I can't cope with interviews and have turned down 7 interviews in the past 3 months.

[wantingtodie]

Social anxiety has turned my life and I can't find a way out.

I've just had a terrible job interview for a job I know I can do. I have all the skills but I just can't get passed the interview stage. My mind goes blank and I don't know what to say.

I've turned down 7 interviews in the past few months because I can't bare to go through with the interview. Some interviews I've cancelled on the day. Im never going to get a job that I want. Im working with an agency at the moment as the interview was informal and something that I could cope with.

I feel so so down and honestly I do feel like not living. I envy people who can just talk. I have had this for so long that I don't even know who I am without this.

Anyone?

Yes. I absolutely feel this way too. I do.

And it utterly utterly fucks me the fuck off about myself.

There’s this job advertised at the moment. It is THE job for me.
I’ve completely talked myself out of it and have got half way through the application form and given up.

It’s shit

Me too! I see lots of jobs that I know I can do. I saw one recently that I have 19 years of direct experience in. I am shit at interviews. My mind goes blank and I ramble about crap and fuck it up. I desperately need out of my job cause it’s making me ill (been signed off sick of the past month).

You can start by giving me advice on how you are getting so many interviews!

Can you try rescue remedy before the interview?
You must have a great CV to be getting so many interviews so you are capable of these jobs.

I feel the same, I’ve been unemployed for a year now. I’ve some how managed to force myself to attend all interviews (although only been asked to 4 so far) but the fear is crippling and I feel sick to my stomach. I can’t articulate myself well, and the most embarrassing thing is that I’m applying for entry level minimum wage jobs. Rejected by all, and I’ll then be up all night after an interview thinking how stupid I sounded

I’ve previously had CBT and counselling which slightly helped in other aspects of my life but not with interviews.

Most recently I have been rejected by a voluntary ‘no experience’ role. I truly feel I have no place in society

I know it's easy to say, but if you can treat interviews as though they are a chat rather than an interrogation you'll feel a lot happier. It's meant to be a two way thing, so you can see whether you want the job if it's offered. Also, remember, If you've got as far as an interview, that means they like you already!

Try hypnosis? I was freaking out about university exams (a long time ago) and had hypnosis to help me cam down enough to stayvsat at the table and get started on the exam - once I got my head down I was fine.

Take every interview you can get, even if you think you would turn the job down. If you find a job you really want try and get other interviews to do around it and dilute the pressure about that one interview.
Like most scary things the more you practice the less awful it seems.
Accept that it might be a numbers game, so doing a few interviews before a job offer is normal. If one goes badly then focus on the next one.
Try and have a steady stream of applications/ interviews going so no one position is stressed about too much.

Does it affect your ability to do the job?
Is it worth mentioning in your cover letter? Does it count as a disability? Maybe you could ask for a telephone chat before the interview to settle your nerves and make a good first impression (if you’re ok on telephones?).

I find it helps to acknowledge to the interviewer that you’re nervous. It’s a good way to break the ice and gives you more control.

The Young Woman's trust can give you interview coaching if you're between the ages of 18-30. They have a website where you can access their services.

I love being interviewed! I get an hour to talk about nothing but myself

If you're near South West London, I'd be happy to give you some face to face coaching and interview practise.

I think this is one of those situations that you need to face head on. The more interviews you do the better. Even if they’re awful. For example, phonecalls used to give me terrible anxiety. Now, having had to make constant calls at work to clients. I got over my fear and think nothing of phoning to make an appointment etc. It was hard and a bit awkward at times but you need to put yourself out of your comfort zone. Have you watched Nadiya’s Anxiety and Me on BBC?

Be prepared but try not to overthink. Organise exactly where you’re going, who is interviewing you and take notes along with you as a prompt. Try to think of it as you’re interviewing them. And if the interview is bad, it’s their fault for not putting you at ease!

Thank you for all your messages and kind words but honestly I really don't know how I'll ever overcome this. I have been like this all my life and just can't get seem to improve. I've had therapy/ cbt which didn't help. I feel like a hopeless case.

Everyone hates and dreads interviews don't they?

We just have to do it to get that job. Like a lot of things in life, they are unpleasant but necessary.

crosser62 please complete the application! You can do it.

Beaniebeemer I hope you find a job soon. Being stuck in a job you hate is the worst thing for people like us. It just feels like you can never get out.

MT2017 WhereForArtThou ha! My jobs are all low paid admin jobs at my local hospital and some other organizations so nothing amazing!

cathycassidy it's shit isn't it when you can't even get entry level jobs. It's the same for me. I know I can do the job but every single interview I fuck up.

Myimaginarycathasfleas I understand what you're saying. But it really does feel like an interrogation and my mind goes blank. Today's was a competency based interview and I just couldn't think of good examples and when I did I kept getting my words mixed up. I wanted the ground to swallow me up.

I wonder if being really upfront about it would be a problem. There are plenty of jobs where the ability to give a good interview is completely irrelevant to the job itself.

I had this problem, but it was fixed for me by a recruiter finding an old CV on-line and sending me for an interview on the same day. I didn't have time to panic, or even change my clothes.

I went to the interview, we laughed about the bonkers recruiters and I got the job. I've since "re-interviewed" to make the job permanent, but if that set of circumstances hadn't happened I'd probably still be curled up whimpering at the bottom of my wardrobe.

dreichuplands thanks that's a great tip.

museumum once I'm in th job I'm ok- I do find it difficult but I have alot of experience on face to face/!first point of call type roles and I push through it and I am very good. It's just the initial hurdle I can't seem to ovwr

mimibunz I don't think I'd need to tell them I was nervous- it was sooo obvious. I wanted to die- they kept saying take your time/ shall we repeat the question!

RNBrie oh that's so kind of you but I'm nowhere near you. I'm up north!

I too, have social anxiety, my mind go blank during interviews, kept saying the wrong or irrelevant things. I have turned down few interviews due to the same reason, I have a lot of skills and experience, I have no problems getting interviews.

It is so soul destroying when know you can do the job but can't convince people that you can.

I would think that beta blockers could be very useful in this situation. They are prescribed for situational anxiety and completely block symptoms of anxiety.
They are non addictive with minimal side effects.

I have a similar problem. I don't blank out at interviews (though I've had a lot of rejections, I realise now that it's a numbers game in a ridiculously competitive field; I also have a hearing impairment which messed with my chances pre-Equality Act/DDA).

My really big problem is completing the application. Statements In Support are torture for me, and always have been, since my English teacher ripped into the first draft of my UCCA application nearly 35 years ago. When I'm faced with that blank page, I still feel like a 17-year-old whose vocabulary is wrongly pitched and whose activities, or lack of them, betray the wrong kind of personality. I know this sounds melodramatic and I should have got over it by now, but it's still an issue. And I'm not alone by the looks of it.