I just walked out of work ffs

[Slightaggrandising]

I've been performance managing a very poorly performing individual for a year. Today he's finally broken me. I told him I was going to take a task off him because I wasn't confident we would meet our deadline. He went straight to my LM who's now trying to make me give him even more responsibility. My ears started ringing and my heart pounding and I just had to leave ASAP.

I just can't do it anymore. I feel sick going into work. I feel sick if I see an email from him. The "big" boss still expects immaculate output from my department and it feels as though this individual is sabotaging me. I just can't do it anymore and I don't know what to do. Everyone tells me how bad the guy is but when I need support from them, it's never there.

HR are involved, the performance management process has escalated so is being reviewed at a senior level to decide on the outcome but that's months away.

I don't know what to do

Contrary to what , Escape says. (Bit of an ironic user name, there, i must say). No you shouldn't go 'straight' back to work. Nothing and I mean nothing at all is worth your sanity.
I bet she sails through her job like one of those an I'm alright Jack types

I would speak with HR immediately, get on the record that you feel entirely unsupported in your role

Definately.

And being as He went straight to my LM who's now trying to make me give him even more responsibility. make sure you email/put it in writing that if LM insists it is in the understanding that you are against it as with PM person doing X in your opinion it will result in Y.

Are you going to go back in tomorrow or take some much needed time off? I hope you can see the dr this week.

Shame on @escapethecastle for suggesting that you should go straight back to work

it was a fair point though. You might not like it, but storming out looks unprofessional and childish, it makes YOU look bad. It weakens your position, makes it look like you don't want or cannot handle your job.
No one wins.

I have seen people storming out without any impact, but they were valuable enough to the business to get away with it.

Put your concerns in writing. Spell out the situation clearly and factually without attributing any blame. State the help and support you need.
Send it to your LM and HR so you have a clear record that you have proactively asked for help with the situation.

That way they can’t pretend you didn’t tell them.

If you need a couple of days to clear your head then take them, it can make a big difference. But do send the email so you have an audit trail that you escalated the issue and asked for help.

One option might be to offer to your LM that they continue the performance management and all supervision as you a no longer prepared to/can’t cope/can’t make it work while undermined. Perhaps add that you can’t keep propping everything up while his team member is dragging the work of the team down? I would try to make it their problem especially now that they have interfered.

As a medium option you could ask that the LM supervises just some work and let them see what you are faced with.

And outline the toll this is having on you, you are showing signs of stress - detail them, put it in writing and politely demand that your LM becomes part of the solution.

I also understand the advice of @escapethecastle. It does not look like the line manager wants anything else but peace (most do).

Line managers tend to want their job to be easier rather than more complicated by their team. Most LM I have dealt with don't understand what 'managing' really means. They have their own indicators of success and want you to contribute to them. Everything else is a nuisance. I would really avoid interaction as much as possible for the time being but covering my back in terms of what it's considered 'professional'. Walking out your boss' office is not normally in the category, no matter how justified you were.

I’ve done this before- much lower ranking job (call centre) but same kind of ineffective management. I’d just been ground down so much I finally got to the point that I had run out of shits to give.

I went back to my desk, emailed my manager basically telling him I was going home and wouldn’t be back for the foreseeable. He rang me later, clearly panicking, and I told him I’d be in touch as per the sickness policy. Got a sick note from the doctor for stress, took a few days to try and right myself mentally, before looking for a new job. I found one within 3 weeks, a role which I love.

Best thing I ever did.

OP, I am due to go back to work on Thursday afternoon being signed off for two weeks with stress. Mine is due to being completely overworked as the rest of my team are either new or ridiculously underperforming, I was working 12 hour days in the office then casting on at hinge yet a colleague was updating his Spotify playlist every time I walked up to his desk.

Are you able to email your manager to say you are struggling and won't be in tomorrow to give you a bit of space before you start l decide what to do? If you have that many years service do you have decent sick pay and could you get to aGP and day how it is affecting you?

Feeling overwhelmed and unsupportive is just awful, and incredibly stressful

Interested that just you are doing the PM, at my place (public sector) the LM and their manager does it, any chance you get get a second person involved?

"Atalune

Hand your notice in.

