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What level of 'anti-social behaviour' would you find acceptable in a house share?

40 replies

blindedbytiredness · 08/06/2019 08:15

Name changed as told a few people about this situation and don't want to be outed. I am currently living in a house share for young professionals and have been here for nearly 3 years. In that time I have seen numerous changes in tenants, some of whom I have made good friends with and others who have just kept themselves to themselves but been nice enough and considerate enough to live with.

Around Easter time a new girl moved in and since then it's all gone down hill.
It started with minor annoyances e.g. using other people's food and leaving communal areas really messy (then proceeding to tell me and my other housemate that it's our fault it's untidy), all of which were irritating but nothing I could get worked up about.

Then the second bank holiday in May came around and both myself and the housemate I'm good friends with (our 4th housemate spends most of his time at his girlfriends so have never really spoken to him) didn't stay at home on bank holiday Sunday. My housemate arrived home before me on the Monday and was greeted with new girl and 3 men fast asleep on the kitchen floor with alcohol and weed all over the place, he ended up tidying the place up after she went up to her bedroom at lunchtime as apparently it stank of weed and burning as she had burnt some food to a crisp in the oven too. That afternoon our elderly neighbour came round to tell us the noise had been unacceptable overnight until 7.30am, we apologised and explained it was a new girl and we would have a chat with her.
Fast forward to now and I've just had a sleepless night as her and two friends have done the same again. After repeated requests they did turn the music down at 2am but still carried on talking loudly, laughing and screeching keeping us all awake. I could hear them mimicking us asking them to be quiet so haven't bothered saying anything again despite only having about 2 and a half hours sleep last night.

Just for extra info she has also lost her keys and refuses to pay our landlord for a new one so has openly admitted she is leaving the house unlocked whenever she is last to leave for work and has woken me up many times over the past couple of weeks banging on the door to get in.

So my question is at what point do we say enough is enough and say something to our lettings agent about our concerns? I understand it's a house share so there will be noise but I'm concerned that it's also affecting our lovely neighbours and getting to an unacceptable level. I need to email our agent today about something un related this, should I mention our concerns too?

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blindedbytiredness · 08/06/2019 08:15

To make matters worse the friend that was here overnight wants to move in as the downstairs bedroom has appeared on Zoopla so we assume our housemate is moving in with his GF full time. This makes me want to mention it to our agent more as I can't deal with this every night!!!

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awalkintheparka · 08/06/2019 08:17

Mention it to agent and so you will leave if she isn't gone. Is she in breach of her contract? Sounds awful. There is no way I would put up with that

ShatnersWig · 08/06/2019 08:19

You serious? I can't believe you're seeking advice from strangers on this. I'd have spoken to the agents and landlord by now. The keys/security front issue is serious enough before all the other shit.

Singlenotsingle · 08/06/2019 08:20

Why are you hesitating? Of course you should report it to your letting agent. Your landlord needs to know as well. You can't be expected to put up with this.

VanCleefArpels · 08/06/2019 08:24

I’d bet my house on the fact that she is in breach of her tenancy agreement: security, smoking, noise, overnight visitors

I’d have reported it already, but I think you may need to steel yourself for things being unpleasant when she gets a letter from the agent and/or steps taken to evict her.

I’d also actually be more proactive in terms of tackling her directly about the behaviour. She’s not a student any more, sounds like she needs reminding of this!

blindedbytiredness · 08/06/2019 08:24

Thanks all, the reason I've been hesitating is because I don't like this new girl (because of other things she told me) and I was wondering if my dislike for her was clouding my judgement. Will definitely mention it to my agents.

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user1474894224 · 08/06/2019 08:24

If I were you I would find a flat share with the person you are friendly with and leave the HMO to this new girl. You will be more secure and no one else can move in with the two of you.

blindedbytiredness · 08/06/2019 08:26

VanCleefArpels yes I'm also concerned about her now making our life a misery!
We have sat down with her and actually said it's not a student house so the first time it happened was unacceptable she's actually the oldest in the house too!

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AvocadosBeforeMortgages · 08/06/2019 08:28

I have lodgers. If she was my lodger she'd be gone by now.

Speak to the letting agent pronto.

blindedbytiredness · 08/06/2019 08:28

User me and my housemate had been talking about this just a few days ago. There's nothing on the market at the minute where we currently live but we are going to keep an eye out.

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MustBeDueSomeBetterFeet · 08/06/2019 08:31

Agree with others. Not sure how your lease agreement is set up, but I think it's worth keeping an eye on somewhere to move to. She sounds like a nightmare!!

blindedbytiredness · 08/06/2019 08:32

We both just need to give a months notice to move out so it will be easy enough if somewhere comes up'

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Robin2323 · 08/06/2019 13:59

My son is moving into a house share after uni, this month.
They all sat down and layered the ground rules.
This behaviour would be totally unacceptable.
They don't even flush the toilet after 10pm
And as for leaving the house unlocked. If I was the land lord she d be out on her ear.
She is showing you total lack of respect and pulling her up on this in a firm and assertive way would be my way forward.
I bet she's had problems before.
Keep looking for the flat but certainly inform the land lord.

notmuchmoretogive · 08/06/2019 14:07

She must be in breach of contract due to house security and anti social behaviour and smoking weed. Inform the landlord.

cstaff · 08/06/2019 14:13

She would have been gone after the first incident if I was sharing with her or at the very least I would have reported her behaviour to the landlord. Her carry on regarding the keys puts you all and your belongings at risk. Either move or have her kicked out.

darjeelingisrank · 08/06/2019 14:18

I'd get her kicked out. Why should you have to move and stump up deposits and go through the rigmarole of finding a new place because of that silly twat?

yearinyearout · 08/06/2019 14:20

All totally unacceptable of course, why should you be the one to move out? Make a list of her misdemeanours and present it to your agents asap. Tell them that either she goes and they lose one tenant, or you'll both be going and they lose two.

blindedbytiredness · 08/06/2019 17:28

Had a message from her when I was out earlier saying sorry and that it wouldn't happen again yeah right, she's at work now so not actually seen her. I've emailed our agent though and told them everything, luckily I'm away with work this week so hopefully they will speak to her whilst I'm away!!

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wowfudge · 08/06/2019 17:39

Good for you. A pound to a penny, the apology is only because she wants her friend to move in and is arse covering in case the agents or the LL ask you and the other housemate how things are going with her and so you won't put the boot in.

Robin2323 · 08/06/2019 18:48

Good for you.
That is the adult thing to do.

Upzadaizy · 08/06/2019 19:14

So my question is at what point do we say enough is enough and say something to our lettings agent about our concerns?

Yesterday. Get rid of her as soon as possible.

I've shared houses over the years, and her behaviour is totally unacceptable. It's making the house unsafe.

ForalltheSaints · 08/06/2019 20:19

I think you have been more than reasonable.

I think many people would have supported you if you had moved all her stuff to outside the front door in boxes whilst she was out, given she has no keys.

Redred2429 · 08/06/2019 20:29

Best to report her now and then if she continues your letting agent have evidence

ThatLibraryMiss · 08/06/2019 21:11

Do you have a lock on your room door? If not, will your landlord allow you to put one on? I'd want the door secured before leaving for a week, especially as you've (rightly) told the landlord what she's done.

blindedbytiredness · 08/06/2019 21:18

ThatLibraryMiss yes we all have key codes on our door, I never normally lock mine but that's a good point to lock it what I'm away. I'm hoping the agents will do something but they are pretty useless in general so not holding out for anything.

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