I would consider you very blessed OP!

If I'm not mistaken, in west Africa and probably in most of Africa, you would have elevated yourself up in society as boys are greatly considered a familial advantage ( family name being propagated, usually men earn more and also take care of their elders in some cultures).

Keep going OP, you are blessed, probably tired, but are able to influence society so much through your sons (through teaching them how to eliminate gender and racial biases, ensure equal pay, respect the time and energy toils on a woman's body postpartum, etc etc etc). You are a Star

Ravingstarfish · 22/06/2019 21:11

I wanted a boy because I hated the idea of having a daughter like me.
I think boys are more fun, down to earth and less worrisome.
I think girls can be mean, bitchy and spiteful - even if ‘my’ daughter wasn’t, they’re more likely to experience that side in school/life. I think you can worry less about boys. Boys tend to be more easy going too. If I had another I’d want a boy.

stairway · 22/06/2019 21:17

I think boys are less likely to grow up and judge their parents in the same way as girls. I think boys are simpler emotionally.

Kaykay06 · 22/06/2019 21:26

Mummy of 4 boys here
I adore my lovely boys, they are cuddly and kind and fun and quirky and by the time no4 boy arrived it was already chaos he just added to the fun.

You are blessed with your 3 lovely boys
I wanted a girl for ages but actually now I’m glad I’ve got all boys and am so proud of them all (eldest almost 18, then 14, 9 &8)
Sometimes it’s just hard work, but that could be said for parents of 4 girls or 2 boys 2 girls or whatever. You morph into the parent your kids need you to be I think

ChiaraRimini · 22/06/2019 22:21

The thing is, when they pop out , they are all just babies, not "boys" or "girls". As they grow, you grow to love them for themselves. xx or xy chromosomes don't dictate their personalities. Other genetic factors and the family environment are far more important IMHO

ChiaraRimini · 22/06/2019 22:22

Loads of stereotyping on this thread as well which is really sad Confused

LucilleBluth · 22/06/2019 22:26

I would agree with poster ChiaraRimini. I have two boys and a girl. When they're yours there's really no difference in how much you love them or their personalities. They're just people.

Also my DD has two older brothers and thus is a product of that male influenced environment. There are so many variables.

Saying that there's a ridiculous thread in AIBU at the minute where apparently a man who's close to his mother doesn't make a good husband. It's these kind of ridiculous stereotypes that need breaking down. For man as well as women.

LucilleBluth · 22/06/2019 22:28

My god...I'm on my third wine hence the incomprehensible writing.

LtGreggs · 22/06/2019 22:32

My boys have made me more sporty and more relaxed about appearance/properness as they are just not bothered about that kind of hierarchy. I think that's been a positive for me personally. They also help me see the world a bit more through male eyes, which is interesting.

I also worry about losing touch when older - that I'll always be the mother-in-law. I'll try and be nice and hope for the best. I have concluded that there's not much more I can do than bring them up as best I can and make sure they know that I love them and will always be there to support them.

When they were little, I also missed the opportunity for stripey tights and pinafore dresses. But I was a ninja at brio train track configuration Grin

Whatareyourthoughtsonthis · 22/06/2019 22:38

Thanks yes, it’s a bonus if your children are great pals when they are adults , but not a given. Yes you are right , people will comment about anything it’s just human nature, but I do find it hurts when fellow pregnant mothers get the ‘oh how lovely’ reaction on announcing they are having a girl (especially after boys) and the general reaction I receive is ‘heavens good luck with that!’ Ultimately it doesn’t matter what others think and say as I know my boys can be very lovely (aged 3 and nearly 6 at present), but if I’m feeling over tired, over worked by two part time jobs and have had a “uncooperative” day with my sons, the comments can push my buttons, and one feels alientated by them. I don’t want to not hang out with other mothers out of fear that they might make sweeping gender comments, as that would be silly!

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