Op you are young, and you have a job you like, albeit it is demanding, so that isn't the worst position to be in. As pp have said, what do you want in life? Not a fantasy life, but what changes would you make if you could wave a magic wand? Would it be more friends, a dp, lose weight, change jobs? Or other stuff? Ok so you don't have a magic wand, but you can make changes, small things to start off with. Do you rent or own? Would it be possible to move so that you are nearer to a social life, without making your commute intolerable? Your friends abroad, can you make plans to visit them during the holidays, give you something to look forward to. Everyone needs joy in their lives, it sounds like you have lost yours. Do any of the meet ups interest you? Could you do one once a month to start with, even if it means traveling an hour there and back? Could you take up some activity that would get you outside and moving, walking, gardening, not with losing weight as a goal but just for the sense of having done something, and the benefits of getting out there. Are there any hobbies or classes that you could pursue? Maybe you need to try something new, to get you out of your comfort zone, because it's not so comfortable at present. I know you work long hours but if you do something you enjoy it won't seem like a chore. Sorry for all the questions but you sound so hopeless, and you are not hopeless, you are young, smart, and presumably in fair health. Try to picture your life in ten years, will you look back and say, why didn't I do something? I know it would have been tough, but I should have done something then. Don't wait, try and make some changes now, even small ones, even if it's hard. Keep posting on here, smarter people than me will come along I am sure and offer you advice. Good luck.