Teenage girl sharing hotel room....

[AndOnAndOn]

After opinions on whether it is OK or not for 12/13 year old girl to share a hotel room with step dad while mum sleeps in another room with the the baby?

No drip feeding, no issues, mum and step dad married for about 8 years, no previous concerns.

Is this OK or not ever?

Thank you in advance

No. Not appropriate.

Oh wow. My DD has been doing twice yearly hobby trips with her father where they share a premier inn room for 2/3 days since she was about 11.

That was her choice, good for her. I know I would have hated it (I occasionally had to share with my older brother and I found it horrible). Everyone is different!

That was her choice, good for her. I know I would have hated it (I occasionally had to share with my older brother and I found it horrible). Everyone is different!

Indeed it was. But my post was in response to you saying

TBH I don't think it's appropriate even if it was her actual father - I think a teen girl needs privacy at that age. I don't think there's anything dodgy about it, I just think that with all the body changes that go on for a teen girl at that age, privacy is important. Teen DD shares with me on holiday but I can't imagine her wanting to share with her father.

So to comeback with it's ok if it's her choice goes absolutely against the post I was responding to.

It's totally fine for father's and teen daughters to share. Of course it has to be their choice, but not blanket inappropriate.

You need a family room or a family room and a single room (if it’s a small hotel like above a nice pub). I wouldn’t leave my 12/13 year old far away in a TravelLodge for example x

I would assume her SD is abusing her or wants to abuse her

joystir59 are you serious?!

From the very limited information the OP has given us, what on earth has made you believe this?

Or do you believe that all men want to abuse children?

So to comeback with it's ok if it's her choice goes absolutely against the post I was responding to.

If you say so 🙄

I’d say it was fine so long as it’s twin beds. I expect my teen DD to share with her older brother and would also expect her to share with her dad if she was away with him. Wouldn’t occur to me to be any different. They can all wear pj’s and change in bathrooms

Not lawful either!

I think There are legal guidelines for kids above a certain age sharing with opposite sex siblings but not sure how that translates to step parents?

@DoctorDread only in cases of overcrowding in housing association rentals.

“. I wouldn’t leave my 12/13 year old far away in a TravelLodge for example”

Why not?

@user1486131602 what's not lawful?

@knittedthrow I think, legally speaking, children should not share a bedroom with anyone of the opposite sex once they reach 12.
Not sure this applies to short term accommodation though or whether it's just their bedroom at home

I think, legally speaking, children should not share a bedroom with anyone of the opposite sex once they reach 12

@newmomof1 utter tosh. Theres no laws that state that at all.

I'd have hated it as a teen. Even as an adult I wouldn't like to share with my dad.

@knittedthrow - wasn't sure where I'd heard it so thanks for clarifying!

It's shocking that in our society we are so quick to judge and so mistrustful of men.

No it isn't. Men are responsible for almost all sexual assaults and violence towards women and girls. It's just common sense to think twice.

If he's a paedophile then it's not OK.

If he's a normal, caring Step dad then I'd say it's probably best if you do another arrangement as others have said, teen in own room and parents and baby in one room. Just because that makes sense rather than the current scenario. If you can't do that and teen is OK with it, then sharing a room with her stepdad is fine. He's been in her life since she was 4, so he's hardly a stranger to her.

My teen DD would rather die than share a hotel room with me and my DP, but we've only been together 4 years and she insists he isn't and never will be her stepdad (massive issues with her own dad).

So all things being equal with your DD and DPs relationship, there's no reason they can't share. Unless you have reasons not to trust him, in which case the sharing of a hotel room should be the least of your concerns.

Thanks for all the input, gives me a lot to think about.

Just to reiterate there is no suspicions or issues at all with the SD. I've done some safeguarding through work and to me it screams no as the SD is leaving himself open to accusations.

It is a naice middle class family with nothing dodgy going on. No drip feeding I'm afraid!

I still don't know what the right answer is or how I feel.....

We would all share at that age, did so at 17 last

TBH I don't think it's appropriate even if it was her actual father - I think a teen girl needs privacy at that age

DD would be happy to share a twin room with her dad. Like a pp, they'd take it in turns to use the bathroom to shower/change, etc. She is 17y and will be sharing with both of is, in a triple room, on holiday this summer - and has previously on holidays where adjoining rooms haven't been available and/or the cost of a separate room is twice the price of having a triple to share. But that is with her agreement and she's more than happy to do so.

It is a naice middle class family with nothing dodgy going on
Wtf! Don't middle class men abuse children then?

“s the SD is leaving himself open to accusations”

Accusations from who?