Ashes. Where would you get yours scattered?

[Miljah]

Feeling a bit maudlin tonight.

Somewhere in my house I have half my dad's ashes, RIP 10 years ago, and all of mum's (3 years ago). The other half of dad's are on a Cornish beach where he grew up, scattered 7-8 years ago.

But, like so many, 'we' don't have 'a home'. My parents were west of England, tho 50 miles apart ; my DH's were Queenslanders, with their ashes in neat boxes in a memorial wall in the local crem to where they lived for 40 plus years.

My parents lived in rural Wilts for 45-50 years, but I never felt, nor do feel that the local church, despite DH and I getting married there, but with my family's scant attendance,or involvement by my family (I was the one in the choir!)- would be appropriate. Tho mum loved the peace of the church yard.

What do I do with their ashes, that I will mix? I am thinking half on mum's parents' grave in rural north Devon- or Boscastle, her ancestral home?; is that appropriate for dad? Being his in-laws grave? Half carefully on dad's dad's grave? Avoiding his second wife? 🙄😊 Yet some on his mother's grave who died when he was six. Not appropriate for mum?

I am overthinking this. I need one of those companies that make rockets to shoot your ashes into space, don't I?

For the record, I have many friends (we're mid 50s) who did the churchyard burial in their 'home' village for parents who no longer have any ties with that village apart from mum's grave ☹️.

I would just have mine scattered on my favourite walk in the woods. it's sad to say goodbye but this is for you now, if they didn't expressly say I would mix their ashes up together and let them go at a place you would like to remember them at. Preferably one you can get to easily if you want to sit on a bench and think about them. A lovely beach, a family holiday, good day out. I like the idea of dust and particles and connecting as elements.
I'm sorry for your losses.

Thanks, fagash 😊 Sometimes I feel the passing of the years. I'm 56 so not old, but not young.

I think I need to find a resting place for their ashes before my boys, 18/20 have to!

I was adamant that I wanted to be buried, I hate cremations, they give me the creeps. However I have since decided that I want to be cremated and have my ashes scattered on the Devon beach where I will scatter DH's when the weather improves. We'r will be together then.

My parents, and sister were just cremated. We never wanted to collect ashes. For us, 'ashes' weren't the person in any way. Not really understanding the idea of wanting to take ashes home with you.

As you have them though, I would just go somewhere peaceful - potentially somewhere that has a spiritual feel, somewhere you are 'at one with nature' and spread them there - a beach, a wood, a cliff, a hilltop, a lake or river side, etc.

On whichever grave you like, however makes you feel at peace.

Just don't go spreading them on mountaintops, moorland, meadows or the like where they are a pollutant and, in popular places, cause real damage and problems for the plants that would otherwise have thrived there.

Dad's ashes were interred at the local crems garden of remembrance and he has a stone. Mum paid for a double plot. It's a nice spot at the top of a hill with a bench nearby looking down over the river. I never thought I would be bothered but it's nice to have somewhere to visit (with or without mum), put down some flowers and have a seat.

Just don't make a mess with me.

There's a lovely forest walk with a lake near where I grew up, so I want to be scattered either there or else on Inch beach in Co Kerry. It's beautiful.

We never wanted to collect ashes. For us, 'ashes' weren't the person in any way. Not really understanding the idea of wanting to take ashes home with you

^^
This

We never collected my Dads ashes. My Mum & Dad went when my Aunts ashes were being scattered & thought it was an awful experience. Thankfully neither my Brother or I wanted Dads ashes either so they were I believed scattered at the crematorium. The same will happen to the rest of us.

We scattered my mum’s ashes on a beach in Spain where we had a favourite family holiday when we were kids.

John Lewis!
I was thinking of bags up the trouser legs, like in the “Great Escape”.

I have asked my children to scatter mine on the cliffs above my favourite Cornish beach- when there is an offshore wind! It won’t matter to me as I won’t know what’s going on but I hope they will remember all the happy times we had at that beach over the years and don’t want them to be burdened with a grave which needs upkeep 😁. My dad wants to be buried at his church but my mum has no particular wishes.

I wasn’t sure what to do with my mums so I put them in the place she had been happiest in life.

I want mine scattered on either saltburn beach or up roseberry topping. Both places have a pull on my soul, I would be happy with either.

I want to be scattered in the River Mersey, I am making provision in my will for my executors to hire the ferry, hold a party, Gerry and the Pacemakers in full voice when they chuck me off

Both my parents ashes are spread (dad's 22 years after mum's) in a beautiful bit of woodland we used to go to as a family.

N

My dad is scattered above a beach in the west of Cornwall, close to where they lived. Mum snd I scattered him together. When mum knew she was dying she asked me to make sure she was scattered in the same place. The weather didn't cooperate and so she is currently with the undertaker. I am taking my kids to Cornwall this autumn to fulfill my promise (we live down under) and to show the kids where I want to be scattered.

Sorry about your parents ❤️

I want to be scattered on Hampstead Heath. It's where I grew up. I love it so much.

My dad wants his ashes to go into a firework and my mum a diamond 🤷‍♀️

I haven't really thought about it. The ashes won't be me so it would be best that I was put wherever the scatterer felt happiest.

Why don't you do this? Www.scattering-ashes.co.uk

You can choose a location you love and have access to. Trees are lovely.

The whole thing freaks me out. My dad was scattered at his fav seaside spot but I didn't go.
My grandparents I just didn't ask for their ashes.
But that doesn't answer your question. Were they that bothered? Are you over thinking it? Why not just pick somewhere pretty and local to you?

That link was supposed to be 'bios memorial tree' although there are lots of other ideas on that site.

I am being scattered at a particular coastal place following a direct cremation.

I want mine thrown into a volcano so they will be reborn! (It's a specific one and the service is offered). But that aside, find a woodland/natural burial site that is beautiful perhaps where they will allow your ashes to be added MANY years to come?

Me and dh both on Saltburn beach then whoever does the scattering has an ice cream, poke of chips and a pint

Sorry for your loss. I'd choose somewhere lovely close ish to your home that you can go and remember them in.

I always wanted to be scattered somewhere on the walk around Derwentwater between Keswick and Lower Brandlehow. Except now I've reconverted to Catholicism i guess im going to stick with being buried to hedge my bets. I dont much like the idea but then again neither option appeals.