My husband is normally lovely but has slowly become quite rude and bossy. I can ignore/push back but he is spectacularly rude to my mum.
Last month she came to stay and he was irritated every time she took a breath and snapped at her constantly. It was tense and awful. I was upset for my mum and personally embarrassed at his behaviour.
He can be quite controlling and tell me what to do. As an example, He went bonkers when I said I was going to do gardening one evening.
When I try and discuss it with him and say I don't tell him what to do, he tells me "don't turn it into something it is not".
We have just been to stay with my mum and DH painted her spare room. When the first coat was on she said she wasn't sure on the colour. He went nuts shouting that he wasn't changing it and got really aggressive. He carried on being rude, combative and basically a d**k for the rest of the weekend.
I kept trying to talk to him about it and he would apologise to me but could not see a problem with it (he thought he was doing her a favour with the decorating, I guess).
At one point I burst into tears and asked that he was kinder to her. He nodded along and then said we didn't need "to keep talking about it".
We came home yesterday and this morning my mum rang saying how hurt she is, how rude he is and how she isn't sure she wants him in the house for a while.
I don't blame her. He was horrible.
How can I make my husband see how vile he is to her, and how upset it makes my mum and me? Everytime I bring it up he says "it is done now" and "let's not keep going over it"... I am at a loss and feel really sad.
Any advice?