The won’t accept it"

That's a huge risk to take!

They shrug it off because, whilst they may have experienced great stress, they haven't yet met the stressor that just switches off / overloads their coping mechanism.

I think many of us were unthinking until we met our personal unassailable stressor.

Lemon is right. Now you have vented, hide the thread. You don't need us all having our differences of opinion at you!

Is it possible they chose to give him more responsibility so that he'd utterly screw it up they could get rid of him (even if the process isn't actually that simple your boss may still have that plan)?

Regardless, when you feel able, gather yourself, go back in with chin up. Apologise. Explain the situation has put so much strain on you that you reached breaking point and had to excuse yourself. Ask what the new plan is as the current set up is unsustainable generally, and more specifically for you. Leave it very clearly as a question that needs an answer, not a statement. Follow it up (or do it in advance) in writing as an email.

Good luck!

Keep going OP. I've got experience of PM'i g a number of poorly performing staff in the past - because sadly it's clear that I am the only person prepared to do it. For some managers, they baulk at the idea but it is so unfair on everyone else when poor performance goes ignored.

You need to discuss with your LM and get a clear idea of just what he was thinking. You cannot be expected to ignore poor performance and if this is the message being cascaded to you then you should take it up with HR.

If you're at the point of almost quitting anyway you have nothing to lose by going to senior management and HR - in writing - and basically saying "I've had enough! This person is making my job unbearable, I'm completely unsupported by LM, the whole situation is making me ill and if you don't get him away from me I will have no choice but to quit! But I will do so on the understanding it was constructive dismissal due to poor management"

Clearly you are of more value to them than this tosser! So if they have ANY sense about them they will get rid or at the very least move the arse away from you.

Utterly ridiculous that it's been a year! If they're that bad they need to go!

But I'm no expert. You could get advice from Acas or your Union if you're in one?

First thing I would do is would call the LM and say I was taken ill.
Second thing I would do is contact GP for an appointment with a view to having sick leave for stress. Give yourself some time to recover.
Once these things are sorted, call HR and ask for a meeting.
Don’t say you walked out because you couldn’t handle it.

I also agree that walking out does look unprofessional and won't work in your favour. I would either go back or arrange a meeting ASAP as suggested with your line manager to explain why you walked out and how the stress of the situation is affecting you. It sounds harsh but nothing will be solved by just walking out. Going off sick is a temporary solution and may force your managers hand into doing something about this individual, especially if it then means they have to inherit the performance review themselves in your absence.
It's a shitty situation to be in but if you just resign without notice you may find it incredibly hard to get further employment.

Honestly some of the advice on here is akin to telling someone who has tripped over and broken their leg to hop to their desk and fill in an incident report. Before finishing off a days work and apologising for screaming in pain.

Just a thought, are you sure this waste of space person is not related to your line manager, or they have a connection in some way ?

There are other jobs. You have to put your own health first.

Is your useless underling shagging someone in management, or related to one of the bosses? The fact that he went bleating to your immediate superior suggests he thinks he's more important to the company than you are, despite being incompetent.

Can you email your LM and whomever you report to (who asked you to PM the other guy) and say as per your meeting today LM wants PM guy to be guven xyz and yiy feel that he will now be best placed to PM the guy you have?

Shame on me? Soontobe60 ? You didn't read my post very well did you?

If I were you I would call my LM and apologise for leaving but say you were suddenly taken unwell and that you are going to GP. I say this because where we work (NHS) walking out is a disciplinary offence so you need to explain it, fast.

Then get signed off by GP. Then get it in writing to your HR Dept (who work for the company don't forget, not for you so they will try and cover up if the company needs them to...) that you are struggling to line manage this person as you feel unsupported and despite asking for help things are now so bad you are signed off sick.

Hope you feel better with some time out, stress at work is horrible.

I would take a week to consider what you want to do OP. Sometimes things like this happen and it's God's way of saying it's time your you to make a change.

I have no idea why LM felt the need to intervene except that he's a very "nice man" so may have been trying to do my PM person a favour.

I wonder if a woman would have got the same consideration.

I've had colleagues that have been protected by senior management, it sucks.

lemon perfect post. OP you are ill, end of, do not make any rash decisions now, see the GP.