If you don't/can't work, how do you fill up your time?

[Jellylegsni]

I can't work due to health reasons (mental and physical). I haven't worked since having my child. She's been at nursery but part time and is due to start full time in school next September which will obviously leave me with a lot more time on my hands.

I don't know how to spend my days. I've got no real structure or routine as it is. I'm also limited on what I can do. I am unable to drive and I am not always fully mobile so sometimes I am stuck to sitting or lying down and not able to do simple things like basic housework. I've lost touch with friends and don't have much family, so rarely see anyone besides my DH and our daughter. I don't actually mind that. I don't feel lonely but I do feel I need something to occupy my mind and also to give me a sense of accomplishment or achievement.

Any ideas or advice or even just stories from people in the same boat? I think some of my issue is that I've been in this position for a few years now and my motivation and confidence is at a low.

Coursera is another good option if you want to learn for learning’s sake as don’t pay unless you want the certificate. I did a 5 week course recently and enjoyed it.

Have you got any befriender services in your area?

You could start by using the service as a client and use the service (befrender) to not only get you seeing someone and getting you feeling less isolated but to help you find opportunities in your area.

Befriending is lots of times done by volunteers who are trained and supported by the organisation to deliver the service to the service users so it could be a high possibility that once you are ready to move on from using the service you could become a befriender yourself.

I’m self employed and have quiet periods which have sometimes gone on for months. In that time I enter competitions! There are websites / forums you can join that list them all. I won a holiday, household appliances, vouchers, jewellery, hampers, everything really. Give it a go!
I also found some work from home jobs doing typing for local businesses, ironing, etc
I quite liked it really

Happymum4ever
I don't work and DP only works 20 hours per week (hoping to drop to 16 as tax credits will be about the same!)

I ride my horse and Dd's pony every day. I am hunting for another pony

I plan our holidays down to the last second ( too many hours on Disney forums)

I take care of myself (gym bunny!)- I'm a size 8, most if the working mum's I see are heavy/obese as they only have time to shovel in junk food and are trapped at a desk for 9 hours a day

I see a lot of my friends in the day for lunch

How on earth do you afford all of this if you are claiming tax credits and therefore on a low income?

(presumably your post is goady because really you are sat at home bored out of your mind).

@BossAssBitch

I have 5 kids all in school. I get a tax credit payment that is better than a full time wage, so I don't need to work :)

And DP doesn't need to work too much either just a shame he works when I have my free time or out love life would be another thing I could fit in to fill my days maybe when he drops his hours I recommend a big family lol

If I worked I would be knackered , obese, look a mess, wages wiped out in childcare and paying someone to ride the horses, no time to see my friends, no time to help with homework, 5 kids means house needs looking after, when would I do it all lol

Also kids have dance, riding lessons, swimming, you name it, they couldn't do that if I was stuck in an office.

Bye, going for a run it's nice out enjoy your boss job

Have you thought about researching your family tree? I did it a few years ago and found it really interesting and quite addictive. It's surprising how far you can go back and you don't need much info to start, just your parents and grandparents places and DOBs

I recently sent off for a set of acrylic paints, and spend time doing still life painting. Not very good at the mo, and need lots of practice but the time flies. There's loads of information on YouTube.

Isn't it about time you had another baby, Happymum? That'll take up a bit of time!

regarding tax credits from 2015 you only get them for 2 children so definitely not sure why happy mum recommends lots of kids

I. In a similar situation, I have sarcoidosis, and arthritis, and in flare ups I can be bed bound.
Because the disease has no predictability, I can be fine for a while and suddenly not.
It makes it extremely difficult to be able to commit to a schedule.

I found I really enjoyed going to the beach when I was physically well enough. In time I started collecting driftwood and sea glass and bringing it home.
I ended up making a few projects, and people liked them, so I gave them as gifts.
Then people asked would I make something for them too, if they paid me.
It grew from there.

On days I feel ok, I go to the beach and gather. I can go as slow as I need, and take breaks as I choose. I also photograph the glass at the shore
On days when I have small bit of energy, I make art.
On days I can't move and sleep most of the time, I lay in bed and do photo cropping, make albums and order prints, do emails , and post ads

Doing it this way gives me the chance to work as I am able, and still brings in a few bucks, without the obligation of a paid position.
I don't have to worry if I wake up sick that I am letting someone down. If I wake up feeling well enough, I can go to the beach, and know I am still being productive!

I know it's not an option for everyone, clearly, but maybe there is an idea like it, you could do, based on what is in your area?

I started crafting, I started a blog about my disability as a way to connect with those in a similar position and to vent, I worked for Lionbridge to bring in some extra cash, I studied for a qualification I never ended up completing when I realised I would never be able to do a conventional job again, and I watched a lot of box sets! It is very lonely if you can't get out though and the one thing I regret not doing more was inviting people round. I lost a lot of friends as I just stopped communicating with people, and while they could have done more too, I was partly to blame. Social interaction is a must.

ChampooPapi - happymum will soon come and tell you that as a mum of 5 dc, they are protected. As she has done on other threads. She's a wind up, best to ignore. Sorry to derail your thread OP.

This afternoon the choice is: take dog for a walk; go to the U3A meeting that's on at 2.00; hop on train to go to nearest town to buy a top; get the paints out and paint a still life. OR have another cup of tea and think about it.

@Happymum4ever Why don't you fuck off and make your own goady thread elsewhere.

@Jellylegsni Can you contact your local community centre/ community education dept. There is a surprising amount of groups and classes in the community but they are not well publicised. My local has a community cafe, fare share food distribution, discussion group and periodic events you can either join in with or volunteer with.

Happymum4ever you sound utterly unhinged

How am I unhinged? I said I go riding and to the gym and do housework. Nothing unhinged about that?

I get full TC's for all mine as they were all born before 2015. We get a LOT of money. Yes, we have a very easy life. But why should we turn it down? The government obviously thinks we need the money. I'm not going to turn round and say no thanks, I'd rather work full time in a call centre and never see my kids, and come out worse off!

Haven’t rtft- can you join your local book/reading group?

Oh happymum you poor thing you really sound like you are not quite right, justifying your very lazy and benefit- scrounging life by telling yourself that if you worked you would be ‘obese, a mess and ignore the kids’. And I’m sure you would be.

The rest of us however manage to work and look after our kids and ourselves. And I too am a size 8, look amazing 😉 , have friends and hobbies and loads of quality time with my kids.

Have fun trotting around your field

It's not for everyone but my PlayStation is my best friend. I also love jigsaws. Super relaxing.

Open university is something I could look into but I suspect the cost might be a problem Open Learn on Open University had lots of short courses for free, so 10-20 hours at your own pace, and yuou can get a certificate of completion.
Alt if you're interested in science, you can get second degree funding for a science degree. Something like the combined honours STEM gives lots of subject flexibility. But def check out their free short ones first

Now, I know it's all a fantasy, but I don't think I could be having sex with a partner (never mind having DC with them) if they were a scrounger. Benefits are meant to be there to help those who really need them. Have some self respect.

and yes to OU short courses. One of my DC did one on money management which he used for his DoFE skill as it's certificated and evidenced it was ideal.